Queries and Answers

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Title:     Queries and Answers
Author: O Henry [More Titles by Henry]

[From The Rolling Stone, June 23, 1891.]

Can you inform me where I can buy an interest in a newspaper of some kind? I have some money and would be glad to invest it in something of the sort, if some one would allow me to put in my capital against his experience.

COLLEGE GRADUATE.

Telegraph us your address at once, day message. Keep telegraphing every ten minutes at our expense until we see you. Will start on first train after receiving your wire.

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Who was the author of the line, "Breathes there a man with soul so dead?" G. F.

This was written by a visitor to the State Saengerfest of 1892 while conversing with a member who had just eaten a large slice of limburger cheese.

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Where can I get the "Testimony of the Rocks"?

GEOLOGIST.

See the reports of the campaign committees after the election in November.

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Please state what the seven wonders of the world are. I know five of them, I think, but can't find out the other two.

SCHOLAR.

The Temple of Diana, at Lexington, Ky.; the Great Wall of China; Judge Von Rosenberg (the Colossus of Roads); the Hanging Gardens at Albany; a San Antonio Sunday school; Mrs. Frank Leslie, and the Populist party.

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What day did Christmas come on in the year 1847?

CONSTANT READER

The 25th of December.

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What does an F. F. V. mean?

IGNORANT.

What does he mean by what? If he takes you by the arm and tells you how much you are like a brother of his in Richmond, he means Feel For Your Vest, for he wants to borrow a five. If he holds his head high and don't speak to you on the street he means that he already owes you ten and is Following a Fresh Victim.

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Please decide a bet for us. My friend says that the sentence, "The negro bought the watermelon OF the farmer" is correct, and I say it should be "The negro bought the watermelon from the farmer." Which is correct? R.

Neither. It should read, "The negro stole the watermelon from the farmer."

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When do the Texas game laws go into effect?

HUNTER.

When you sit down at the table.

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Do you know where I can trade a section of fine Panhandle land for a pair of pants with a good title?

LAND AGENT.

We do not. You can't raise anything on land in that section. A man can always raise a dollar on a good pair of pants.

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Name in order the three best newspapers in Texas.

ADVERTISER.

Well, the Galveston News runs about second, and the San Antonio Express third. Let us hear from you again.

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Has a married woman any rights in Texas?

PROSPECTOR.

Hush, Mr. Prospector. Not quite so loud, if you please. Come up to the office some afternoon, and if everything seems quiet, come inside, and look at our eye, and our suspenders hanging on to one button, and feel the lump on the top of our head. Yes, she has some rights of her own, and everybody else's she can scoop in.

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Who was the author of the sayings, "A public office is a public trust," and "I would rather be right than President"?

Eli Perkins.

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Is the Lakeside Improvement Company making anything out of their own town tract on the lake?

INQUISITIVE.

Yes, lots.

[The end]
O Henry's short story: Queries and Answers

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