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Title: Nonsense Alphabets
Author: Edward Lear [
More Titles by Lear]
A
A was an Area Arch
Where washerwomen sat;
They made a lot of lovely starch
To starch Papa's Cravat.
B
B was a Bottle blue,
Which was not very small;
Papa he filled it full of beer,
And then he drank it all.
C
C was Papa's gray Cat,
Who caught a squeaky Mouse;
She pulled him by his twirly tail
All about the house.
D
D was Papa's white Duck,
Who had a curly tail;
One day it ate a great fat frog,
Besides a leetle snail.
E
E was a little Egg,
Upon the breakfast table;
Papa came in and ate it up
As fast as he was able.
F
[Illustration]
F was a little Fish.
Cook in the river took it
Papa said, "Cook! Cook! bring a dish!
And, Cook! be quick and cook it!"
G
[Illustration]
G was Papa's new Gun;
He put it in a box;
And then he went and bought a bun,
And walked about the Docks.
H
H was Papa's new Hat;
He wore it on his head;
Outside it was completely black,
But inside it was red.
I
I was an Inkstand new,
Papa he likes to use it;
He keeps it in his pocket now,
For fear that he should lose it.
J
[Illustration]
J was some Apple Jam,
Of which Papa ate part;
But all the rest he took away
And stuffed into a tart.
K
K was a great new Kite;
Papa he saw it fly
Above a thousand chimney pots,
And all about the sky.
L
L was a fine new Lamp;
But when the wick was lit,
Papa he said, "This Light ain't good!
I cannot read a bit!"
M
M was a dish of mince;
It looked so good to eat!
Papa, he quickly ate it up,
And said, "This is a treat!"
N
N was a Nut that grew
High up upon a tree;
Papa, who could not reach it, said,
"That's _much_ too high for me!"
O
[Illustration]
O was an Owl who flew
All in the dark away,
Papa said, "What an owl you are!
Why don't you fly by day?"
P
[Illustration]
P was a little Pig,
Went out to take a walk;
Papa he said, "If Piggy dead,
He'd all turn into Pork!"
Q
[Illustration]
Q was a Quince that hung
Upon a garden tree;
Papa he brought it with him home,
And ate it with his tea.
R
[Illustration]
R was a Railway Rug
Extremely large and warm;
Papa he wrapped it round his head,
In a most dreadful storm.
S
[Illustration]
S was Papa's new Stick,
Papa's new thumping Stick,
To thump extremely wicked boys,
Because it was so thick.
T
[Illustration]
T was a tumbler full
Of Punch all hot and good;
Papa he drank it up, when in
The middle of a wood.
U
U was a silver urn,
Full of hot scalding water;
Papa said, "If that Urn were mine,
I'd give it to my daughter!"
V
V was a Villain; once
He stole a piece of beef.
Papa he said, "Oh, dreadful man!
That Villain is a Thief!"
W
W was a Watch of Gold:
It told the time of day,
So that Papa knew when to come,
And when to go away.
X
X was King Xerxes, whom
Papa much wished to know;
But this he could not do, because
Xerxes died long ago.
Y
Y was a Youth, who kicked
And screamed and cried like mad;
Papa he said, "Your conduct is
Abominably bad!"
Z
Z was a Zebra striped
And streaked with lines of black;
Papa said once, he thought he'd like
A ride upon his back.
[The end]
Edward Lear's poem: Nonsense Alphabets
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