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A short story by Richard Connell |
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Honor Among Sportsmen |
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Title: Honor Among Sportsmen Author: Richard Connell [More Titles by Connell] Each with his favorite hunting pig on a stout string, a band of the leading citizens of Montpont moved in dignified procession down the Rue Victor Hugo in the direction of the hunting preserve. MONSIEUR ARISTIDE GONTRAN LOUIS BONTICU Died in the forty-first year of his life on the field of honor. "He was without peer as a hunter of truffles." With almost a smile, he reflected that this inscription would make Monsieur Pantan very angry; yes, he would insist on it. He looked down at his fat fists and sighed profoundly, and shook his big head. They had never pulled a trigger or gripped a sword-hilt; the knife, the peaceful table knife, the fork, and the leash of Anastasie--those had occupied them. Anastasie! A globular tear rose slowly from the wells in which his eyes were set, and unchecked, wandered gently down the folds of his face. Who would care for Anastasie? With another sigh that seemed to start in the caverns of his soul, he reached out and took a dusty book from a case, and bent over it. It contained the time-honored dueling code of ancient Perigord. Suddenly, as he read, his eyes brightened, and he ceased to sigh. He snapped the book shut, took from a peg his best hat, dusted it with his elbow, and stepped out into the starry Perigord night. * * * * * At high noon, three days later, as duly decreed by the dueling code, Monsieur Pantan, in full evening dress, appeared at the shop of Monsieur Bonticu, accompanied by two solemn-visaged seconds, to make final arrangements for the affair of honor. They found Monsieur Bonticu sitting comfortably among his coffins. He greeted them with a serene smile. Monsieur Pantan frowned portentously. "We have come," announced the chief second, Monsieur Duffon, the town butcher, "as the representatives of this grossly insulted gentleman to demand satisfaction. The weapons and conditions are, of course, fixed by the code. It remains only to set the date. Would Friday at dawn in the truffle preserve be entirely convenient for Monsieur?" Monsieur Bonticu's shrug contained more regret than a hundred words could convey. "Alas, it will be impossible, Messieurs," he said, with a deep bow. "Impossible?" "But yes. I assure Messieurs that nothing would give me more exquisite pleasure than to grant this gentleman"--he stressed this word--"the satisfaction that his honor"--he also stressed this word--"appears to demand. However, it is impossible." The seconds and Monsieur Pantan looked at Monsieur Bonticu and at each other. "But this is monstrous," exclaimed the chief second. "Is it that Monsieur refuses to fight?" Monsieur Bonticu's slowly shaken head indicated most poignant regret. "But no, Messieurs," he said. "I do not refuse. Is it not a question of honor? Am I not a sportsman? But, alas, I am forbidden to fight." "Forbidden." "Alas, yes." "But why?" "Because," said Monsieur Bonticu, "I am a married man." The eyes of the three men widened; they appeared stunned by surprise. Monsieur Pantan spoke first. "You married?" he demanded. "But certainly." "When?" "Only yesterday." "To whom? I demand proof." "To Madame Aubison of Barbaste." "The widow of Sergeant Aubison?" "The same." "I do not believe it," declared Monsieur Pantan. Monsieur Bonticu smiled, raised his voice and called. "Angelique! Angelique, my dove. Will you come here a little moment?" "What? And leave the lentil soup to burn?" came an undoubtedly feminine voice from the depths of the house. "Yes, my treasure." "What a pest you are, Aristide," said the voice, and its owner, an ample woman of perhaps thirty, appeared in the doorway. Monsieur Bonticu waved a fat hand toward her. "My wife, Messieurs," he said. She bowed stiffly. The three men bowed. They said nothing. They gaped at her. She spoke to her husband. "Is it that you take me for a Punch and Judy show, Aristide?" "Ah, never, my rosebud," cried Monsieur Bonticu, with a placating smile. "You see, my own, these gentlemen wished----" "There!" she interrupted. "The lentil soup! It burns." She hurried back to the kitchen. The three men--Monsieur Pantan and his seconds--consulted together. "Beyond question," said Monsieur Duffon, "Monsieur Bonticu cannot accept the challenge. He is married; you are not. The code says plainly: 'Opponents must be on terms of absolute equality in family responsibility.' Thus, a single man cannot fight a married one, and so forth. See. Here it is in black and white." Monsieur Pantan was boiling as he faced the calm Bonticu. "To think," stormed the little man, "that truffles may be hunted--yes, even eaten, by such a man! I see through you, Monsieur. But think not that a Pantan can be flouted. I have my opinion of you, Monsieur the undertaker." Monsieur Bonticu shrugged. "Your opinions do not interest me," he said, "and only my devotion to the cause of free speech makes me concede that you are entitled to an opinion at all. Good morning, Messieurs, good morning." He bowed them down a lane of caskets and out into the afternoon sunshine. The face of Monsieur Pantan was black. Time went by in Perigord. Other truffle-hunting seasons came and went, but Messieurs Bonticu and Pantan entered no more competitions. They hunted, of course, the one with Anastasie, the other with Clotilde, but they hunted in solitary state, and studiously avoided each other. Then one day Monsieur Pantan's hairy countenance, stern and determined, appeared like a genie at the door of Monsieur Bonticu's shop. The rivals exchanged profound bows. "I have the honor," said Monsieur Pantan, in his most formal manner, "to announce to Monsieur that the impediment to our meeting on the field of honor has been at last removed, and that I am now in a position to send my seconds to him to arrange that meeting. May they call to-morrow at high noon?" "I do not understand," said Monsieur Bonticu, arching his eyebrows. "I am still married." "I too," said Monsieur Pantan, with a grim smile, "am married." "You? Pantan? Monsieur jests." "If Monsieur will look in the newspaper of to-day," said Monsieur Pantan, dryly, "he will see an announcement of my marriage yesterday to Madame Marselet of Pergieux." There was astonishment and alarm in the face of the undertaker. Then reverie seemed to wrap him round. The scurrying of footsteps, the bumble of voices, in the rooms over the shop aroused him. His face was tranquil again as he spoke. "Will Monsieur and his seconds do me the honor of calling on me day after to-morrow?" he asked. "As you wish," replied Monsieur Pantan, a gleam of satisfaction in his eye. Punctual to the second, Monsieur Pantan and his friends presented themselves at the shop of Monsieur Bonticu. His face, they observed, was first worried, then smiling, then worried again. "Will to-morrow at dawn be convenient for Monsieur?" inquired the butcher, Duffon. Monsieur Bonticu gestured regret with his shoulders, and said: "I am desolated with chagrin, Messieurs, believe me, but it is impossible." "Impossible. It cannot be," cried Monsieur Pantan. "Monsieur has one wife. I have one wife. Our responsibilities are equal. Is it that Monsieur is prepared to swallow his word of insult?" "Never," declared Monsieur Bonticu. "I yearn to encounter Monsieur in mortal combat. But, alas, it is not I, but Nature that intervenes. I have, only this morning, become a father, Messieurs." As if in confirmation there came from the room above the treble wail of a new infant. "Behold!" exclaimed Monsieur Bonticu, with a wave of his hand. Monsieur Pantan's face was purple. "This is too much," he raged. "But wait, Monsieur. But wait." He clapped his high hat on his head and stamped out of the shop. Truffles were hunted and the days flowed by and Monsieur Pantan and his seconds one high noon again called upon Monsieur Bonticu, who greeted them urbanely, albeit he appeared to have lost weight and tiny worry-wrinkles were visible in his face. "Monsieur," began the chief second, "may I have the honor----" "I'll speak for myself," interrupted Monsieur Pantan. "With my own voice I wish to inform Monsieur that nothing can now prevent our meeting, at dawn to-morrow. To-day, Monsieur the undertaker, I, too, became a father!" The news seemed to interest but not to stagger Monsieur Bonticu. His smile was sad as he said: "You are too late, Monsieur the apothecary and veterinarian. Two days ago I, also, became a father again." Monsieur Pantan appeared to be about to burst, so terrible was his rage. "But wait," he screamed, "but wait." And he rushed out. Next day Monsieur Pantan and his seconds returned. The moustachios of the little man were on end with excitement and his eye was triumphant. "We meet to-morrow at daybreak," he announced. "Ah, that it were possible," sighed Monsieur Bonticu. "But the code forbids. As I said yesterday, Monsieur has a wife and a child, while I have a wife and children. I regret our inequality, but I cannot deny it." "Spare your regrets, Monsieur," rejoined the small man. "I, too, have two children now." "You?" Monsieur Bonticu stared, puzzled. "Yesterday you had but one. It cannot be, Monsieur." "It can be," cried Monsieur Pantan. "Yesterday I adopted one!" The peony face of Monsieur Bonticu did not blanch at this intelligence. Again he smiled with an infinite sadness. "I appreciate," he said, "Monsieur Pantan's courtesy in affording me this opportunity, but, alas, he has not been in possession of the facts. By an almost unpardonable oversight I neglected to inform Monsieur that I had become the father not of one child, but of two. Twins, Messieurs. Would you care to inspect them?" Monsieur Pantan's face was contorted with a wrath shocking to witness. He bit his lip; he clenched his fist. "The end is not yet," he shouted. "No, no, Monsieur. By the thumbs of St. Front, I shall adopt another child." At high noon next day three men in grave parade went down the Rue Victor Hugo and entered the shop of Monsieur Bonticu. Monsieur Pantan spoke. "The adoption has been made," he announced. "Here are the papers. I, too, have a wife and three children. Shall we meet at dawn to-morrow?" Monsieur Bonticu looked up from his account books with a rueful smile. "Ah, if it could be," he said. "But it cannot be." "It cannot be?" echoed Monsieur Pantan. "No," said Monsieur Bonticu, sadly. "Last night my aged father-in-law came to live with me. He is a new, and weighty responsibility, Monsieur." Monsieur Pantan appeared numbed for a moment; then, with a glare of concentrated fury, he rasped. "I, too, have an aged father-in-law." He slammed the shop door after him. * * * * * That night when Monsieur Bonticu went to the immaculate little stye back of his shop to see if the pride of his heart, Anastasie, was comfortable, to chat with her a moment, and to present her with a morsel of truffle to keep up her interest in the chase, he found her lying on her side moaning faintly. Between moans she breathed with a labored wheeze, and in her gentle blue eyes stood the tears of suffering. She looked up feebly, piteously, at Monsieur Bonticu. With a cry of horror and alarm he bent over her. "Anastasie! My Anastasie! What is it? What ails my brave one?" She grunted softly, short, stifled grunts of anguish. He made a swift examination. Expert in all matters pertaining to the pig, he perceived that she had contracted an acute case of that rare and terrible disease, known locally as Perigord pip, and he knew, only too well, that her demise was but a question of hours. His Anastasie would never track down another truffle unless---- He leaned weakly against the wall and clasped his warm brow. There was but one man in all the world who could cure her. And that man was Pantan, the veterinarian. His "Elixir Pantan," a secret specific, was the only known cure for the dread malady. Pride and love wrestled within the torn soul of the stricken Bonticu. To humble himself before his rival--it was unthinkable. He could see the sneer on Monsieur Pantan's olive face; he could hear his cutting words of refusal. The dew of conflicting emotions dampened the brow of Monsieur Bonticu. Anastasie whimpered in pain. He could not stand it. He struck his chest a resounding blow of decision. He reached for his hat. Monsieur Bonticu knocked timidly at the door of the apothecary-veterinarian's house. A head appeared at a window. "Who is it?" demanded a shrill, cross, female voice. "It is I. Bonticu. I wish to speak with Monsieur Pantan." "Nice time to come," complained the lady. She shouted into the darkness of the room: "Pantan! Pantan, you sleepy lout. Wake up. There's a great oaf of a man outside wanting to speak to you." "Patience, my dear Rosalie, patience," came the voice of Monsieur Pantan; it was strangely meek. Presently the head of Monsieur Pantan, all nightcap and moustachios, was protruded from the window. "You have come to fight?" he asked. "But no." "Bah! Then why wake me up this cold night?" "It is a family matter, Monsieur," said the shivering Bonticu. "A matter the most pressing." "Is it that Monsieur has adopted an orphanage," inquired Pantan. "Or brought nine old aunts to live with him?" "No, no, Monsieur. It is most serious. It is Anastasie. She--is--dying." "A thousand regrets, but I cannot act as pall-bearer," returned Monsieur Pantan, preparing to shut the window. "Good-night." "I beg Monsieur to attend a little second," cried Monsieur Bonticu. "You can save her." "I save her?" Monsieur Pantan's tone suggested that the idea was deliciously absurd. "Yes, yes, yes," cried Bonticu, catching at a straw. "You alone. She has the Perigord pip, Monsieur." "Ah, indeed." "Yes, one cannot doubt it." "Most amusing." "You are cruel, Monsieur," cried Bonticu. "She suffers, ah, how she suffers." "She will not suffer long," said Pantan, coldly. There was a sob in Bonticu's voice as he said: "I entreat Monsieur to save her. I entreat him as a sportsman." In the window Monsieur Pantan seemed to be thinking deeply. "I entreat him as a doctor. The ethics of his profession demand----" "You have used me abominably, Monsieur," came the voice of Pantan, "but when you appeal to me as a sportsman and a doctor I cannot refuse. Wait." The window banged down and in a second or so Monsieur Pantan, in hastily donned attire, joined his rival and silently they walked through the night to the bedside of the dying Anastasie. Once there, Monsieur Pantan's manner became professional, intense, impersonal. "Warm water. Buckets of it," he ordered. "Yes, Monsieur." "Olive oil and cotton." "Yes, Monsieur." With trembling hands Monsieur Bonticu brought the things desired, and hovered about, speaking gently to Anastasie, calling her pet names, soothing her. The apothecary-veterinarian was busy. He forced the contents of a huge black bottle down her throat. He anointed her with oil, water and unknown substances. He ordered his rival about briskly. "Rub her belly." Bonticu rubbed violently. "Pull her tail." Bonticu pulled. "Massage her limbs." Bonticu massaged till he was gasping for breath. The light began to come back to the eyes of Anastasie, the rose hue to her pale snout; she stopped whimpering. Monsieur Pantan rose with a smile. "The crisis is passed," he announced. "She will live. What in the name of all the devils----" This last ejaculation was blurred and smothered, for the overjoyed Bonticu, with the impulsiveness of his warm Southern nature, had thrown his arms about the little man and planted loud kisses on both hairy cheeks. They stood facing each other, oddly shy. "If Monsieur would do me the honor," began Monsieur Bonticu, a little thickly, "I have some ancient port. A glass or two after that walk in the cold would be good for Monsieur, perhaps." "If Monsieur insists," murmured Pantan. Monsieur Bonticu vanished and reappeared with a cob-webbed bottle. They drank. Pantan smacked his lips. Timidly, Monsieur Bonticu said: "I can never sufficiently repay Monsieur for his kindness." He glanced at Anastasie who slept tranquilly. "She is very dear to me." "Do I not know?" replied Monsieur Pantan. "Have I not Clotilde?" "I trust she is in excellent health, Monsieur." "She was never better," replied Monsieur Pantan. He finished his glass, and it was promptly refilled. Only the sound of Anastasie's regular breathing could be heard. Monsieur Pantan put down his glass. In a manner that tried to be casual he remarked, "I will not attempt to conceal from Monsieur that his devotion to his Anastasie has touched me. Believe me, Monsieur Bonticu, I am not unaware of the sacrifice you made in coming to me for her sake." Monsieur Bonticu, deeply moved, bowed. "Monsieur would have done the same for his Clotilde," he said. "Monsieur has demonstrated himself to be a thorough sportsman. I am grateful to him. I'd have missed Anastasie." "But naturally." "Ah, yes," went on Monsieur Bonticu. "When my wife scolds and the children scream, it is to her I go for a little talk. She never argues." Monsieur Pantan looked up from a long draught. "Does your wife scold and your children scream?" he asked. "Alas, but too often," answered Monsieur Bonticu. "You should hear my Rosalie," sighed Monsieur Pantan. "I too seek consolation as you do. I talk with my Clotilde." Monsieur Bonticu nodded, sympathetically. "My wife is always nagging me for more money," he said with a sudden burst of confidence. "And the undertaking business, my dear Pantan, is not what it was." "Do I not know?" said Pantan. "When folks are well we both suffer." "I stagger beneath my load," sighed Bonticu. "My load is no less light," remarked Pantan. "If my family responsibilities should increase," observed Bonticu, "it would be little short of a calamity." "If mine did," said Pantan, "it would be a tragedy." "And yet," mused Bonticu, "our responsibilities seem to go on increasing." "Alas, it is but too true." "The statesmen are talking of limiting armaments," remarked Bonticu. "An excellent idea," said Pantan, warmly. "Can it be that they are more astute than two veteran truffle-hunters?" "They could not possibly be, my dear Bonticu." There was a pregnant pause. Monsieur Bonticu broke the silence. "In the heat of the chase," he said, "one does things and says things one afterwards regrets." "Yes. That is true." "In his excitement one might even so far forget himself as to call a fellow sportsman--a really excellent fellow--a puff-ball." "That is true. One might." Suddenly Monsieur Bonticu thrust his fat hand toward Monsieur Pantan. "You are not a puff-ball, Armand," he said. "You never were a puff-ball!" Tears leaped to the little man's eyes. He seized the extended hand in both of his and pressed it. "Aristide!" was all he could say. "Aristide!" "We shall drink," cried Bonticu, "to the art of truffle-hunting." "The science--" corrected Pantan, gently. "To the art-science of truffle-hunting," cried Bonticu, raising his glass. The moon smiled down on Perigord. On the ancient, twisted streets of Montpont it smiled with particular brightness. Down the Rue Victor Hugo, in the middle of the street, went two men, a very stout big man and a very thin little man, arm in arm, and singing, for all Montpont, and all the world, to hear, a snatch of an old song from some forgotten revue. "Oh, Gaby, darling Gaby. Bam! Bam! Bam! Why don't you come to me? Bam! Bam! Bam! And jump in the arms of your own true love, While the wind blows chilly and cold? Bam! Bam! Bam!" [The end] GO TO TOP OF SCREEN |