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Title: Fritz Warns The Kaiser
Author: Abner Cosens [
More Titles by Cosens]
Mine dear Kaiser,--Dose tings vas a fake,
Ven you shtart oop dat untersea show
Und already a pardnership make
Mit Von Tirpitz, Von Teufel and Co.
Ven de try dis same game vonce pefore,
Soon ve lose all dose subs dat ve had,
Und dis time ve vill lose dem some more,
For now even dose Yanks haf got mad.
Some advice I vould give to you yet,
(It vill shoost take a minute or two,)
Call dose subs all in oudt of de vet,
Dat's already de best ting to do.
You may tink dat old Fritz is a fool,
Und haf maype some axes to grind,
But dose tings dat he learned oudt of school,
Dey vill pring de improvement of mind.
Since dat day I vas brisoner took,
Und I hafn't got notting to do,
Den I read all dose bapers und book,
Und write maybe a letter or two,
Dere's some tings I already find oudt
Dat de Faderland bapers von't tell,
How dose English, like leetle Hans Shtout,
Haf de pussy cat pulled from de vell.
All dose English must half deir own vay,
Und so soon as deir foes dey vill shmash,
Like Napoleon dey ship dem avay
Or like Thebaw or Arabi Pash;
So I tells you, mine Kaiser, bevare,
Or you gets yourself soon in a fix,
Saint Helena's old rock is still dere
For de feller dat loses de tricks.
[The end]
Abner Cosens's poem: Fritz Warns The Kaiser
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