Humbug

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Title:     Humbug
Author: Falconbridge [More Titles by Falconbridge]

There is no end to the humbug in life. About half we say, and more than half we do, is tinged with humbug. "My Dear Sir," we say, when we address a letter to a fellow we have never seen, and if seen, perhaps don't care a continental cent for him; dear sir! what a humbug expression! "Good morning," (what a lie!) says one, as he meets another one, on a stormy and nasty day, "quite a disagreeable wet day!" What's the use of such a humbug expression as that? If it's a disagreeable and stormy day, every body finds it out, naturally. Full half of the people who appear solicitous about your health, display a gratuitous amount of humbug, for your pocket-book is more beloved than your health; and we have often wondered why matter-of-fact people don't out with it, when they meet, and say--"How's your pocket to-day? Sorry to hear you're out of money!" Or, instead of soft soap, when they meet, why not discard humbug, and say, "Sorry to see you--was blackguarding you all day!" instead of "Glad to see you--have been thinking of you to-day!" or, "I'm glad to see you've been elected Mayor of the city!" when in fact they mean, "Curse you, I wish you had been defeated!" Compliments pass, they say, when gentlemen meet, but, as there are so many counterfeit gentry around, now-a-days, you may bet high that half the compliments that pass are--mere bogus!

[The end]
Falconbridge's short story: Humbug

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