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Title: The City Of "So Be I's" (A Dream)
Author: Bill o'th' Hoylus End [
More Titles by Bill o'th' Hoylus End]
[It is said that when Giles Clumps, the South-downer, first came to Keighley, the first question he asked his fellow labourer was this, "What religion be th' master here?" "A Liberal," was the answer; "So be I," says Giles. "And what politics be th' master?" asked Giles again, "He's a Methody," was the reply; "So be I," says Giles again, "I be a Methody too." Now do not imagine for a moment that Giles Clumps is the only "So be I" in Keighley, for the whole town is full of "So be I's," and it is a well-known fact that if six long YELLOW chimneys were to turn BLUE to-morrow, there wouldn't be a Liberal in six hours in the city of "So be I's," with the exception of the old veteran SQUIRE LEACH.]
Oh list to my dream, nor yet think it wrong,
If I tell it in rhyme, or sing it in song;
For when I look back on the sights that were there,
I could almost, like Blondin, dance high in the air.
For when I reflect, my heart leaps with joy--
What I saw in my dream in old "So be I,"
For thousands were shouting on that pleasant day.
We are all "So be I's," hip, hip, hip hurrah!
And I took the first chance to ask what it meant,
Of the people who shouted, what was their intent,
When an elderly lady soon gave me the cue,
Of what was the matter and what was to do.
Six great millocrats, call them Whigs if you will,
The gods of our labour in workshop and mill:
Have all turned their colours from Yellow to Blue,
Which has caused this commotion the city all through.
Led on by the nose, like a bull in a band,
See how all the "So be I's" follow so grand,
The fag and the artist, the plebian also,
Have now chang'd their colour from yellow to blue.
There's twenty-eight thousand true "So be I's" here,
And there's not a Liberal amongst them I'll swear,
For the millocrats chieftains proclaimed it they say,
That all must turn Tories on this very day.
So upon the procession, I did my eyes fix,
Reviewing and skewing this wonderful six;
They wore blue ribands so grand in their coats,
Singing "So be I" joskins come give us your votes.
The "So be I's" exerted each nerve and limb,
To follow their leaders and join in the swim;
And I plainly could see, so I thought in my dream,
That the way through the world is to follow the stream.
For the faces of parsons were lit up so bright,
And the doctors they smiled with the greatest delight;
And a lawyer he vowed that he'd have a Blue gown,
For he'd been long enough a black Liberal clown.
Methought the Ranters, and Methodies too,
Independents and Quakers, and Baptists, were blue;
And as I looked round me, lo! what did I see,
A batch of Teetotallers had got on the spree.
But what I considered the best of the sport,
Took place in front of the old County Court;
The Mayor and Ex-Mayor were dancing a jig,
With the County Court Judge in his gown and his wig.
Methought that the Draper and Hatter filed in,
Along with the Grocer, his nearest of kin;
And I caught the Co-oper just in the neck,
In his hand were his divi. and new silver check.
Methought as I walked I sprang up so high,
That I really found out I was able to fly;
So backwards and forwards methought that I flew,
To the clubs of the town which I found were all Blue.
Till somehow or other, I got quite astray,
And over Cliffe Castle I winged my way,
Thinks I, there's some Foreign "So be I" geese
Have crossed o'er the Channel from Paris or Nice.
From thence I took wing, as blithe as a lark,
And crossed o'er the town to Jim Collingham's Park;
But ere I arrived at the end of my route,
A lightning conductor caught the tail of my coat.
I hung there suspended high up in the air,
Looking down on the mob in the wildest despair,
Imploring the "So be I's" to get me relief;
But they shouted "Stop there, you Liberal thief!"
I called on the de'il and invoked the skies,
To curse and set fire to all "So be I's;"
When all of a sudden I scratched at my head,
Awoke from my dream--found myself snug in bed.
[The end]
Bill o'th' Hoylus End's poem: City Of "So Be I's" (a Dream)
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