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Title: St. Jerome On Earth [First Visit]
Author: Thomas Moore [
More Titles by Moore]
1832.
As St. Jerome who died some ages ago,
Was sitting one day in the shades below,
"I've heard much of English bishops," quoth he,
"And shall now take a trip to earth to see
"How far they agree in their lives and ways
"With our good old bishops of ancient days."
He had learned--but learned without misgivings--
Their love for good living and eke good livings;
Not knowing (as ne'er having taken degrees)
That good _living_ means claret and fricassees,
While its plural means simply--pluralities.
"From all I hear," said the innocent man,
"They are quite on the good old primitive plan.
"For wealth and pomp they little can care,
"As they all say _'No'_ to the Episcopal chair;
"And their vestal virtue it well denotes
"That they all, good men, wear petticoats."
Thus saying, post-haste to earth he hurries,
And knocks at the Archbishop of Canterbury's.
The door was oped by a lackey in lace,
Saying, "What's your business with his Grace?"
"His Grace!" quoth Jerome--for posed was he,
Not knowing what _sort_ this Grace could be;
Whether Grace _preventing_, Grace _particular_,
Grace of that breed called _Quinquarticular_--[1]
In short he rummaged his holy mind
The exact description of Grace to find,
Which thus could represented be
By a footman in full livery.
At last, out loud in a laugh he broke,
(For dearly the good saint loved his joke)[2]
And said--surveying, as sly he spoke,
The costly palace from roof to base--
"Well, it isn't, at least, a _saving_ Grace!"
"Umph!" said the lackey, a man of few words,
"The Archbishop is gone to the House of Lords."
"To the House of the Lord, you mean, my son,
"For in _my_ time at least there was but one;
Unless such many-_fold_ priests as these
"Seek, even in their LORD, pluralities!"[3]
"No time for gab," quoth the man in lace:
Then slamming the door in St. Jerome's face
With a curse to the single knockers all
Went to finish his port in the servants' hall,
And propose a toast (humanely meant
To include even Curates in its extent)
"To all as _serves_ the Establishment."
NOTES;
[1] So called from the proceedings of the Synod of Dort.
[2] Witness his well known pun on the name of his adversary Vigilantius, whom he calls facetiously Dormitantius.
[3] The suspicion attached to some of the early Fathers of being Arians in their doctrine would appear to derive some confirmation, from this passage.
[The end]
Thomas Moore's poem: St. Jerome On Earth [First Visit]
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