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Title: Ode To A Hat
Author: Thomas Moore [
More Titles by Moore]
--_altum aedificat caput_."
JUVENAL
1826.
Hail, reverent Hat!--sublime mid all
The minor felts that round thee grovel;--
Thou that the Gods "a Delta" call
While meaner mortals call the "shovel."
When on thy shape (like pyramid,
Cut horizontally in two)[1]
I raptured gaze, what dreams unbid
Of stalls and mitres bless my view!
That brim of brims so sleekly good--
Not flapt, like dull Wesleyans', down,
But looking (as all churchmen's should)
Devoutly upward--towards the _crown_.
Gods! when I gaze upon that brim,
So redolent of Church all over,
What swarms of Tithes in vision dim,--
Some-pig-tailed, some like cherubim,
With ducklings' wings--around it hover!
Tenths of all dead and living things,
That Nature into being brings,
From calves and corn to chitterlings.
Say, holy Hat, that hast, of cocks,
The very cock most orthodox.
To _which_ of all the well-fed throng
Of Zion,[2] joy'st thou to belong?
Thou'rt _not_ Sir Harcourt Lees's--no-
For hats grow like the heads that wear 'em:
And hats, on heads like his, would grow
Particularly _harum-scarum_.
Who knows but thou mayst deck the pate
Of that famed Doctor Ad-mth-te,
(The reverend rat, whom we saw stand
On his hind-legs in Westmoreland,)
Who changed so quick from _blue_ to _yellow_,
And would from _yellow_ back to _blue_,
And back again, convenient fellow,
If 'twere his interest so to do.
Or haply smartest of triangles,
Thou art the hat of Doctor Owen;
The hat that, to his vestry wrangles,
That venerable priest doth go in,--
And then and there amid the stare
Of all St. Olave's, takes the chair
And quotes with phiz right orthodox
The example of his reverend brothers,
To prove that priests all fleece their flocks
And _he_ must fleece as well as others.
Blest Hat! (whoe'er thy lord may be)
Thus low I take off mine to thee,
The homage of a layman's _castor_,
To the spruce _delta_ of his pastor.
Oh mayst thou be, as thou proceedest,
Still smarter cockt, still brusht the brighter,
Till, bowing all the way, thou leadest
Thy sleek possessor to a mitre!
NOTES:
[1] So described by a Reverend Historian of the Church:--"A Delta hat like the horizontal section of a pyramid."--GRANT'S "History of the English Church."
[2] Archbishop Magee affectionately calls the Church Establishment of Ireland "the little Zion."
[The end]
Thomas Moore's poem: Ode To A Hat
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