CHARACTERS _Board of Education_.
_Three Would-Be Teachers_.
_Chorus by Board_:
Now please don't waste
Your time and ours
By pleas all based
On mental powers.
She seems to us
The proper stuff
Who has a hus-
Band bad enough.
All other pleas appear to us
Excessively superfluous.
_1st Teacher_:
My husband is not really bad----
_Board_:
How very sad, how very sad!
_1st Teacher_:
He's good, but hear my one excuse----
_Board_:
Oh, what's the use, oh, what's the use?
_1st Teacher_:
Last winter in a railroad wreck
He lost an arm and broke his neck.
He's doomed, but lingers day by day.
_Board_:
Her husband's doomed! Hurray! hurray!
_2nd Teacher_:
My husband's kind and healthy, too----
_Board_:
Why, then, of course, you will not do.
_2nd Teacher_:
Just hear me out. You'll find you're wrong.
It's true his body's good and strong;
But, ah, his wits are all astray.
_Board_:
Her husband's mad. Hip, hip, hurray!
_3rd Teacher_:
My husband's wise and well--the creature!
_Board_:
Then you can never be a teacher.
_3rd Teacher_:
Wait. For I led him such a life
He could not stand me as a wife;
Last Michaelmas, he ran away.
_Board_:
Her husband hates her, Hip, hurray!
_Chorus by Board_:
Now we have found
Without a doubt,
By process sound
And well thought out,
Each candidate
Is fit in truth
To educate
The mind of youth.
No teacher need apply to us
Whose married life's harmonious.
(_Curtain_.)
