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_ I did as I was bid, and in fear and trembling felt myself guided over
the edge of the stone. I sprawled my legs out, but could touch
nothing.
"I am going to fall!" I gasped.
"Nay, let thyself go, and trust to me," answered Ayesha.
Now, if the position is considered, it will be easily understood that
this was a greater demand upon my confidence than was justified by my
knowledge of Ayesha's character. For all I knew she might be in the
very act of consigning me to a horrible doom. But in life we sometimes
have to lay our faith upon strange altars, and so it was now.
"Let thyself go!" she cried, and, having no choice, I did.
I felt myself slide a pace or two down the sloping surface of the
rock, and then pass into the air, and the thought flashed through my
brain that I was lost. But no! In another instant my feet struck
against a rocky floor, and I felt that I was standing upon something
solid, and out of reach of the wind, which I could hear singing away
overhead. As I stood there thanking Heaven for these small mercies,
there was a slip and a scuffle, and down came Leo alongside of me.
"Hulloa, old fellow!" he called out, "are you there? This is getting
interesting, is it not?"
Just then, with a terrific yell, Job arrived right on the top of us,
knocking us both down. By the time we had struggled to our feet again
Ayesha was standing among us, and bidding us light the lamps, which
fortunately remained uninjured, as also did the spare jar of oil.
I got out my box of wax matches, and they struck as merrily, there, in
that awful place, as they could have done in a London drawing-room.
In a couple of minutes both the lamps were alight and revealed a
curious scene. We were huddled together in a rocky chamber, some ten
feet square, and scared enough we looked; that is, except Ayesha, who
was standing calmly with her arms folded, and waiting for the lamps to
burn up. The chamber appeared to be partly natural, and partly
hollowed out of the top of the cone. The roof of the natural part was
formed of the swinging stone, and that of the back part of the
chamber, which sloped downwards, was hewn from the live rock. For the
rest, the place was warm and dry--a perfect haven of rest compared to
the giddy pinnacle above, and the quivering spur that shot out to meet
it in mid-air.
"So!" said /She/, "safely have we come, though once I feared that the
rocking stone would fall with you, and precipitate you into the
bottomless depths beneath, for I do believe that the cleft goeth down
to the very womb of the world. The rock whereon the stone resteth hath
crumbled beneath the swinging weight. And now that he," nodding
towards Job, who was sitting on the floor, feebly wiping his forehead
with a red cotton pocket-handkerchief, "whom they rightly call the
'Pig,' for as a pig is he stupid, hath let fall the plank, it will not
be easy to return across the gulf, and to that end must I make a plan.
But now rest a while, and look upon this place. What think ye that it
is?"
"We know not," I answered.
"Wouldst thou believe, oh Holly, that once a man did choose this airy
nest for a daily habitation, and did here endure for many years;
leaving it only but one day in every twelve to seek food and water and
oil that the people brought, more than he could carry, and laid as an
offering in the mouth of the tunnel through which we passed hither?"
We looked up wonderingly, and she continued--
"Yet so it was. There was a man--Noot, he named himself--who, though
he lived in the latter days, had of the wisdom of the sons of Kôr. A
hermit was he, and a philosopher, and greatly skilled in the secrets
of Nature, and he it was who discovered the Fire that I shall show
you, which is Nature's blood and life, and also that he who bathed
therein, and breathed thereof, should live while Nature lives. But
like unto thee, oh Holly, this man, Noot, would not turn his knowledge
to account. 'Ill,' he said, 'was it for man to live, for man was born
to die.' Therefore did he tell his secret to none, and therefore did
he come and live here, where the seeker after Life must pass, and was
revered of the Amahagger of the day as holy, and a hermit. And when
first I came to this country--knowest thou how I came, Kallikrates?
Another time I will tell thee, for it is a strange tale--I heard of
this philosopher, and waited for him when he came to fetch his food,
and returned with him hither, though greatly did I fear to tread the
gulf. Then did I beguile him with my beauty and my wit, and flatter
him with my tongue, so that he led me down and showed me the Fire, and
told me the secrets of the Fire, but he would not suffer me to step
therein, and, fearing lest he should slay me, I refrained, knowing
that the man was very old, and soon would die. And I returned, having
learned from him all that he knew of the wonderful Spirit of the
World, and that was much, for the man was wise and very ancient, and
by purity and abstinence, and the contemplations of his innocent mind,
had worn thin the veil between that which we see and the great
invisible truths, the whisper of whose wings at times we hear as they
sweep through the gross air of the world. Then--it was but a very few
days after, I met thee, my Kallikrates, who hadst wandered hither with
the beautiful Egyptian Amenartas, and I learned to love for the first
and last time, once and for ever, so that it entered into my mind to
come hither with thee, and receive the gift of Life for thee and me.
Therefore came we, with that Egyptian who would not be left behind,
and, behold, we found the old man Noot lying but newly dead. /There/
he lay, and his white beard covered him like a garment," and she
pointed to a spot near where I was sitting; "but surely he hath long
since crumbled into dust, and the wind hath borne his ashes hence."
Here I put out my hand and felt in the dust, and presently my fingers
touched something. It was a human tooth, very yellow, but sound. I
held it up and showed it to Ayesha, who laughed.
"Yes," she said, "it is his without a doubt. Behold what remaineth of
Noot, and the wisdom of Noot--one little tooth! And yet that man had
all life at his command, and for his conscience' sake would have none
of it. Well, he lay there newly dead, and we descended whither I shall
lead you, and then, gathering up all my courage, and courting death
that I might perchance win so glorious a crown of life, I stepped into
the flames, and behold! life such as ye can never know until ye feel
it also, flowed into me, and I came forth undying, and lovely beyond
imagining. Then did I stretch out mine arms to thee, Kallikrates, and
bid thee take thine immortal bride, and behold, as I spoke, thou,
blinded by my beauty, didst turn from me, and throw thine arms about
the neck of Amenartas. And then a great fury filled me, and made me
mad, and I seized the javelin that thou didst bear, and stabbed thee,
so that there, at my very feet, in the place of Life, thou didst groan
and go down into death. I knew not then that I had strength to slay
with mine eyes and by the power of my will, therefore in my madness
slew I with the javelin.[*]
[*] It will be observed that Ayesha's account of the death of
Kallikrates differs materially from that written on the potsherd
by Amenartas. The writing on the sherd says, "Then in her rage did
she smite him /by her magic/, and he died." We never ascertained
which was the correct version, but it will be remembered that the
body of Kallikrates had a spear-wound in the breast, which seems
conclusive, unless, indeed, it was inflicted after death. Another
thing that we never ascertained was /how/ the two women--/She/
and the Egyptian Amenartas--were able to bear the corpse of the
man they both loved across the dread gulf and along the shaking
spur. What a spectacle the two distracted creatures must have
presented in their grief and loveliness as they toiled along that
awful place with the dead man between them! Probably however the
passage was easier then.--L. H. H.
"And when thou wast dead, ah! I wept, because I was undying and thou
wast dead. I wept there in the place of Life so that had I been mortal
any more my heart had surely broken. And she, the swart Egyptian--she
cursed me by her gods. By Osiris did she curse me and by Isis, by
Nephthys and by Anubis, by Sekhet, the cat-headed, and by Set, calling
down evil on me, evil and everlasting desolation. Ah! I can see her
dark face now lowering o'er me like a storm, but she could not hurt
me, and I--I know not if I could hurt her. I did not try; it was
naught to me then; so together we bore thee hence. And afterwards I
sent her--the Egyptian--away through the swamps, and it seems that she
lived to bear a son and to write the tale that should lead thee, her
husband, back to me, her rival and thy murderess.
"Such is the tale, my love, and now is the hour at hand that shall set
a crown upon it. Like all things on the earth, it is compounded of
evil and of good--more of evil than of good, perchance; and writ in
letters of blood. It is the truth; naught have I hidden from thee,
Kallikrates. And now one thing before the final moment of thy trial.
We go down into the presence of Death, for Life and Death are very
near together, and--who knoweth?--that might happen which should
separate us for another space of waiting. I am but a woman, and no
prophetess, and I cannot read the future. But this I know--for I
learned it from the lips of the wise man Noot--that my life is but
prolonged and made more bright. It cannot live for aye. Therefore,
before we go, tell me, oh Kallikrates, that of a truth thou dost
forgive me, and dost love me from thy heart. See, Kallikrates: much
evil have I done--perchance it was evil but two nights ago to strike
that girl who loved thee cold in death--but she disobeyed me and
angered me, prophesying misfortune to me, and I smote. Be careful when
power comes to thee also, lest thou too shouldst smite in thine anger
or thy jealousy, for unconquerable strength is a sore weapon in the
hands of erring man. Yea, I have sinned--out of the bitterness born of
a great love have I sinned--but yet do I know the good from the evil,
nor is my heart altogether hardened. Thy love, Kallikrates, shall be
the gate of my redemption, even as aforetime my passion was the path
down which I ran to evil. For deep love unsatisfied is the hell of
noble hearts and a portion of the accursed, but love that is mirrored
back more perfect from the soul of our desired doth fashion wings to
lift us above ourselves, and makes us what we might be. Therefore,
Kallikrates, take me by the hand, and lift my veil with no more fear
than though I were some peasant girl, and not the wisest and most
beauteous woman in this wide world, and look me in the eyes, and tell
me that thou dost forgive me with all thine heart, and that will all
thine heart thou dost worship me."
She paused, and the strange tenderness in her voice seemed to hover
round us like a memory. I know that the sound of it moved me more even
than her words, it was so very human--so very womanly. Leo, too, was
strangely touched. Hitherto he had been fascinated against his better
judgment, something as a bird is fascinated by a snake, but now I
think that all this passed away, and he realised that he really loved
this strange and glorious creature, as, alas! I loved her also. At any
rate, I saw his eyes fill with tears, and he stepped swiftly to her
and undid the gauzy veil, and then took her by the hand, and, gazing
into her deep eyes, said aloud--
"Ayesha, I love thee with all my heart, and so far as forgiveness is
possible I forgive thee the death of Ustane. For the rest, it is
between thee and thy Maker; I know naught of it. I only know that I
love thee as I never loved before, and that I will cleave to thee to
the end."
"Now," answered Ayesha, with proud humility--"now when my lord doth
speak thus royally and give with so free a hand, it cannot become me
to lag behind in words, and be beggared of my generosity. Behold!" and
she took his hand and placed it upon her shapely head, and then bent
herself slowly down till one knee for an instant touched the ground--
"Behold! in token of submission do I bow me to my lord! Behold!" and
she kissed him on the lips, "in token of my wifely love do I kiss my
lord. Behold!" and she laid her hand upon his heart, "by the sin I
sinned, by my lonely centuries of waiting wherewith it was wiped out,
by the great love wherewith I love, and by the Spirit--the Eternal
Thing that doth beget all life, from whom it ebbs, to whom it doth
return again--I swear:--
"I swear, even in this most holy hour of completed Womanhood, that I
will abandon Evil and cherish Good. I swear that I will be ever guided
by thy voice in the straightest path of Duty. I swear that I will
eschew Ambition, and through all my length of endless days set Wisdom
over me as a guiding star to lead me unto Truth and a knowledge of the
Right. I swear also that I will honour and will cherish thee,
Kallikrates, who hast been swept by the wave of time back into my
arms, ay, till the very end, come it soon or late. I swear--nay, I
will swear no more, for what are words? Yet shalt thou learn that
Ayesha hath no false tongue.
"So I have sworn, and thou, my Holly, at witness to my oath. Here,
too, are we wed, my husband, with the gloom for bridal canopy--wed
till the end of all things; here do we write our marriage vows upon
the rushing winds which shall bear them up to heaven, and round and
continually round this rolling world.
"And for a bridal gift I crown thee with my beauty's starry crown, and
enduring life, and wisdom without measure, and wealth that none can
count. Behold! the great ones of the earth shall creep about thy feet,
and its fair women shall cover up their eyes because of the shining
glory of thy countenance, and its wise ones shall be abased before
thee. Thou shalt read the hearts of men as an open writing, and hither
and thither shalt thou lead them as thy pleasure listeth. Like that
old Sphinx of Egypt shalt thou sit aloft from age to age, and ever
shall they cry to thee to solve the riddle of thy greatness that doth
not pass away, and ever shalt thou mock them with thy silence!
"Behold! once more I kiss thee, and by that kiss I give to thee
dominion over sea and earth, over the peasant in his hovel, over the
monarch in his palace halls, and cities crowned with towers, and those
who breathe therein. Where'er the sun shakes out his spears, and the
lonesome waters mirror up the moon, where'er storms roll, and Heaven's
painted bows arch in the sky--from the pure North clad in snows,
across the middle spaces of the world, to where the amorous South,
lying like a bride upon her blue couch of seas, breathes in sighs made
sweet with the odour of myrtles--there shall thy power pass and thy
dominion find a home. Nor sickness, nor icy-fingered fear, nor sorrow,
and pale waste of form and mind hovering ever o'er humanity, shall so
much as shadow thee with the shadow of their wings. As a God shalt
thou be, holding good and evil in the hollow of thy hand, and I, even
I, I humble myself before thee. Such is the power of Love, and such is
the bridal gift I give unto thee, Kallikrates, my Lord and Lord of
All.
"And now it is done; now for thee I loose my virgin zone; and come
storm, come shine, come good, come evil, come life, come death, it
never, never can be undone. For, of a truth, that which is, is, and,
being done, is done for aye, and cannot be altered. I have said--Let
us hence, that all things may be accomplished in their order;" and,
taking one of the lamps, she advanced towards the end of the chamber
that was roofed in by the swaying stone, where she halted.
We followed her, and perceived that in the wall of the cone there was
a stair, or, to be more accurate, that some projecting knobs of rock
had been so shaped as to form a good imitation of a stair. Down this
Ayesha began to climb, springing from step to step, like a chamois,
and after her we followed with less grace. When we had descended some
fifteen or sixteen steps we found that they ended in a tremendous
rocky slope, running first outwards and then inwards--like the slope
of an inverted cone, or tunnel. The slope was very steep, and often
precipitous, but it was nowhere impassable, and by the light of the
lamps we went down it with no great difficulty, though it was gloomy
work enough travelling on thus, no one of us knew whither, into the
dead heart of a volcano. As we went, however, I took the precaution of
noting our route as well as I could; and this was not so very
difficult, owing to the extraordinary and most fantastic shape of the
rocks that were strewn about, many of which in that dim light looked
more like the grim faces carven upon mediæval gargoyles than ordinary
boulders.
For a long time we travelled on thus, half an hour I should say, till,
after we had descended for many hundreds of feet, I perceived that we
were reaching the point of the inverted cone. In another minute we
were there, and found that at the very apex of the funnel was a
passage, so low and narrow that we had to stoop as we crept along it
in Indian file. After some fifty yards of this creeping, the passage
suddenly widened into a cave, so huge that we could see neither the
roof nor the sides. We only knew that it was a cave by the echo of our
tread and the perfect quiet of the heavy air. On we went for many
minutes in absolute awed silence, like lost souls in the depths of
Hades, Ayesha's white and ghost-like form flitting in front of us,
till once more the place ended in a passage which opened into a second
cavern much smaller than the first. Indeed, we could clearly make out
the arch and stony banks of this second cave, and, from their rent and
jagged appearance, discovered that, like the first long passage down
which we had passed through the cliff before we reached the quivering
spur, it had, to all appearance, been torn in the bowels of the rock
by the terrific force of some explosive gas. At length this cave ended
in a third passage, through which gleamed a faint glow of light.
I heard Ayesha give a sigh of relief as this light dawned upon us.
"It is well," she said; "prepare to enter the very womb of the Earth,
wherein she doth conceive the Life that ye see brought forth in man
and beast--ay, and in every tree and flower."
Swiftly she sped along, and after her we stumbled as best we might,
our hearts filled like a cup with mingled dread and curiosity. What
were we about to see? We passed down the tunnel; stronger and stronger
the light beamed, reaching us in great flashes like the rays from a
lighthouse, as one by one they are thrown wide upon the darkness of
the waters. Nor was this all, for with the flashes came a soul-shaking
sound like that of thunder and of crashing trees. Now we were through
it, and--oh heavens!
We stood in a third cavern, some fifty feet in length by perhaps as
great a height, and thirty wide. It was carpeted with fine white sand,
and its walls had been worn smooth by the action of I know not what.
The cavern was not dark like the others, it was filled with a soft
glow of rose-coloured light, more beautiful to look on than anything
that can be conceived. But at first we saw no flashes, and heard no
more of the thunderous sound. Presently, however, as we stood in
amaze, gazing at the marvellous sight, and wondering whence the rosy
radiance flowed, a dread and beautiful thing happened. Across the far
end of the cavern, with a grinding and crashing noise--a noise so
dreadful and awe-inspiring that we all trembled, and Job actually sank
to his knees--there flamed out an awful cloud or pillar of fire, like
a rainbow many-coloured, and like the lightning bright. For a space,
perhaps forty seconds, it flamed and roared thus, turning slowly round
and round, and then by degrees the terrible noise ceased, and with the
fire it passed away--I know not where--leaving behind it the same rosy
glow that we had first seen.
"Draw near, draw near!" cried Ayesha, with a voice of thrilling
exultation. "Behold the very Fountain and Heart of Life as it beats in
the bosom of the great world. Behold the substance from which all
things draw their energy, the bright Spirit of the Globe, without
which it cannot live, but must grow cold and dead as the dead moon.
Draw near, and wash you in the living flames, and take their virtue
into your poor frames in all its virgin strength--not as it now feebly
glows within your bosoms, filtered thereto through all the fine
strainers of a thousand intermediate lives, but as it is here in the
very fount and seat of earthly Being."
We followed her through the rosy glow up to the head of the cave, till
at last we stood before the spot where the great pulse beat and the
great flame passed. And as we went we became sensible of a wild and
splendid exhilaration, of a glorious sense of such a fierce intensity
of Life that the most buoyant moments of our strength seemed flat and
tame and feeble beside it. It was the mere effluvium of the flame, the
subtle ether that it cast off as it passed, working on us, and making
us feel strong as giants and swift as eagles.
We reached the head of the cave, and gazed at each other in the
glorious glow, and laughed aloud--even Job laughed, and he had not
laughed for a week--in the lightness of our hearts and the divine
intoxication of our brains. I know that I felt as though all the
varied genius of which the human intellect is capable had descended
upon me. I could have spoken in blank verse of Shakesperian beauty,
all sorts of great ideas flashed through my mind; it was as though the
bonds of my flesh had been loosened and left the spirit free to soar
to the empyrean of its native power. The sensations that poured in
upon me are indescribable. I seemed to live more keenly, to reach to a
higher joy, and sip the goblet of a subtler thought than ever it had
been my lot to do before. I was another and most glorified self, and
all the avenues of the Possible were for a space laid open to the
footsteps of the Real.
Then, suddenly, whilst I rejoiced in this splendid vigour of a new-
found self, from far, far away there came a dreadful muttering noise,
that grew and grew to a crash and a roar, which combined in itself all
that is terrible and yet splendid in the possibilities of sound.
Nearer it came, and nearer yet, till it was close upon us, rolling
down like all the thunder-wheels of heaven behind the horses of the
lightning. On it came, and with it came the glorious blinding cloud of
many-coloured light, and stood before us for a space, turning, as it
seemed to us, slowly round and round, and then, accompanied by its
attendant pomp of sound, passed away I know not whither.
So astonishing was the wondrous sight that one and all of us, save
/She/, who stood up and stretched her hands towards the fire, sank
down before it, and hid our faces in the sand.
When it was gone, Ayesha spoke.
"Now, Kallikrates," she said, "the mighty moment is at hand. When the
great flame comes again thou must stand in it. First throw aside thy
garments, for it will burn them, though thee it will not hurt. Thou
must stand in the flame while thy senses will endure, and when it
embraces thee suck the fire down into thy very heart, and let it leap
and play around thy every part, so that thou lose no moiety of its
virtue. Hearest thou me, Kallikrates?"
"I hear thee, Ayesha," answered Leo, "but, of a truth--I am no coward
--but I doubt me of that raging flame. How know I that it will not
utterly destroy me, so that I lose myself and lose thee also?
Nevertheless will I do it," he added.
Ayesha thought for a minute, and then said--
"It is not wonderful that thou shouldst doubt. Tell me, Kallikrates:
if thou seest me stand in the flame and come forth unharmed, wilt thou
enter also?"
"Yes," he answered, "I will enter even if it slay me. I have said that
I will enter now."
"And that will I also," I cried.
"What, my Holly!" she laughed aloud; "methought that thou wouldst
naught of length of days. Why, how is this?"
"Nay, I know not," I answered, "but there is that in my heart that
calleth me to taste of the flame and live."
"It is well," she said. "Thou art not altogether lost in folly. See
now, I will for the second time bathe me in this living bath. Fain
would I add to my beauty and my length of days if that be possible. If
it be not possible, at the least it cannot harm me.
"Also," she continued, after a momentary pause, "is there another and
a deeper cause why I would once again dip me in the flame. When first
I tasted of its virtue full was my heart of passion and of hatred of
that Egyptian Amenartas, and therefore, despite my strivings to be rid
thereof, have passion and hatred been stamped upon my soul from that
sad hour to this. But now it is otherwise. Now is my mood a happy
mood, and filled am I with the purest part of thought, and so would I
ever be. Therefore, Kallikrates, will I once more wash and make me
pure and clean, and yet more fit for thee. Therefore also, when thou
dost in turn stand in the fire, empty all thy heart of evil, and let
soft contentment hold the balance of thy mind. Shake loose thy
spirit's wings, and take thy stand upon the utter verge of holy
contemplation; ay, dream upon thy mother's kiss, and turn thee towards
the vision of the highest good that hath ever swept on silver wings
across the silence of thy dreams. For from the germ of what thou art
in that dread moment shall grow the fruit of what thou shalt be for
all unreckoned time.
"Now prepare thee, prepare! even as though thy last hour were at hand,
and thou wast to cross to the Land of Shadows, and not through the
Gates of Glory into the realms of Life made beautiful. Prepare, I
say!" _
Read next: CHAPTER XXVI - WHAT WE SAW
Read previous: CHAPTER XXIV - WALKING THE PLANK
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