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_ ACT III - SCENE III
SCENE III. MR. FRIENDLY'S House.
Enter HARRIET.
[Knocking at the door.]
What an incessant knocking! Mr. Friendly's family are out, and between their company and my own, I expect to be engaged all day: I am fairly tired of these morning visits;--they are fashionable, and, therefore, agreeable, to those who can make propriety and happiness subservient to custom and false politeness; but, for my part--
[Enter SERVANT.]
SERVANT.
Miss Airy is waiting in her carriage, madam.
HARRIET.
Admit her.
[Exit SERVANT.]
She is the only one I wish to see this morning.
[Enter MARIA.]
MARIA.
My dear Harriet, I am rejoic'd to find you at home;--I this minute heard something, which I knew would make you happy; and that, I trust, is a good excuse for troubling you twice a day with my company.
HARRIET.
You wrong my friendship, Maria, if you think you can oblige me too often with your desirable company; 'tis true I was wishing for a little cessation of that torrent of formal visitors which is pouring in from morning till night; but far be it from Harriet to reckon her Maria among that number.
MARIA.
You are very good, my dear; but you must give me leave to be
a little jealous that I am not the only one who is favoured
with such a preference.
HARRIET.
Indeed, I do not know any one I have a particular desire
to see this morning, except yourself.
MARIA.
You forget Mr. Loveyet, when you say so.
HARRIET.
Poh! I am not talking of men.
MARIA.
No; but it is very probable you are thinking of a man.
HARRIET.
And pray what reason have you to think,
that my thoughts run upon such an improper subject?
MARIA.
Improper subject,--ha, ha, ha. So my very discreet, prudish little Harriet never lets man enter into her head; tho' it is pretty notorious somebody has enter'd into her heart long ago.
HARRIET.
Your discernment must be very subtle, if you know all that is in my heart.
MARIA.
I only judge of your heart, by your tongue; and the abundance of the former is generally inferred from the speech of the latter.--Yes, yes--that constant, hypocritical heart of yours is now throbbing with love, hope, curiosity, and--a thousand speechless sensations, the improper subject of which, I do not hesitate to declare, is odious man; and that man, the accomplished Mr. Loveyet.
HARRIET.
Pshaw,--how can you tantalize one so?
MARIA.
Well, well, it shall not be serv'd like Tantalus any more: he was doom'd to behold; and, beholding, to wish and languish for the tempting draught, in vain: but a better doom awaits the happy Harriet;--what she desires is not thus interdicted, but will soon be obtain'd, and--
HARRIET.
How strangely you talk, Maria.
MARIA.
Well, I will not keep you in suspense any longer. Old Mr. Loveyet has received a letter from his son, signifying his intention to leave the West-Indies shortly after its date, so you may expect to see him very soon. Then hey for a wedding, &c.
HARRIET.
Ha, ha; you are a droll girl.
MARIA.
But my time is precious; I am just going to the widow Affable's:--about twelve months ago she paid me a visit, when, agreeably to the form in such cases made and provided, she beg'd I would be more sociable, and she would take it so kindly of me:--accordingly I shall step in en passant, to shew her my sociability and kindness, which I shall, perhaps, repeat at the end of another year.
HARRIET.
How can you be so cruel? The pleasure I experience in your society, makes me regret that any one should be deprived of it.
MARIA.
That is very strange:--I should imagine, if you priz'd my company so much, you would wish me to withhold it from others; because, the more I bless them with my presence, the less will come to your share, you know, my dear;--nor is it easy to conceive how you could be so fond of my sweet person, without being jealous at the partiality of others;--but, after all, good people, they say, are scarce; and my humble admirers shall find the saying verified in me; because they are not fully sensible of my superior value; but, since you prove the contrary, by extolling my conversation and friendship so much, I likewise shall observe a contrary conduct, and indulge you with a tete-a-tete frequently, my dear.--But I have fifty places to call at yet:--I am to wait on Miss Nancy Startup, Miss Biddy Dresswise, Miss Gaudy, Miss Titterwell, Mrs. Furbelow, Mrs. Neverhome, Mrs--et caetera, et caetera; which visits I mean to pay with all the formality and fashionable shortness in my power: from thence I shall proceed to Mademoiselle Mincit, the milliner; from thence to two or three score of shops in William-Street, to buy a prodigious number of important--
HARRIET.
Trifles.
MARIA.
You are right, my dear;--as I live, I would not be one of those officious "Nothing else, Ma'ms?" for all the goods from the North Church to Maiden-Lane.--Adieu,--I leave you to meditate on what I have told you.
HARRIET.
Farewell.
[Exit MARIA.]
Now Maria is gone, I will see no more company.--If anything can be an excuse for a falsehood, the present occasion offers a very good one:--I feel my mind pretty much at ease, and I do not choose to have it disturbed by the impertinence of pretended friends.--Who is there?
[Enter SERVANT.]
SERVANT.
Madam.
HARRIET.
Whoever calls to see me to-day, remember I am not at home.
SERVANT.
Mr. Worthnought is here now, Madam; must I deny you to him?
HARRIET.
Undoubtedly.
[Exit SERVANT.]
I am disgusted with the repetition of that coxcomb's nonsense.
--[Sighs.]
--I wish Charles was here:--In spite of the false delicacy of that tyrant, Custom, which forbids us to speak the exquisite effusions of a susceptible heart, I can now speak boldly, while that heart dictates to the willing tongue what complacence it feels at the prospect of its Charles's return.
[Exit.] _
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