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The First Man, a play by Eugene O'Neill |
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Act 3 |
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_ ACT III SCENE--Same as Act II. As the curtain rises, JAYSON is discovered sitting in an armchair by the fireplace, in which a log fire is burning fitfully. He is staring into the flames, a strained, expectant expression on his face. It is about three o'clock in the morning. There is no light but that furnished by the fire which fills the room with shifting shadows. The door in the rear is opened and RICHARD appears, his face harried by the stress of unusual emotion. Through the opened doorway, a low, muffled moan of anguish sounds from the upper part of the house. JAYSON and RICHARD both shudder. The latter closes the door behind him quickly as if anxious to shut out the noise.
Well? RICHARD No change, sir. [Then, as if remembering himself, comes to God, Dad, I can't stand her moaning and screaming! It's got my nerves shot to pieces. I thought I was hardened. I've heard them out in No Man's Land--dying by inches--when you couldn't get to them or help--but this is worse--a million times! After all, that was war--and they were men-- JAYSON RICHARD JAYSON Where is Curt? RICHARD Still out in the garden, JAYSON RICHARD JAYSON RICHARD JAYSON RICHARD And yet he keeps asking everyone to send for Bigelow- [He laughs bitterly.] JAYSON [Agitatedly.] RICHARD [With pitying scorn.] JAYSON [With a sigh.] [After a pause.] RICHARD [There is a pause. Then the door in rear is opened and LILY appears. She is pale and agitated. Leaving the door open behind her she comes forward and flings herself on the lounge.] JAYSON Well? LILY Isn't everything gloomy enough? [Sits down.] [Trying to mask her agitation by a pretense at flippancy.] RICHARD Second the motion. JAYSON You're young idiots. Keep your blasphemous nonsense to yourself, Lily! LILY I can't stand it. Take me home, Dick, won't you? We're doing no RICHARD [ESTHER and EMILY enter, followed by JOHN.] LILY I'll never marry or have a child! Never, never! ESTHER LILY RICHARD Are you coming or not? LILY Yes--wait--here I am. [She pushes past the others and follows RICHARD out rear. ESTHER I thought I went through something when mine were born--but this is too awful. EMILY [After a pause--meaningly.] ESTHER EMILY ESTHER EMILY ESTHER JAYSON How is Curt? EMILY [He jerks up his head and stares at her, blinking JOHN Don't forget I have to be at the bank in the morning. JAYSON I have to be at the bank, too--and you don't notice me sleeping. Tell me about Curt. You just left him, didn't you? JOHN Yes, and I've been walking around that damned garden half the night watching over him. Isn't that enough to wear anyone out? I can feel I've got a terrible cold coming on-- ESTHER For goodness sake, don't you start to pity yourself! JOHN I'm not. I think I've showed my willingness to do everything I could. If Curt was only the least bit grateful! He isn't. He hates us all and wishes we were out of his home. I would have left long ago if I didn't want to do my part in saving the family name from disgrace. JAYSON Has he quieted down, that's what I want to know? JOHN Not the least bit. He's out of his head--and I'd be out JAYSON Keep that to yourself! Remember you have no proof. EMILY The whole town knows it, anyway; I'm sure they must. JAYSON [After a pause.] Where's Aunt Elizabeth? We'll have to keep an eye on her, too, or she's quite liable to blurt out the whole business before all comers. ESTHER [The door in the rear is opened and MARK SHEFFIELD enters. JAYSON Well, Mark? Where's Curt? SHEFFIELD Inside. I think he'll be with us in a minute. [With a scornful smile.] [The others gasp.] JAYSON For God's sake, couldn't you stop him? SHEFFIELD JAYSON Then he--Bigelow will be here soon? SHEFFIELD It depends on his sense of decency. As he seems lacking JOHN Then I, for one, will go. Come, Emily. Since Curt seems bound to disgrace everyone concerned, I want it thoroughly understood that we wash our hands of the whole disgraceful affair. EMILY Go if you want to! I won't! [Then with a sacrificing air.] JAYSON Sit down. Wash your hands indeed! SHEFFIELD [JOHN sits down abruptly. All stiffen into stony attitudes. The door is opened and CURT enters. He is incredibly drawn and haggard, a tortured, bewildered expression in his eyes. His hair is dishevelled, his boots caked with mud. He stands at the door staring from one to the other of his family with a wild, contemptuous scorn and mutters.] CURTIS [Then bewilderedly.] [Wildly.] [A scream of MARTHA's is heard through the doorway. CURT shudders violently, slams the door to with a crash, putting his shoulders against it as if to bar out the sound inexorably--in anguish.] God, why must she go through such agony? Why? Why? [He goes to the fireplace as MARK makes way for him, flings himself exhaustedly on a chair, his shoulders bowed, his face hidden in his hands. The others stare at him pityingly. There is a long silence. Then the two women whisper together, get up and tiptoe out of the room, motioning for the others to follow them. JOHN does so. SHEFFIELD starts to go, then notices the preoccupied JAYSON who is staring moodily into the fire.] SHEFFIELD [As JAYSON looks up--in a whisper.] JAYSON Curt. Remember I'm your father. CURTIS No, Dad. Leave me alone. JAYSON As you wish. [He starts to go.] CURTIS JAYSON Very well--if you insist. [He switches off the lights. He hesitates at the door uncertainly, then opens it and goes out. There is a pause. Then CURT lifts his head and peers about the room. Seeing he is alone he springs to his feet and begins to pace back and forth, his teeth clenched, his features working convulsively. Then, as if attracted by an irresistible impulse, he goes to the closed door and puts his ear to the crack. He evidently hears his wife's moans for he starts away--in agony.] CURTIS [He flings himself in the chair by the fireplace--hides his face in his hands and sobs bitterly. There is a ring from somewhere in the house. Soon after there is a knock at the door. CURTIS doesn't hear at first but when it is repeated he mutters huskily.] Come in. [BIGELOW enters. CURT looks up at him.] BIGELOW I got over as soon as I could. [As he sees CURT's face he starts and says sympathetically.] By Jove, old man, you look as though you'd been through hell! CURTIS I have. I am. BIGELOW Buck up! [Then anxiously.] CURTIS BIGELOW You're surely not worrying, are you? Martha is so strong CURTIS [After a pause.] BIGELOW I've guessed you thought that. That's why you haven't noticed --[Angrily.] And the infernal gossip--I'll admit I thought CURTIS [Bitterly.] BIGELOW [In spite of the closed door one of MARTHA's CURTIS She has been moaning like that hour after hour. BIGELOW Deuce take it, Curt, what's the matter with you? CURTIS I've changed, Big--I hardly know myself any more. BIGELOW CURTIS BIGELOW CURTIS Yes, certainly! Why not? Martha ought to be able to travel in a month or so. BIGELOW CURTIS Yes--I was forgetting the child, wasn't I? [Viciously.] --[Then catching himself with a groan.] BIGELOW Curt! CURTIS I can't help it--I've fought against it. But it's BIGELOW What, Curt? CURTIS BIGELOW Good God, you don't mean you hate--Martha? CURTIS Hate Martha? How dare you, you fool! I love Martha--love her with every miserable drop of blood in me--with all my life--all my soul! She is my whole world--everything! Hate Martha! God, man, have you gone crazy to say such a mad thing? [Savagely.] BIGELOW Curt! Don't you know you can't talk like that--now--when-- CURTIS It has made us both suffer torments--not only now--every day, BIGELOW Curt! Can't you realize how horrible-- CURTIS [With emphasis.] BIGELOW Shut up! You're not yourself. Come, think for a moment. What would Martha feel if she heard you going on this way? Why--it would kill her! CURTIS Oh, I know, I know! [After a pause.] She read it in my eyes. Yes, it's horrible, but when I saw her there suffering so frightfully--I couldn't keep it out of my eyes. I tried to force it back--for her sake--but I couldn't. I was holding her hands and her eyes searched mine with such a longing question in them--and she read only my hatred there, not my love for her. And she screamed and seemed to try to push me away. I wanted to kneel down and pray for forgiveness--to tell her it was only my love for her--that I couldn't help it. And then the doctors told me to leave--and now the door is locked against me --[He sobs.] BIGELOW This is only your damned imagination. They put you out because you were in their way, that's all. And as for Martha, she was probably suffering so much-- CURTIS BIGELOW You're raving, damn it! CURTIS It came home to her then--the undeniable truth. [With a groan.] Isn't it fiendish that I should be the one to add to her torture--in spite of myself--in spite of all my will to conceal it! She will never forgive me, never! And how can I forgive myself? BIGELOW For God's sake, don't think about it! It's absurd--ridiculous! CURTIS She's guessed it ever since that day when we quarreled--her birthday. Oh, you can have no idea of the misery there has been in our lives since then. You haven't seen or guessed the reason. No one has. It has been--the thought of IT. BIGELOW CURTIS For years we had welded our lives together so that we two were sufficient, each to each. There was no room for a third. And it was a fine, free life we had made--a life of new worlds, of discovery, of knowledge invaluable to mankind. Isn't such a life worth all the sacrifice it must entail? BIGELOW CURTIS No, it was her life, too--her work as well as mine. She had made the life, our life--the work, our work. Had she the right to repudiate what she had built because she suddenly has a fancy for a home, children, a miserable ease! I had thought I was her home, her children. I had tried to make my life worthy of being that to her. And I had failed. I was not enough. BIGELOW CURTIS BIGELOW CURTIS One day, when I was trying to imagine myself without her, and finding nothing but hopelessness--yet knowing I must go--a thought suddenly struck me--a horrible but fascinating possibility that had never occurred to me before. [With feverish intensity.] BIGELOW CURTIS BIGELOW Curt! CURTIS BIGELOW Damn it, man, do you know what you're saying? [Relentingly.] CURTIS BIGELOW Do you realize how contemptible this confession makes you out? [Angrily.] Why, if you had one trace of human kindness in you--one bit of unselfish love for your wife--one particle of pity for her suffering-- CURTIS I have--all the love and pity in the world for her! BIGELOW CURTIS She can be happy without me. [Intensely.] BIGELOW Curt, for God's sake, don't return to that! Why, good God, man--even now--while you're speaking--don't you realize what may be happening? And you can talk as if you were wishing-- CURTIS I can't help but wish it! BIGELOW For the love of God, if you have such thoughts, keep CURTIS [The door in the rear is opened and JAYSON enters, pale and unnerved. A succession of quick, piercing shrieks is heard before he can close the door behind him. Shuddering.] My God! My God! [With a fierce cry.] Will--this--never--end! JAYSON Sh-h-h, they say this is the crisis. [Puts his arm around CURT.] [He sits down in the chair BIGELOW has vacated, pointedly ignoring the latter. The door is opened again and EMILY, ESTHER, JOHN and SHEFFIELD file in quickly as if escaping from the cries of the woman upstairs. They are all greatly agitated. CURT groans, pressing his clenched fists against his ears. The two women sit on the lounge. MARK comes forward and stands by JAYSON'S chair, JOHN sits by the door as before. BIGELOW retreats behind CURT's chair, aware of their hostility. There is a long pause.] ESTHER She has stopped --[They all listen.] JAYSON Thank God, it's over at last. [The door is opened and MRS. DAVIDSON enters. MRS. DAVIDSON A son, Curt--a son. [With rapt fervor--falling on her knees.] CURTIS No! No! You lie! [They all cry out in fright and amazement: NURSE Mr. Jayson, your wife is asking for you. BIGELOW There! What did I tell you? Run, you chump! CURTIS Martha! Darling, I'm coming --[He rushes out after the NURSE.] BIGELOW Pardon me, please. [They shrink away from him.] EMILY Some people seem to have no sense of decency! BIGELOW No, I quite agree with you. [He goes out, shutting the door. They all gasp angrily.] JOHN JAYSON Do get up, Aunt Elizabeth! How ridiculous! [He raises her to her feet and leads her to a chair ESTHER So it's a boy. EMILY ESTHER JOHN EMILY ESTHER JOHN Curt is a blind simpleton--and that JAYSON Shhh! Suppose we were overheard! EMILY [While she is speaking MRS. D. has gotten up JAYSON Aunt Elizabeth, where are you going? MRS. D. I must see him again, the dear! [She goes out.] ESTHER I think I--come on, Emily. Let's go up and see-- EMILY JOHN ESTHER JAYSON Yes, yes. We must keep up appearances. [Getting to his feet.] --[They are all standing, hesitating, when the door in the rear is opened and the NURSE appears, supporting CURT. The latter is like a corpse. His face is petrified with grief, his body seems limp and half-paralyzed.] NURSE It's a wonder some of you wouldn't come up--here, [JAYSON and SHEFFIELD spring forward and lead CURT to a chair by the fire.] JAYSON Curt! Curt, my boy! What is it, son? EMILY Nurse! What is the matter? NURSE His wife is dead. [They are all still, stunned.] EMILY NURSE Oh, it's a fine, healthy baby--eleven pounds [She goes. The others all stand in silence.] ESTHER Oh, I'm so sorry I said--or thought SHEFFIELD De mortuis nil nisi bonum. JAYSON Curt! Curt! EMILY Hadn't the doctor better-- JAYSON CURTIS [Suddenly remembrance comes and a spasm of intolerable Martha! Gone! Dead! Oh! [He appeals wildly to the others.] --[He falters brokenly.] EMILY Oh! CURTIS But she loved me again--only me [Raging.] [Springing to his feet.] [As his father takes his arm--shaking him off.] [He strides out of the door in a frenzy of grief and rage. EMILY Well!
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