M

________________________________________________
_ A fool and his wife are soon parted. See Alimony.

=MAGAZINE= A receptacle for explosives, literary or mechanical.

* * * * *

=MAGNATE= One who can float capital in a considerable body of water. From Lat. magnus, great, and nator, to swim; a great swimmer.

* * * * *

=MAIDEN LADY= A term applied to an old maid by those who wish to avoid hurting her feelings.

* * * * *

=MALT= A humble grain which often gets into a ferment, cools off and becomes Stout in its old age.

* * * * *

=MAN= Something that "Goes first on four feet, then two feet, then three, but the more feet it goes on the weaker it be!"

* * * * *

=MAN-ABOUT-TOWN= One who is on speaking terms with the head waiter.

* * * * *

=MANICURE= The only woman who can beat a carpenter at soaking nails.

* * * * *

=MANNERS= A difficult symphony in the key of B natural.

* * * * *

=MARK= In Germany, twenty-three cents. In the United States, only Twain.

* * * * *

=MASCULINE= From Grk. maskos, girl, and eukolos, easy. Easy for the girls.

* * * * *

=MASSAGE= A touch, with intent to rub it in.

* * * * *

=MATRIMONY= A game for women, in which the unmarried half are trying to find a husband and the married half trying not to be found out by one. Both halves are eminently successful.

* * * * *

=MEAL= According to the Liquor Law, a minute bunch of crumbs entirely surrounded by booze.

* * * * *

=MEDIUM= A party with one ear in the grave but both hands on your wallet. "Hello, Central! Give me Heaven!"

* * * * *

=MELODEON= An alleged musical instrument, popular at home, but unpopular next door. From Eng. melody, and Latin, un, without. Warranted without melody.

* * * * *

=MENAGERIE= From Fr. melange, mixture, and Ger. riechen, to smell. A mixture of smells.

* * * * *

=MESSENGER BOY= From Eng. miss, to fail, and Lat. engeo, to arrive. One who fails to arrive.

* * * * *

=METER= The gas man's trysting place. "Meet her in the cellar!"

* * * * *

=MIND= No matter. =MATTER= Never mind.

* * * * *

=MINE= A hole in the ground owned by a liar.

* * * * *

=MINSTREL= A footlight foul that makes its nightly lay in every city.

* * * * *

=MIRACLE= A woman who won't talk.

* * * * *

=MIST= Generally, a small, light rain. =SCOTCH MIST= A cloudburst.

* * * * *

=MITTEN= Something a tender-hearted girl gives a young man when she knows she is going to make it chilly for him.

* * * * *

=MONEY= Society's vindication of vulgarity.

* * * * *

=MONOPOLY= A modern device for impoverishing others. From Grk. monux, swift-footed, and polloi, the people. A swift kick for the people.

* * * * *

=MOON= The only lighting monopoly that never made money.

* * * * *

=MORTGAGE= From Fr. mort, death, and Eng. gag, to choke. A lawyer's invention for choking property to death.

* * * * *

=MOSQUITO= A small insect designed by God to make us think better of flies.

* * * * *

=MOTH= An unfortunate acquaintance who is always in the hole. And the only ones who try to get him out are his enemies.

* * * * *

=MOUSE= The frequent cause of a rise in cotton.

All gone to 6's and 7's--Ladies' Footwear in Chicago. _

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