L

________________________________________________
_ Two heads are better than one--particularly on a Barrel of Money.

=LACE= Among women, lace means lesson; wherefore they combine art and thrift by lessening the waist.

* * * * *

=LACONIC= Shy on words. From Eng. lack, meaning want, and connection; want of connection.

* * * * *

=LAMP= A light.

=LAMPONED= To be lighted on.

* * * * *

=LARD= Fat.

=LARDER= A fattener.

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=LARK= A short, sweet spree enjoyed by night hawks. Also, an early rising singing-bird. (Dist. bet. "out on a lark," and "up with the lark," an impossible combination).

* * * * *

=LASSIE= One of the weaker sex.

=LASSITUDE= Slightly weaker.

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=LAUD= Praise for the Almighty.

=LAUDANUM= Prays for himself--after taking.

* * * * *

=LAUNDRY= A place where clothes are mangled.

* * * * *

=LAUGH= A peculiar contortion of the human countenance, voluntary or involuntary, superinduced by a concatenation of external circumstances, seen or heard, of a ridiculous, ludicrous, jocose, mirthful, funny, facetious or fanciful nature and accompanied by a cackle, chuckle, chortle, cachinnation, giggle gurgle, guffaw or roar.

* * * * *

=LAWYER= One who defends your estate against an enemy, in order to appropriate it to himself.

* * * * *

=LECTURE= An entertainment at which it costs but little to look intelligent.

* * * * *

=LEGISLATURE= From Lat. lego, to bring together, and latro, to bark or bluster; possibly from lex, law, and latens, unknown. Hence, a company of men brought together to bluster, or a company of law makers who know nothing about law.

* * * * *

=LEISURE= From Eng., lazy, and sure; assured laziness.

* * * * *

=LENT= A Church fast that is slow to go; or something loaned which is slow to come back.

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=LIE= A very poor substitute for the truth but the only one discovered up to date.

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=LIMBURGER= A native of Germany strong enough to do housework; well recommended for cleaning out the dining-room.

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=LIBRARY= From Fr. libre, meaning free, and proper name =ANDY=. Something free from Andy Carnegie.

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=LINKS= Found in sausages and golf courses, and both full of hazards.

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=LION= A cruel beast who never patronizes the barber and is always bearded in his den, yet will furnish a close shave if you get near enough.

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=LOBSTER= The edible lobster is found off the New England Coast. The two-legged species is found everywhere. All kinds are green, but when roasted turn a bright red. Soubrettes are very dependent on both varieties for a living; together they furnish her with food, raiment, flats, diamonds, and occasionally indigestion.

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=LOBSTER-NEWBURG= A dish ordered at hotels by those who usually get beans at home.

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=LOVE= A man's insane desire to become a woman's meal-ticket.

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=LOVER= An ardent admirer who says, "Yes, dearest, I will shovel the snow of the lake so that we can go skating!" and, after marriage remarks, "What! Shovel the snow off the walk for you? Well, I should say not! I'm no chore boy."

Hell is paved with good intentions--also asbestos. _

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