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Nye and Riley's Wit and Humor (Poems and Yarns), a non-fiction book by (Edgar W. Nye) Bill Nye |
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_ Edgar Wilson Nye was whole-souled, big-hearted and genial. Those who knew him lost sight of the humorist in the wholesome friend. He was born August 25, 1850, in Shirley, Piscataquis County, Maine. Poverty of resources drove the family to St. Croix Valley, Wisconsin, where they hoped to be able to live under conditions less severe. After receiving a meager schooling, he entered a lawyer's office, where most of his work consisted in sweeping the office and running errands. In his idle moments the lawyer's library was at his service. Of this crude and desultory reading he afterward wrote: "I could read the same passage to-day that I did yesterday and it would seem as fresh at the second reading as it did at the first. On the following day I could read it again and it would seem as new and mysterious as it did on the preceding day." At the age of twenty-five, he was teaching a district school in Polk County, Wisconsin, at thirty dollars a month. In 1877 he was justice of the peace in Laramie. Of that experience he wrote: "It was really pathetic to see the poor little miserable booth where I sat and waited with numb fingers for business. But I did not see the pathos which clung to every cobweb and darkened the rattling casement. Possibly I did not know enough. I forgot to say the office was not a salaried one, but solely dependent upon fees. So while I was called Judge Nye and frequently mentioned in the papers with consideration, I was out of coal half the time, and once could not mail my letters for three weeks because I did not have the necessary postage." He wrote some letters to the Cheyenne Sun, and soon made such a reputation for himself that he was able to obtain a position on the Laramie Sentinel. Of this experience he wrote: "The salary was small, but the latitude was great, and I was permitted to write anything that I thought would please the people, whether it was news or not. By and by I had won every heart by my patient poverty and my delightful parsimony with regard to facts. With a hectic imagination and an order on a restaurant which advertised in the paper I scarcely cared through the livelong day whether school kept or not." Of the proprietor of the Sentinel he wrote: "I don't know whether he got into the penitentiary or the Greenback party. At any rate, he was the wickedest man in Wyoming. Still, he was warmhearted and generous to a fault. He was more generous to a fault than to anything else--more especially his own faults. He gave me twelve dollars a week to edit the paper--local, telegraph, selections, religious, sporting, political, fashions, and obituary. He said twelve dollars was too much, but if I would jerk the press occasionally and take care of his children he would try to stand it. You can't mix politics and measles. I saw that I would have to draw the line at measles. So one day I drew my princely salary and quit, having acquired a style of fearless and independent journalism which I still retain. I can write up things that never occurred with a masterly and graphic hand. Then, if they occur, I am grateful; if not, I bow to the inevitable and smother my chagrin." In the midst of a wrangle in politics he was appointed Postmaster of his town and his letter of acceptance, addressed to the Postmaster-General at Washington, was the first of his writings to attract national attention. He said that in his opinion, his being selected for the office was a triumph of eternal right over error and wrong. "It is one of the epochs, I may say, in the nation's onward march toward political purity and perfection," he wrote. "I don't know when I have noticed any stride in the affairs of State which has so thoroughly impressed me with its wisdom." Shortly after he became postmaster he started the Boomerang. The first office of the paper was over a livery stable, and Nye put up a sign instructing callers to "twist the tail of the gray mule and take the elevator." He at once became famous, and was soon brought to New York, at a salary that seemed fabulous to him. His place among the humorists of the world was thenceforth assured. He died February 22, 1896, at his home in North Carolina, surrounded by his family. James Whitcomb Riley, the Hoosier poet, was for many years a close personal friend of the dead humorist. When informed of Nye's death, he said: "Especially favored, as for years I have been, with close personal acquaintance and association with Mr. Nye, his going away fills me with selfishness of grief that finds a mute rebuke in my every memory of him. He was unselfish wholly, and I am broken-hearted, recalling the always patient strength and gentleness of this true man, the unfailing hope and cheer and faith of his child-heart, his noble and heroic life, and pure devotion to his home, his deep affections, constant dreams, plans, and realizations. I cannot doubt but that somehow, somewhere, he continues cheerily on in the unspoken exercise of these same capacities." O William, in thy blithe companionship
The authors of this book have suffered intensely from the inordinate use of other guides, having been compelled several times to rise at 3 o'clock a. m., in order to catch a car which did not go and which would not have stopped at the station if it had gone. They have decided, therefore, to issue a guide which will be good for one to read after one has missed one's train by reason of one's faith in other guides which we may have in one's luggage. Let it be understood, then, that we are wholly irresponsible, and we are glad of it. We do not care who knows it. We will not even hold ourselves responsible for the pictures in this book, or the hard-boiled eggs sold at points marked as meal stations in time tables. We have gone into this thing wholly unpledged, and the man who gets up before he is awake, in order to catch any East bound, or West bound, North bound, South bound, or hide-bound train, named in this book, does himself a great wrong without in any way advancing our own interests. The authors of this book have made railroad travel a close study. They have discovered that there has been no provision made for the man who erroneously gets into a car which is side-tracked and swept out and scrubbed by people who take in cars to scrub and laundry. He is one of the men we are striving at this moment to reach with our little volume. We have each of us been that man. We are yet. He ought to have something to read that will distract his attention. This book is designed for him. Also for people who would like to travel but cannot get away from home. Of course, people who do travel will find nothing objectionable in the book, but our plan is to issue a book worth about $9, charging only fifty cents for it, and then see to it that no time-tables or maps which will never return after they have been pulled out once, shall creep in among its pages. It is the design of the authors to issue this guide annually unless prohibited by law, and to be the pioneers establishing a book which shall be designed solely for the use of anybody who desires to subscribe for it. BILL NYE. JAMES WHITCOMB RILEY. P. S.--The authors desire to express their thanks to Mr. Riley for the poetry and to Mr. Nye for the prose which have been used in this book.
August--Riley Anecdotes of Jay Gould--Nye A Black Hills Episode--Riley A Blasted Snore--Nye A Brave Refrain--Riley A Character--Riley A Dose't of Blues--Riley A Fall Creek View of the Earthquake--Riley A Hint of Spring--Riley A Letter of Acceptance--Nye A Treat Ode--Riley Craqueodoom--Riley Curly Locks--Riley Ezra House--Riley From Delphi to Camden--Riley Good-bye or Howdy-do--Riley Healthy, but Out of the Race--Nye Her Tired Hands--Nye His Crazy Bone--Riley His Christmas Sled--Riley His First Womern--Riley How to Hunt the Fox--Nye In a Box--Riley In the Afternoon--Riley Julius Caesar in Town--Nye Lines on Hearing a Cow Bawl--Riley Lines on Turning Over a Pass--Nye Me and Mary--Riley McFeeters' Fourth--Riley My Bachelor Chum--Riley Mr Silberberg--Riley Niagara Falls from the Nye Side--Nye Never Talk Back--Riley Oh, Wilhelmina, Come Back--Nye Our Wife--Nye Prying Open the Future--Nye Says He--Riley Seeking to Be Identified--Nye Seeking to Set the Public Right--Nye Spirits at Home--Riley Society Gurgs from Sandy Mush--Nye Sutter's Claim--Riley This Man Jones--Riley That Night--Riley The Boy Friend--Riley The Chemist of the Carolinas--Nye The Diary of Darius T Skinner--Nye The Grammatical Boy--Nye The Gruesome Ballad of Mr Squincher--Riley The Man in the Moon--Riley The Philanthropical Jay--Nye The Truth about Methuselah--Nye The Tar-heel Cow--Nye The Rise and Fall of William Johnson--Nye The Rossville Lecture Course--Riley Wanted, a Fox--Nye Where He First Met His Parents--Nye Where the Roads are Engaged in Forking--Nye While Cigarettes to Ashes Turn--Riley Why It Was Done--Nye & Riley _ |