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The $30,000 Bequest, a short story by Mark Twain |
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CHAPTER 2 |
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_ Now came great news! Stunning news--joyous news, in fact. It came from a neighboring state, where the family's only surviving relative lived. It was Sally's relative--a sort of vague and indefinite uncle or second or third cousin by the name of Tilbury Foster, seventy and a bachelor, reputed well off and corresponding sour and crusty. Sally had tried to make up to him once, by letter, in a bygone time, and had not made that mistake again. Tilbury now wrote to Sally, saying he should shortly die, and should leave him thirty thousand dollars, cash; not for love, but because money had given him most of his troubles and exasperations, and he wished to place it where there was good hope that it would continue its malignant work. The bequest would be found in his will, and would be paid over. PROVIDED, that Sally should be able to prove to the executors that he had TAKEN NO NOTICE OF THE GIFT BY SPOKEN WORD OR BY LETTER, HAD MADE NO INQUIRIES CONCERNING THE MORIBUND'S PROGRESS TOWARD THE EVERLASTING TROPICS, AND HAD NOT ATTENDED THE FUNERAL. As soon as Aleck had partially recovered from the tremendous Man and wife entered into a solemn compact, now, to never mention For the rest of the day Sally made havoc and confusion with his books, "Thir-ty thousand dollars!" All day long the music of those inspiring words sang through From his marriage-day forth, Aleck's grip had been upon the purse, "Thir-ty thousand dollars!" the song went on and on. A vast sum, All day long Aleck was absorbed in planning how to invest it, There was no romance-reading that night. The children took "Ah, it'll be grand, Aleck! Out of the first thousand we'll have Aleck responded with decision and composure-- "Out of the CAPITAL? Nothing of the kind. Not if it was a million!" Sally was deeply disappointed; the glow went out of his face. "Oh, Aleck!" he said, reproachfully. "We've always worked so hard He did not finish, for he saw her eye soften; his supplication "We must not spend the capital, dear, it would not be wise. "That will answer, that will answer, Aleck! How dear and good you are! "Not ALL of it, dear, not all of it, but you can spend a part of it. "Why, ye-s. Yes, of course. But we'll have to wait so long. "Yes--maybe longer." "Longer, Aleck? Why? Don't they pay half-yearly?" "THAT kind of an investment--yes; but I sha'n't invest in that way." "What way, then?" "For big returns." "Big. That's good. Go on, Aleck. What is it?" "Coal. The new mines. Cannel. I mean to put in ten thousand. "By George, but it sounds good, Aleck! Then the shares will be worth-- "About a year. They'll pay ten per cent. half yearly, and be "Land, thirty thousand for ten--in a year! Let's jam in the whole He was flying to the writing-desk, but Aleck stopped him and put "Don't lose your head so. WE mustn't subscribe till we've got Sally's excitement went down a degree or two, but he was not "Why, Aleck, we'll HAVE it, you know--and so soon, too. He's probably Aleck shuddered, and said: "How CAN you, Sally! Don't talk in that way, it is perfectly scandalous." "Oh, well, make it a halo, if you like, _I_ don't care for his outfit, "But why should you WANT to talk in that dreadful way? How would "Not likely to be, for ONE while, I reckon, if my last act was "All the eggs in one basket--that's the objection." "All right, if you say so. What about the other twenty? "There is no hurry; I am going to look around before I do anything "All right, if your mind's made up," signed Sally. He was deep "There'll be twenty thousand profit coming from the ten a year Aleck shook her head. "No, dear," she said, "it won't sell high till we've had the first "Shucks, only THAT--and a whole year to wait! Confound it, I--" "Oh, do be patient! It might even be declared in three months-- "Oh, jolly! oh, thanks!" and Sally jumped up and kissed his wife Aleck was pleased; so pleased that she yielded to the pressure and "Oh, I want to hug you!" And he did it. Then he got his "Well?" "Ciphering away, aren't you? That's right. Have you got the twenty "No, there's no hurry about that; I must look around first, "But you are ciphering; what's it about?" "Why, I have to find work for the thirty thousand that comes out "Scott, what a head! I never thought of that. How are you "Not very far--two years or three. I've turned it over twice; "Why, Aleck, it's splendid! How does it aggregate?" "I think--well, to be on the safe side, about a hundred and eighty "My! isn't it wonderful? By gracious! luck has come our way at last, "Well?" "I'm going to cash in a whole three hundred on the missionaries-- "You couldn't do a nobler thing, dear; and it's just like your The praise made Sally poignantly happy, but he was fair and just Then they went up to bed, and in their delirium of bliss they forgot A good job, too; for on her way back she hit on a scheme that would |