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Scraps, a non-fiction book by Jane Austen

A LETTER from a YOUNG LADY

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_ A LETTER from a YOUNG LADY, whose feelings being too strong for
her Judgement led her into the commission of Errors which her
Heart disapproved.

Many have been the cares and vicissitudes of my past life, my
beloved Ellinor, and the only consolation I feel for their
bitterness is that on a close examination of my conduct, I am
convinced that I have strictly deserved them. I murdered my
father at a very early period of my Life, I have since murdered
my Mother, and I am now going to murder my Sister. I have
changed my religion so often that at present I have not an idea
of any left. I have been a perjured witness in every public tryal
for these last twelve years; and I have forged my own Will. In
short there is scarcely a crime that I have not committed--But I
am now going to reform. Colonel Martin of the Horse guards has
paid his Addresses to me, and we are to be married in a few days.
As there is something singular in our Courtship, I will give you
an account of it. Colonel Martin is the second son of the late
Sir John Martin who died immensely rich, but bequeathing only one
hundred thousand pound apeice to his three younger Children, left
the bulk of his fortune, about eight Million to the present Sir
Thomas. Upon his small pittance the Colonel lived tolerably
contented for nearly four months when he took it into his head to
determine on getting the whole of his eldest Brother's Estate. A
new will was forged and the Colonel produced it in Court--but
nobody would swear to it's being the right will except himself,
and he had sworn so much that Nobody beleived him. At that moment
I happened to be passing by the door of the Court, and was
beckoned in by the Judge who told the Colonel that I was a Lady
ready to witness anything for the cause of Justice, and advised
him to apply to me. In short the Affair was soon adjusted. The
Colonel and I swore to its' being the right will, and Sir Thomas
has been obliged to resign all his illgotten wealth. The Colonel
in gratitude waited on me the next day with an offer of his hand
--. I am now going to murder my Sister.
Yours Ever,
Anna Parker. _

Read next: A TOUR THROUGH WALES--in a LETTER from a YOUNG LADY

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