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_ ACT I - SCENE IV
[Enter WAGNER and CLOWN.]
WAGNER.
Come hither, sirrah boy.
CLOWN.
Boy! O, disgrace to my person! zounds, boy in your face!
You have seen many boys with beards, I am sure.
WAGNER.
Sirrah, [38] hast thou no comings in?
[Footnote 38: Sirrah: So 4to 1616.--Not in 4tos 1624, 1631.]
CLOWN.
Yes, and goings out too, you may see, sir.
WAGNER.
Alas, poor slave! see how poverty jests in his nakedness!
I know the villain's out of service, and so hungry,
that I know he would give his soul to the devil for
a shoulder of mutton, though it were blood-raw.
CLOWN.
Not so neither: I had need to have it well roasted,
and good sauce to it, if I pay so dear, I can tell you.
WAGNER.
Sirrah, wilt thou be my man, and wait on me,
and I will make thee go like Qui mihi discipulus?
CLOWN.
What, in verse?
WAGNER.
No, slave; in beaten silk and staves-acre.
CLOWN.
Staves-acre! that's good to kill vermin:
then, belike, if I serve you, I shall be lousy.
WAGNER.
Why, so thou shalt be, whether thou dost it or no;
for, sirrah, if thou dost not presently bind
thyself to me for seven years, I'll turn all the
lice about thee into familiars, and make
them tear thee in pieces.
CLOWN.
Nay, sir, you may save [39] yourself a labour,
for they are as familiar with me as if they paid
for their meat and drink, I can tell you.
[Footnote 39: save: So 4tos 1616, 1624.--2to 1631 "spare."]
WAGNER.
Well, sirrah, leave your jesting, and take these guilders.
[Gives money.]
CLOWN.
Yes, marry, sir; and I thank you too.
WAGNER.
So, now thou art to be at an hour's warning,
whensoever and wheresoever the devil shall fetch thee.
CLOWN.
Here, take your guilders again; [40] I'll none of 'em.
[Footnote 40: again: So 4tos 1624, 1631.--Not in 4to 1616.]
WAGNER.
Not I; thou art pressed: prepare thyself, or [41]
I will presently raise up two devils to carry
thee away.--Banio! Belcher!
[Footnote 41: or: Old eds. "for."]
CLOWN.
Belcher! an Belcher come here, I'll belch him:
I am not afraid of a devil.
[Enter two DEVILS.]
WAGNER.
How now, sir! will you serve me now?
CLOWN.
Ay, good Wagner; take away the devil[s], then.
WAGNER.
Spirits, away!
[Exeunt DEVILS.]
Now, sirrah, follow me.
CLOWN.
I will, sir: but hark you, master; will you teach
me this conjuring occupation?
WAGNER.
Ay, sirrah, I'll teach thee to turn thyself to a dog,
or a cat, or a mouse, or a rat, or any thing.
CLOWN.
A dog, or a cat, or a mouse, or a rat!
O, brave, Wagner!
WAGNER.
Villain, call me Master Wagner, and see that you
walk attentively, and let your right eye be
always diametrally fixed upon my left heel, that
thou mayst quasi vestigiis nostris [42] insistere.
[Footnote 42: vestigiis nostris: Old eds. "vestigias nostras."]
CLOWN.
Well, sir, I warrant you.
[Exeunt.] _
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