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Fix Bay'nets: The Regiment in the Hills, a novel by George Manville Fenn |
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Chapter 16. Low Spirits |
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_ CHAPTER SIXTEEN. LOW SPIRITS "Drink o' water, sir? Yus, sir--there you are." Gedge gently raised Bracy's head and, all the time on the watch, hit him drink with avidity: but lowered his burden quickly the next instant, for with a sudden jerk the remainder of the water in the brass cup presented was jerked over his face, and the lotah went flying with a bell-like ring. "I was on the lookout for that, sir," said Gedge good-humouredly, "but you was too quick for me. I say, sir, don't you say you ain't getting better no more." "Better, Gedge?" said Bracy pitifully. "I am horribly worse." "Not you, sir, when you can play games like that." "Oh, my lad--my lad, I could not help it!" Gedge grinned as he looked at him, and shook his head. "You don't believe me," said Bracy sadly. "Well, you see, sir, I can't very well after that. I couldn't quite take it in when the Doctor told me what you'd done to him, and how you'd served the Major." "What did he say?" asked Bracy eagerly. "Said you'd broke out, sir, and was playing all kinds o' games; and that you had been cheating him and everybody else." "Anything else?" "Yus, sir; that it was a reg'lar case o' malingering, on'y I don't think he quite meant it. He was cross because he said you kicked him. Did you, sir?" "Yes--no--my leg jerked out at him, suddenly, Gedge." "Same thing, sir. Said you'd knocked the Major's eyeglass off and broke it. Did you do that, sir?" "My arm jerked out and came in contact with his glass, Gedge." "Same thing, sir, on'y we call it hitting out." Bracy made a weary gesture with his head, and then, in despairing tones, asked for more water. "All right, sir; but no larks this time." "What?" "Don't get chucking it in my face, sir, unless it does you a lot o' good. If it do I won't mind, for I should like to see you full o' fun again." "Fun!" groaned Bracy. "Give me the water. It is no fun, but a horror that is upon me, my lad." "Sorry to hear that, sir," said Gedge, filling the brass cup again from a tall metal bottle. "Still, it do seem rather comic. What makes you do it, sir?" "I can't help it, my lad," groaned Bracy, who once more drank thirstily and emptied the cup; Gedge, who had been watching him sharply, ready to dodge the water if it were thrown, managing to get it away this time without receiving a drop. "Now you'll be better, sir." "Thank you, my lad. I wish I could think so." "Well, do think so, sir. You ought to, for you must be an awful deal stronger." "No, no; I am weaker than ever." "Are yer, sir?" "Yes, my lad. I was a little like this the other day." "Yus, sir, I know." "And it has been getting worst; and worse." "Better and better, sir. It's a sign the nat'ral larkiness in yer's coming back." "No, no, my lad. The Doctor noticed it when my arm twitched, and told me it was involuntary action of the nerves, caused by the injury from the bullet." "Well, sir, he ought to know: and I dare say it's all right. But I say, sir--I don't, mind, and I won't say a word--you did it o' purpose." "No, Gedge; indeed no." "But really, sir, do you mean to tell me that when your arm was laid acrost your chest you couldn't get it away?" "Yes, of course I do." "And that you hit out and kick at people like that without being able to help it?" "Yes; it is quite true, my lad, and it is horrible." "Well, I dunno about being horrible, sir. Things like that can't last, no more than a fellow being off his head and talking all kinds o' stuff for a bit." "You can't grasp it, Gedge," sighed Bracy. "No, sir; wish I could." "What!" "Only wish you had my shot in the back, and I'd got yours." "You don't know what you're talking about, my lad." "Oh, don't I, sir? I just do. Voluntary action, don't you call it? I just seem to see myself lying in yonder with old Gee coming to see me, and with a leg and a arm ready to go off as yours seem to do. My word, the times I've felt like giving old Gee one, but dursen't, because it's striking your sooperior officer. Just think of it, sir; knocking him right over all innercent like, and not being able to help it. Why, I'd give anything to have your complaint." "Nonsense, nonsense! You are talking folly." "Can't help that, sir. It'd be worth months o' pain to see old Gee's face, and to hear him asking yer what yer meant by that." "No, no; it's horrible--and it means, I'm afraid, becoming a hopeless cripple." "There, you're getting down in the mouth again. Don't you get thinking that. But even if you did, we'd make the best of it." "The best of it, man!" groaned Bracy. "O' course, sir. You could get me my discharge, I dessay, and I'd come and carry yer or push yer in one o' them pramblater things as gents sets in and steers themselves. Then yer could ride o' horseback, or I could drive yer in a shay; and then there's boats as you could be rowed about in or have sails. It don't matter much about being a 'opeless cripple, so long as you're a gentleman and don't have to work for your living. Then, as to them two spring limbs, I could soon get used to them, sir, and learn to dodge 'em; and if I was too late sometimes, it wouldn't matter. All be in the day's work, sir. So don't you be down." Bracy was silent for a few minutes; and seeing that he wished to think, Gedge moved silently about the room, sponging up the water, that had been spilled, taking down Bracy's sword and giving it a polish, rearranging his clothes upon a stool, and whistling softly, though he was in a good deal of pain, till he began chuckling to himself, and Bracy turned his head. "What are you laughing at?" he said. "Only thinking about old Gee, sir. He 'listed just at the same time as me, sir; and then, all along of his bumptiousness and liking to bully everybody, while I was always easy-going and friends with every one, he gets first his corp'ral's stripes, and then his sergeant's, and begins to play Jack-in-office, till his uniform's always ready to crack at the seams. Just fancy, sir, being able to give him a floorer without helping it. Ho, my!" Gedge had to wipe his eyes with the backs of his hands, so full of mirth seemed the thought of discomfiting the tyrant who had hectored over him so long; and Bracy lay looking at him till he calmed down again. "You don't believe in all this being involuntary, Gedge?" he said at last. "Didn't at first, sir. I thought it was your larks, or else you were off your head. But I believe it all now, every bit, and I can't get over it. Just to be able to hit your sooperior officer, and no court-martial. Then the Doctor. Just to be able to make him feel a bit, after what he has made us squirm over." "Then you do believe me now?" "Of course, sir. And I tell yer it's grand to have a complaint like that. I mean for such as me. No punishment-drill, no lines, no prison, no nothing at all, for bowling your sooperior officer over like a skittle." Bracy turned his head wearily. "Ah, Gedge, you can't realise what it all means, to be a hopeless cripple, always in pain." "Wuth it, sir, every twinge; and as to being a hopeless cripple, what's that so long as there's plenty o' crutches to be had? Pst! Some un coming, sir." Gedge was right, for directly after the Doctor entered the room, signed to Gedge to go, and then detained him. "How has Mr Bracy been?" he said sharply. "Bit low-sperrited, sir." "Yes; but has he exhibited any of those peculiar phenomena?" Gedge passed his hand over his chin and stared. "Bah! Has he kicked at you, or struck you, or done anything of that kind?" "No, sir; not a bit." "That's right. Well, Bracy, you quite startled me, my lad; I was taken by surprise, and I looked at it from the commonplace point of view. I've had time to think of it now from the scientific side. Tell me, can you control yourself when those fits come on? I mean, this involuntary nerve and muscular action!" "Do you think that I should let it go on if I could, Doctor?" said Bracy sadly. "No, of course not, my dear fellow. Pardon me for asking you." "Tell me, then: can you cure it? Can you stop these terrible contractions?" "Yes, with Nature's help, my dear boy." "Ha!" sighed Bracy: "then may it come. But why is it? I never heard of such a thing before." "Naturally; and I never encountered such a case. It is all due to the irritation of the spinal nerves, and until we can get rid of the cause we cannot arrive at the cure." "But, Doctor--" "Patience, my dear boy--patience." "Can you give me some?" said Bracy sadly. "I hope so, for I am going to appeal to your manliness, your strength of mind. You must try to bear your sufferings, and I will help you by means of sedatives." "Thanks, Doctor. If you could only get me to be strong enough to act in some way." "Go out with the men and help them to shoot a few of the enemy--eh!" "Yes," cried Bracy eagerly. "It would keep me from thinking so, and wearing myself out with dread of my helpless future." "Well, listen to reason," said the Doctor cheerily. "Your helpless future, in which you see yourself a miserable cripple, old before your time, and utterly useless--" "Yes, yes," cried Bracy eagerly; "it is all that which keeps me back." "Of course; and what is all that but a kind of waking ill-dream, which you invent and build up for yourself? Come, you must own that." "Yes," said Bracy, with a sigh; "but I am very bad, Doctor." "Were." "I am still; but I will and can fight harder--" "No, no; not as you did this morning," said the Doctor, smiling. "I say, I can fight harder if you tell me that I may recover from these terrible fits." "I tell you, then, that you may and will. There, you've talked enough. Shake hands, and I'll go." He held out his hand, but there was no response, for Bracy's right arm lay motionless by his side, and a look of misery crossed the poor fellow's face. "Never mind," said the Doctor quietly; and he took Bracy's hand in his, when the fingers contracted over his in a tremendous pressure, which he had hard work to hear without wincing. But he stood smiling down at his patient till the contraction of the muscles ceased, and Bracy did not know till afterwards the pain that his grip had caused. _ |
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