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The Manxman: A Novel, a novel by Hall Caine |
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Part 3. Man And Woman - Chapter 16 |
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_ PART III. MAN AND WOMAN CHAPTER XVI Fate scored one. Kate had been telling herself that Philip was tired of her, that he did not love her any longer, that having taken all he could take he desired to be done with her, that he was trying to forget her, and that she was a drag upon him, when suddenly she remembered the tholthan, and bethought herself for the first time of a possible contingency. Why had she not thought of it before? Why had _he_ never thought of it? _If_ it should come to pass! The prospect did not appal her; it did not overwhelm her with confusion or oppress her with shame; it did not threaten to fall like a thunderbolt; the thought of it came down like an angel's whisper. She was not afraid. It was only an idea, only a possibility, only a dream of consequences, but at one bound it brought her so much nearer to Philip. It gave her a right to him. How dare he make her suffer so? She would not permit him to leave her. He was her husband, and he must cling to her, come what would. Across the void that had divided them a mysterious power drew them together. She was he, and he was she, and they were one, for--who knows?--who could say?--perhaps Nature herself had willed it. Thus the first effect of the new thought upon Kate was frenzied exultation. She had only one thing to do now. She had only to go to Philip as Bathsheba went to David. True, she could not say what Bathsheba said. She had no certainty, but her case was no less strong. "Have you never thought of what may possibly occur?" This is what she would say now to Philip. And Philip would say to her, "Dearest, I have never thought of that. Where was my head that I never reflected?" Then, in spite of his plans, in spite of his pledge to Pete, in spite of the world, in spite of himself--yea, in spite of his own soul if it stood between them--he would cling to her; she was sure of it--she could swear to it--he could not resist. "He will believe whatever I tell him," she thought, and she would say, "Come to me, Philip; I am frightened." In the torture of her palpitating heart she would have rejoiced at that moment if she could have been sure that she was in the position of what the world calls a shameful woman. With that for her claim she could see herself going to Philip and telling him, her head on his breast, whispering sweetly the great secret--the wondrous news. And then the joy, the rapture, the long kiss of love! "Mine, mine, mine! he is mine at last!" That could not be quite so; she was not so happy as Bathsheba; she was not sure, but her right was the same for all that. Oh, it was joyful, it was delicious! The little cunning arts of her sex, the small deceits in which she had disguised herself fell away from her now. She said to herself, "I will stop the nonsense about the marriage with Pete." It was mean, it was foolish, it was miserable trifling, it was wicked, it was a waste of life--above all, it was doing a great, great wrong to her love of Philip! How could she ever have thought of it? Next morning she was up and was dressing when Grannie came into the room with a cup of tea. "I feel so much better," she said "that I think I'll go to Douglas by the coach today, mother." "Do, bogh," said Grannie cheerfully, "and Pete shall go with you." "Oh, no; I must be quite alone, mother." "Aw, aw! A lil errand, maybe! Shopping is it? Presents, eh? Take your tay, then." And Grannie rolled the blind, saying, "A beautiful morning you'll have for it, too. I can see the spire as plain as plain." Then, turning about, "Did you hear the bells this morning, Kitty?" "Why, what bells, mammy?" said Kate, through a mouthful of bread and butter. "The bells for Christian Killip. Her old sweetheart took her to church at last. He wouldn't get rest at your father till he did--and her baby two years for Christmas. But what d'ye think, now? Robbie left her at the church door, and he's off by the Ramsey packet for England. Aw, dear, he did, though. 'You can make me marry her,' said he, 'but you can't make me live with her,' he said, and he was away down the road like the dust." "I don't think I'll go to Douglas to-day, mother," said Kate in a broken voice. "I'm not so very well, after all." "Aw, the bogh!" said Grannie. "Making too sure of herself, was she? It's the way with them all when they're mending." With cheerful protestations Grannie helped her back to bed, and then went off with an anxious face to tell Caesar that she was more ill than ever. She was ill indeed; but her worst illness was of the heart. "If I go to him and tell him," she thought, "he will marry me--yes. No fear that he will leave me at the church door or elsewhere. He will stay with me. We will be man and wife to the last. The world will know nothing. But _I_ will know. As long as I live I will remember that he only sacrificed himself to repair a fault That shall never be--never, never!" Caesar came up in great alarm. He seemed to be living in hourly dread that some obstacle would arise at the last moment to stop the marriage. "Chut, woman!" he said play-. fully. "Have a good heart, Kitty. The sun's not going down on you yet at all." That night there were loud voices from the bar-room. The talk was of the marriage which had taken place in the morning, and of its strange and painful sequel. John the Clerk was saying, "But you'd be hearing of the by-child, it's like?" "Never a word," said somebody. "Not heard of it, though? Fetching the child to the wedding to have the bad name taken off it--no? They were standing the lil bogh---it's only three--two is it, Grannie, only two?--well, they were standing the lil thing under its mother's perricut while the sarvice was saying." "You don't say!" "Aw, truth enough, sir! It's the ould Manx way of legitimating. The parsons are knowing nothing of it, but I've seen it times." "John's right," said Mr. Jelly; "and I can tell you more--it was just _that_ the man went to church for." "Wouldn't trust," said John the Clerk. "The woman wasn't getting much of a husband out of it anyway." "No," said Pete--he had not spoken before--"but the child was getting the name of its father, though." "That's not mountains of thick porridge, sir," said somebody. "Bobbie's gone. What's the good of a father if he's doing nothing to bring you up?" "Ask your son if you've got any of the sort," said Pete; "some of you have. Ask me. I know middling well what it is to go through the world without a father's name to my back. If your lad is like myself, he's knowing it early and he's knowing it late. He's knowing it when he's saying his bits of prayers atop of the bed in the gable loft: 'God bless mother--and grandmother,' maybe--there's never no 'father' in his little texes. And he's knowing it when he's growing up to a lump of a lad and going for a trade, and the beast of life is getting the grip of him. Ten to one he comes to be a waistrel then, and, if it's a girl instead, a hundred to nothing she turns out a--well, worse. Only a notion, is it? Just a parzon's lie, eh? Having your father's name is nothing--no? That's what the man says. But ask the _child_, and shut your mouth for a fool." There was a hush and a hum after that, and Kate, who had reached from the bed to open the door, clutched it with a feverish grasp. "But Christian Killip is nothing but a trollop, anyway, sir," said Caesar. "Every cat is black in the night, father--the girl's in trouble," said Pete. "No, no! If I'd done wrong by a woman, and she was having a child by me, I'd marry her if she'd take me, though I'd come to hate her like sin itself." Grannie in the kitchen was wiping her eyes at these brave words, but Kate in the bedroom was tossing in a delirium of wrath. "Never, never, never!" she thought. Oh, yes, Philip would marry her if she imposed herself upon him, if she hinted at a possible contingency. He, too, was a brave man; he also had a lofty soul--he would not shrink. But no, not for the wealth of worlds. Philip loved her, and his love alone should bring him to her side. No other compulsion should be put upon him, neither the thought of her possible future position, nor of the consequences to another. It was the only justice, the only safety, the only happiness now or in the time to come. "He shall marry me for _my_ sake," she thought, "for my own sake--my own sake only." Thus in the wild disorder of her soul--the tempest of conflicting passions--her pride barred up the one great way. _ |
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