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_ ACT II
[Same scene as Act I, but there is a large table with chairs around it in middle of scene. On table there is writing material and a speaker's gavel. Axel is painting. Abel is sitting near him. She is smoking.]
AXEL.
They have finished dinner and are having their coffee now. Did they drink much?
ABEL.
Oh, yes, and Bertha bragged and was disagreeable.
AXEL.
Tell me one thing, Abel, are you my friend, or not?
ABEL.
H'm--I don't know.
AXEL.
Can I trust you?
ABEL.
No--you can't.
AXEL.
Why not?
ABEL.
Oh, I just feel that you can't.
AXEL.
Tell me, Abel, you who have the common sense of a man and can be reasoned with, tell me how it feels to be a woman. Is it so awful?
ABEL
[Jokingly].
Yes, of course. It feels like being a nigger.
AXEL.
That's strange. Listen, Abel. You know that I have a passion for equity and justice--
ABEL.
I know you are a visionary--and that's why things will never go well with you.
AXEL.
But things go well with you--because you never feel anything?
ABEL.
Yes.
AXEL.
Abel, have you really never had any desire to love a man?
ABEL.
How silly you are!
AXEL.
Have you never found any one?
ABEL.
No, men are very scarce.
AXEL.
H'm, don't you consider me a man?
ABEL.
You! No!
AXEL.
That's what I fancied myself to be.
ABEL.
Are you a man? You, who work for a woman and go around dressed like a woman?
AXEL.
What? I, dressed like a woman?
ABEL.
The way you wear your hair and go around bare-necked, while she wears stiff collars and short hair; be careful, she'll soon take your trousers away from you.
AXEL.
How you talk!
ABEL.
And what is your position in your own house? You beg money from her, and she puts you under her guardianship. No, you are not a man! But that's why she took you, when her affairs were in bad shape.
AXEL.
You hate Bertha; what have you against her?
ABEL.
I don't know, but perhaps I, too, have been struck with that same passion for justice.
AXEL.
Look here. Don't you believe in your great cause any longer?
ABEL.
Sometimes! Sometimes not! What can one believe in any more? Sometimes it strikes me that the old ways were better. As mothers we had an honored and respected position when in that way we fulfilled our duty as citizens; as housewives we were a great power, and to bring up a family was not an ignominious occupation. Give me a cognac, Axel. We have talked so much.
AXEL
[Getting cognac].
Why do you drink?
ABEL.
I don't know. If one could only find the exceptional man!
AXEL.
What sort would that be?
ABEL.
The man who rules a woman!
AXEL.
Well, and if you found one?
ABEL.
Then I would--as they say--fall in love with him. Think if this whole noise were _blague_. Think!
AXEL.
No, there is surely life, motion in the movement, whatever it is.
ABEL.
Yes, there's so much motion--forward and backward! And a good deal of folly can come of the "motion," if they only get the majority for it.
AXEL.
If it turns out that way, then you've made a damned lot of noise uselessly, for now it's beginning to be loathsome to live.
ABEL.
We make so much noise that we make your heads reel. That's the trouble! Well, Axel, your position will be freer now that Bertha has been able to sell.
AXEL.
Sell! Has she sold a picture?
ABEL.
Don't you know that? The small picture with the apple-tree.
AXEL.
No, she hasn't said anything about it. When did it happen?
ABEL.
Day before yesterday. Don't you know about it? Well, then she intends to surprise you with the money.
AXEL.
Surprise me? She takes care of the cash herself.
ABEL.
So! Then it will--Hush, she is coming.
[Bertha comes in.]
BERTHA
[To Abel].
Oh, good evening; are you here? What made you leave us?
ABEL.
I thought it was tiresome.
BERTHA.
Yes, there is no fun in rejoicing for others!
ABEL.
No!
BERTHA
[To Axel].
And you sit diligently niggling, I see.
AXEL.
Yes, I'm daubing away.
BERTHA.
Let me see! That's very good indeed--but the left arm is far too long.
AXEL.
Do you think so?
BERTHA.
Think so? Can't I see that it is? Give me the brush and--[She takes brush.]
AXEL.
No, let me alone. Aren't you ashamed?
BERTHA.
What's that?
AXEL [Vexed]. Shame, I said. [Rises.] Are you trying to teach me how to paint?
BERTHA. Why not?
AXEL. Because you have still much to learn from me. But I can learn nothing from you.
BERTHA. It seems to me that the gentleman is not very respectful to his wife. One should bear in mind the respect one owes to--
ABEL.
Now you're old-fashioned. What particular respect does a man owe a woman if they are to be equals?
BERTHA
[To Abel].
So you think it's all right for a man to be coarse with his wife?
ABEL.
Yes, when she is impudent to him.
AXEL.
That's right! Tear each other's eyes out!
ABEL.
Not at all! The whole thing is too insignificant for that.
AXEL.
Don't say that. Look here, Bertha, considering that our economic condition is to undergo a change from now on, won't you be so good as to let me see the account-book?
BERTHA.
What a noble revenge for being refused!
AXEL.
What revenge? What has the account-book got to do with my being turned down at the salon? Give me the key to the chiffonier.
BERTHA
[Feeling in her pocket].
Very well. H'm! That's strange! I thought I just had it.
AXEL.
Find it!
BERTHA.
You speak in such a commanding tone. I don't like that.
AXEL.
Come now, find the key.
BERTHA
[Looking here and there in the room].
Yes, but I can't understand it; I can't find it. It must be lost some way.
AXEL.
Are you sure that you haven't got it?
BERTHA.
Absolutely sure.
[Axel rings; after a moment the maid comes in.]
AXEL
[To maid].
Go fetch a locksmith.
MAID.
A locksmith?
AXEL.
Yes, a smith who can pick a lock.
[Bertha gives the maid a look.]
MAID.
Right away, monsieur.
[Maid goes out. Axel changes his coat, discovers the order on the lapel, tears it off and throws it on the table.]
AXEL.
Pardon me, ladies!
BERTHA
[Mildly].
Don't mind us. Are you going out?
AXEL.
I am going out.
BERTHA.
Aren't you going to stay for the meeting?
AXEL.
No, I am not!
BERTHA. Yes, but they will think that very discourteous.
AXEL. Let them. I have more important things to do than listening to the drivel of you women.
BERTHA
[Worried].
Where are you going?
AXEL.
I don't need to account for myself, as I don't ask you to account for your actions.
BERTHA.
You won't forget that we have invited guests for the masquerade tomorrow evening?
AXEL.
Guests? That's true, tomorrow evening. H'm!
BERTHA.
It won't do to postpone it when both Oestermark and Carl have arrived today, and I have asked them to come.
AXEL.
So much the better!
BERTHA.
And now come home early enough to try on your costume.
AXEL.
My Costume? Yes, of course; I am to take the part of a woman.
[The maid enters.]
MAID.
The smith hasn't time now, but he'll come within two hours.
AXEL.
He hasn't time, eh? Well, perhaps the key will turn up anyway. However, I must be off now. Good-bye.
BERTHA
[Very mild].
Good-bye then. Don't come home late.
AXEL.
I don't know just what I will do. Goodbye.
[Abel nods good-bye, Axel goes out.]
ABEL.
How very cocky his lordship was!
BERTHA.
Such impudence! Do you know, I had a good mind to tame him, break him so that he'd come back crawling to me.
ABEL.
Yes, that tweak the salon disappointment gave him doesn't seem to have taken all the spunk out of him. Bertha, tell me, have you ever loved that clown?
BERTHA.
Loved him? I liked him very much because he was nice to me. But he is so silly and--when he nags as he did just now, I feel that I could hate him. Think of it, it's already around that he painted my picture!
ABEL.
Well, if it's gone as far as that, then you must do something eclatant.
BERTHA.
If I only knew how!
ABEL.
I'm usually inventive. Let me see. Look here, why couldn't you have his refused picture brought home just as all your friends have gathered here?
BERTHA.
No, that would look as if I wanted to triumph. No, that would be too terrible.
ABEL.
Yes, but if I should have it done? Or Gaga, that would be better still. It would be sent here in Axel's name by the porter. It's got to come home anyway, and it's no secret that it was refused.
BERTHA.
No, but you know--
ABEL.
What? Hasn't he spread false reports, and haven't you the right to defend yourself?
BERTHA.
I would like it to happen very much, but I don't want to have anything to do with the doing of it. I want to be able to stand and swear that I am quite clean and innocent.
ABEL.
You shall be able to do so. I'll attend to it.
BERTHA.
What do you think he wanted the account-book for? He has never asked to see it before. Do you think he has some scheme in his head about it?
ABEL.
Ye-es! Doubtless. He wants to see if you've accounted for the three hundred francs you got for your picture.
BERTHA.
What picture?
ABEL.
The one you sold to Madame Roubey.
BERTHA.
How do you know about that?
ABEL.
The whole crowd knows about it.
BERTHA.
And Axel, too?
ABEL.
Yes. I happened to mention it because I thought he knew. It was stupid of you not to tell him.
BERTHA.
Does it concern him if I sell a--
ABEL.
Yes, in a way, of course it concerns him.
BERTHA.
Well, then, I will explain that I didn't want to give him another disappointment after he had already had the unhappiness of seeing me accepted at the salon.
ABEL.
Strictly speaking, he has nothing to do with your earnings, as you have a marriage compact, and you have every reason to be tight with him. Just to establish a precedent, buck up and stand your own ground when he returns with his lecture tonight.
BERTHA.
Oh, I know how to take care of him. But--another matter. How are we to treat the Oestermark case?
ABEL.
Oestermark,--yes, he is my great enemy. You had better let me take care of him. We have an old account that is still unsettled, he and I. Calm yourself on that score. I'll make him yield, for we have the law on our side.
BERTHA.
What do you intend to do?
ABEL.
Invite Mrs. Hall and her two daughters here for tomorrow night, and then we will find out how he takes it.
BERTHA.
No, indeed, no scandal in my house!
ABEL.
Why not? Can you deny yourself such a triumph? If it's war, one must kill one's enemies, not just wound them. And now it is war. Am I right?
BERTHA.
Yes, but a father, and his wife and daughters whom he has not seen for eighteen years!
ABEL.
Well, he'll have a chance to see them now.
BERTHA. You're terrible, Abel!
ABEL. I'm a little stronger than you, that's all. Marriage must have softened you. Do you live as married people, h'm?
BERTHA. How foolish you are!
ABEL. You have irritated Axel; you have trampled on him. But he can yet bite your heel.
BERTHA.
Do you think he would dare to do anything?
ABEL.
I believe he'll create a scene when he comes home.
BERTHA.
Well, I shall give him as good as he sends--
ABEL.
If you only can! But that business about the chiffonier key--that was foolish, very foolish.
BERTHA.
Perhaps it was foolish. But he will be nice enough again after he has had an airing. I know him.
[The maid comes in with a package.]
MAID.
A messenger brought this costume for Monsieur.
BERTHA.
Very well, let me have it. That's fine!
MAID.
But it must be for madame, as it's a lady's costume.
BERTHA.
No, that's all right. It's for monsieur.
MAID.
But, heavens! is monsieur to wear dresses too?
BERTHA.
Why not, when we have to wear them? But you may leave us now.
[Maid goes out. Bertha opens bundle and takes out Spanish costume.]
ABEL.
But that is certainly well thought out. Oh, it's beautiful to avenge any one's stupidities.
[Willmer comes in zenith a messenger, who carries a package. Willmer is dressed in black frock coat with lapels faced with white, a flower in buttonhole, knee breeches, red cravat, and turned over cuffs.]
WILLMER.
Good evening; are you alone? Here are the candles and here are the bottles. One chartreuse and two vermouth; here are two packages of tobacco and the rest of the things.
BERTHA.
Well, but you are a good boy, Gaga!
WILLMER.
And here is the receipted bill.
BERTHA.
Is it paid? Then you have spent money again?
WILLMER.
We'll have plenty of time to settle that. But you must hurry now, as the old lady will soon be here.
BERTHA.
Then be good enough to open the bottles while I fix the candles.
WILLMER.
Of course I will.
[Bertha opens package of candles at table; Willmer stands beside her, taking the wrappers from bottles.]
ABEL.
You look quite family-like as you stand there together. You might have made quite a nice little husband, Gaga.
[Willmer puts his arm around Bertha and kisses her on the neck. Bertha turns on Willmer and slaps his face.]
BERTHA
. Aren't you ashamed, you little hornet! What are you up to, anyway?
ABEL.
If you can stand that, Gaga, then you can stand the knife.
WILLMER
[Angry].
Little hornet? Don't you know who I am? Don't you know that I'm an author of rank?
BERTHA.
You! who write nothing but trash!
WILLMER.
It wasn't trash when I wrote for you.
BERTHA.
You only copied what we said, that was all!
WILLMER.
Take care, Bertha. You know that I can ruin you!
BERTHA.
So, you threaten, you little Fido!
[To Abel.]
Shall we give the boy a spanking?
ABEL.
Think what you are saying!
WILLMER.
So! I've been a little Fido, who has been lying on your skirt; but don't forget that I can bite too.
BERTHA.
Let me see your teeth!
WILLMER.
No, but you shall feel them!
BERTHA.
Very well, come on then! Come!
ABEL.
Now, now, be quiet before you go too far.
WILLMER
[To Bertha].
Do you know what one has a right to say about a married woman who accepts presents from a young bachelor?
BERTHA.
Presents?
WILLMER.
You've accepted presents from me for two years.
BERTHA.
Presents! You should have a thrashing, you lying little snipe, always hanging around the petticoats! Don't you suppose I can squelch you?
WILLMER
[With a shrug].
Perhaps.
BERTHA.
And you dare throw a shadow on a woman's honor!
WILLMER
Honor! H'm! Does it do you any honor to have had me buy part of the household things which you have charged up to your husband?
BERTHA.
Leave my house, you scamp!
WILLMER.
Your house! Among comrades one is not careful, but among enemies one must count every hair! And you shall be compelled to go over the accounts with me--adventuress--depend on that! [Goes out.]
ABEL.
You will suffer for this foolishness! To let a friend leave you as an enemy--that's dangerous.
BERTHA.
Oh, let him do what he likes. He dared to kiss me! He dared to remind me that I'm a woman.
ABEL.
Do you know, I believe a man will always have that in mind. You have been playing with fire.
BERTHA.
Fire! Can one ever find a man and a woman who can live like comrades without danger of fire?
ABEL.
No, I don't think so; as long as there are two sexes there is bound to be fire.
BERTHA.
Yes, but that must be done away with!
ABEL.
Yes--it must be--try it!
[The maid comes in; she is bursting with laughter.]
MAID.
There is a lady out here who calls herself--Richard--Richard Wahlstroem!
BERTHA
[Going toward door].
Oh! Richard is here.
ABEL.
Oh, well then, if she has come, we can open the meeting. And now to see if we can disentangle your skein.
BERTHA.
Disentangle it, or cut it!
ABEL.
Or get caught in it!
CURTAIN. _
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