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_ ACT V SCENE I
Gloucestershire. SHALLOW'S house
[Enter SHALLOW, FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, and PAGE]
SHALLOW.
By cock and pie, sir, you shall not away to-night.
What, Davy, I say!
FALSTAFF.
You must excuse me, Master Robert Shallow.
SHALLOW.
I will not excuse you; you shall not be excus'd;
excuses shall not be admitted; there is no excuse shall serve; you
shall not be excus'd. Why, Davy!
[Enter DAVY]
DAVY.
Here, sir.
SHALLOW.
Davy, Davy, Davy, Davy; let me see, Davy; let me see,
Davy; let me see--yea, marry, William cook, bid him come
hither. Sir John, you shall not be excus'd.
DAVY.
Marry, sir, thus: those precepts cannot be served; and,
again, sir--shall we sow the headland with wheat?
SHALLOW.
With red wheat, Davy. But for William cook--are there
no young pigeons?
DAVY.
Yes, sir. Here is now the smith's note for shoeing and
plough-irons.
SHALLOW.
Let it be cast, and paid. Sir John, you shall not be
excused.
DAVY.
Now, sir, a new link to the bucket must needs be had;
and, sir, do you mean to stop any of William's wages about the
sack he lost the other day at Hinckley fair?
SHALLOW.
'A shall answer it. Some pigeons, Davy, a couple of
short-legg'd hens, a joint of mutton, and any pretty little
tiny kickshaws, tell William cook.
DAVY.
Doth the man of war stay all night, sir?
SHALLOW.
Yea, Davy; I will use him well. A friend i' th' court
is better than a penny in purse. Use his men well, Davy; for
they are arrant knaves and will backbite.
DAVY.
No worse than they are backbitten, sir; for they have
marvellous foul linen.
SHALLOW.
Well conceited, Davy--about thy business, Davy.
DAVY.
I beseech you, sir, to countenance William Visor of
Woncot against Clement Perkes o' th' hill.
SHALLOW.
There, is many complaints, Davy, against that Visor.
That Visor is an arrant knave, on my knowledge.
DAVY.
I grant your worship that he is a knave, sir; but yet God
forbid, sir, but a knave should have some countenance at his
friend's request. An honest man, sir, is able to speak for
himself, when a knave is not. I have serv'd your worship truly,
sir, this eight years; an I cannot once or twice in a quarter
bear out a knave against an honest man, I have but a very
little credit with your worship. The knave is mine honest friend,
sir; therefore, I beseech you, let him be countenanc'd.
SHALLOW.
Go to; I say he shall have no wrong. Look about,
DAVY. [Exit DAVY]
Where are you, Sir John? Come, come, come,
off with your boots. Give me your hand, Master Bardolph.
BARDOLPH.
I am glad to see your worship.
SHALLOW.
I thank thee with all my heart, kind Master Bardolph.
[To the PAGE]
And welcome, my tall fellow. Come, Sir John.
FALSTAFF.
I'll follow you, good Master Robert Shallow.
[Exit SHALLOW]
Bardolph, look to our horses.
[Exeunt BARDOLPH and PAGE]
If I were sawed into quantities, I should make four
dozen of such bearded hermits' staves as Master Shallow. It
is a wonderful thing to see the semblable coherence of his men's
spirits and his. They, by observing of him, do bear themselves
like foolish justices: he, by conversing with them, is turned
into a justice-like serving-man. Their spirits are so married
in conjunction with the participation of society that they flock
together in consent, like so many wild geese. If I had a suit
to Master Shallow, I would humour his men with the imputation of
being near their master; if to his men, I would curry with Master
Shallow that no man could better command his servants. It is
certain that either wise bearing or ignorant carriage is caught,
as men take diseases, one of another; therefore let men take
heed of their company. I will devise matter enough out of this
Shallow to keep Prince Harry in continual laughter the wearing out of
six fashions, which is four terms, or two actions; and 'a shall
laugh without intervallums. O, it is much that a lie with a slight
oath, and a jest with a sad brow will do with a fellow that
never had the ache in his shoulders! O, you shall see him laugh
till his face be like a wet cloak ill laid up!
SHALLOW.
[Within] Sir John!
FALSTAFF.
I come, Master Shallow; I come, Master Shallow.
[Exit.] _
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Read previous: ACT IV: SCENE V
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