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_ ACT II SCENE I
Rochester. An inn yard.
[Enter a Carrier with a lantern in his hand.]
CARRIER 1.
Heigh-ho! an it be not four by the day, I'll be hang'd.
Charles' wain is over the new chimney, and yet our horse not
pack'd.- What, ostler!
Ost. [within] Anon, anon.
CARRIER 1.
I prithee, Tom, beat Cut's saddle, put a few flocks in
the point. Poor jade is wrung in the withers out of all cess.
[ Enter another Carrier.]
CARRIER 2.
Peas and beans are as dank here as a dog, and that is
the next way to give poor jades the bots. This house is turned
upside down since Robin Ostler died.
CARRIER 1.
Poor fellow never joyed since the price of oats rose.
It was the death of him.
CARRIER 2.
I think this be the most villanous house in all London
road for fleas. I am stung like a tench.
CARRIER 1.
Like a tench I By the mass, there is ne'er a king
christen could be better bit than I have been since the first cock.
CARRIER 2.
Why, they will allow us ne'er a jordan, and then we
leak in your chimney, and your chamber-lye breeds fleas like a loach.
CARRIER 1.
What, ostler! come away and be hang'd! come away!
CARRIER 2.
I have a gammon of bacon and two razes of ginger, to be
delivered as far as Charing Cross.
CARRIER 1.
God's body! the turkeys in my pannier are quite
starved. What, ostler! A plague on thee! hast thou never an eye in thy
head? Canst not hear? An 'twere not as good deed as drink to
break the pate on thee, I am a very villain. Come, and be hang'd!
Hast no faith in thee?
[Enter Gadshill.]
GADSHILL.
Good morrow, carriers. What's o'clock?
CARRIER 1.
I think it be two o'clock.
GADSHILL.
I prithee lend me this lantern to see my gelding in the stable.
CARRIER 1.
Nay, by God, soft! I know a trick worth two of that, i' faith.
GADSHILL.
I pray thee lend me thine.
CARRIER 2.
Ay, when? canst tell? Lend me thy lantern, quoth he?
Marry, I'll see thee hang'd first!
GADSHILL.
Sirrah carrier, what time do you mean to come to London?
CARRIER 2.
Time enough to go to bed with a candle, I warrant thee.
Come, neighbour Mugs, we'll call up the gentlemen. They will
along with company, for they have great charge.
[ Exeunt (Carriers)].
GADSHILL.
What, ho! chamberlain!
[Enter Chamberlain.]
CHAMBERLAIN.
At hand, quoth pickpurse.
GADSHILL.
That's even as fair as- 'at hand, quoth the chamberlain';
for thou variest no more from picking of purses than giving
direction doth from labouring: thou layest the plot how.
CHAMBERLAIN.
Good morrow, Master Gadshill. It holds current that I
told you yesternight. There's a franklin in the Wild of Kent hath
brought three hundred marks with him in gold. I heard him
tell it to one of his company last night at supper- a kind of
auditor; one that hath abundance of charge too, God knows what. They
are up already and call for eggs and butter. They will away presently.
GADSHILL.
Sirrah, if they meet not with Saint Nicholas' clerks,
I'll give thee this neck.
CHAMBERLAIN.
No, I'll none of it. I pray thee keep that for the hangman;
for I know thou worshippest Saint Nicholas as truly as a man
of falsehood may.
GADSHILL.
What talkest thou to me of the hangman? If I hang, I'll
make a fat pair of gallows; for if I hang, old Sir John hangs with
me, and thou knowest he is no starveling. Tut! there are other
Troyans that thou dream'st not of, the which for sport sake
are content to do the profession some grace; that would (if
matters should be look'd into) for their own credit sake make all whole.
I am joined with no foot land-rakers, no long-staff sixpenny
strikers, none of these mad mustachio purple-hued maltworms;
but with nobility, and tranquillity, burgomasters and great
oneyers, such as can hold in, such as will strike sooner than speak,
and speak sooner than drink, and drink sooner than pray; and yet,
zounds, I lie; for they pray continually to their saint, the
commonwealth, or rather, not pray to her, but prey on her,
for they ride up and down on her and make her their boots.
CHAMBERLAIN.
What, the commonwealth their boots? Will she hold out
water in foul way?
GADSHILL.
She will, she will! Justice hath liquor'd her. We steal as in
a castle, cocksure. We have the receipt of fernseed, we walk invisible.
CHAMBERLAIN.
Nay, by my faith, I think you are more beholding to the
night than to fernseed for your walking invisible.
GADSHILL.
Give me thy hand. Thou shalt have a share in our
purchase, as I and a true man.
CHAMBERLAIN.
Nay, rather let me have it, as you are a false thief.
GADSHILL.
Go to; 'homo' is a common name to all men. Bid the ostler
bring my gelding out of the stable. Farewell, you muddy knave.
[Exeunt.] _
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Read previous: ACT I: SCENE III
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