________________________________________________
_ ACT II - SCENE II
SCENE .--The Apartment of Miss Flyn.
[MISS FLYN. BETTY.]
MISS FLYN
'Tis past eleven. Every minute I expect Mr. Pendulous here. What a meeting do I anticipate!
BETTY
Anticipate, truly! what other than a joyful meeting can it be between two agreed lovers who have been parted these four months?
MISS FLYN
But in that cruel space what accidents have happened!
--(_aside_)--
As yet I perceive she is ignorant of this unfortunate affair.
BETTY
Lord, madam, what accidents?
He has not had a fall or a tumble, has he?
He is not coming upon crutches?
MISS FLYN
Not exactly a fall--(_aside_)--I wish I had courage to admit her to my confidence.
BETTY
If his neck is whole, his heart is so too, I warrant it.
MISS FLYN
His neck!--(_aside_)--She certainly mistrusts something. He writes me word that this must be his last interview.
BETTY
Then I guess the whole business. The wretch is unfaithful. Some creature or other has got him into a noose.
MISS FLYN
A noose!
BETTY
And I shall never more see him hang----
MISS FLYN
Hang, did you say, Betty?
BETTY
About that dear, fond neck, I was going to add, madam, but you interrupted me.
MISS FLYN
I can no longer labour with a secret which oppresses me thus. Can you be trusty?
BETTY
Who, I, madam?--(_aside_)--Lord, I am so glad. Now I shall know all.
MISS FLYN
This letter discloses the reason of his unaccountable long absence from me. Peruse it, and say if we have not reason to be unhappy.
(Betty retires to the window to read the letter, Mr. Pendulous enters.)
MISS FLYN
My dear Pendulous!
PENDULOUS
Maria!--nay, shun the embraces of a disgraced man, who comes but to tell you that you must renounce his society for ever.
MISS FLYN
Nay, Pendulous, avoid me not.
PENDULOUS
_(Aside.)_
That was tender. I may be mistaken. Whilst I stood on honourable terms, Maria might have met my caresses without a blush.
(Betty, who has not attended to the entrance of Pendulous, through her eagerness to read the letter, comes forward.)
BETTY
Ha! ha! ha! What a funny story, madam; and is this all you make such a fuss about? I should not care if twenty of my lovers had been---- (_seeing Pendulous_)--Lord, Sir, I ask pardon.
PENDULOUS
Are we not alone, then?
MISS FLYN
'Tis only Betty--my old servant. You remember Betty?
PENDULOUS
What letter is that?
MISS FLYN
O! something from her sweetheart, I suppose.
BETTY
Yes, ma'am, that is all. I shall die of laughing.
PENDULOUS
You have not surely been shewing her----
MISS FLYN
I must be ingenuous. You must know, then, that I was just giving Betty a hint--as you came in.
PENDULOUS
A hint!
MISS FLYN
Yes, of our unfortunate embarrassment.
PENDULOUS
My letter!
MISS FLYN
I thought it as well that she should know it at first.
PENDULOUS
'Tis mighty well, madam. 'Tis as it should be. I was ordained to be a wretched laughing-stock to all the world; and it is fit that our drabs and our servant wenches should have their share of the amusement.
BETTY
Marry come up! Drabs and servant wenches! and this from a person in his circumstances!
(Betty flings herself out of the room, muttering.)
MISS FLYN
I understand not this language. I was prepared to give my Pendulous a tender meeting. To assure him, that however, in the eyes of the superficial and the censorious, he may have incurred a partial degradation, in the esteem of one, at least, he stood as high as ever. That it was not in the power of a ridiculous _accident,_ involving no guilt, no shadow of imputation, to separate two hearts, cemented by holiest vows, as ours have been. This untimely repulse to my affections may awaken scruples in me, which hitherto, in tenderness to you, I have suppressed.
PENDULOUS
I very well understand what you call tenderness, madam; but in some situations, pity--pity--is the greatest insult.
MISS FLYN
I can endure no longer. When you are in a calmer mood, you will be sorry that you have wrung my heart so.
[Exit.]
PENDULOUS
Maria! She is gone--in tears. Yet it seems she has had her scruples. She said she had tried to smother them. Mermaid Betty intimated as much.
[Re-enter Betty.]
BETTY
Never mind Retty, sir; depend upon it she will never 'peach.
PENDULOUS
'Peach!
BETTY
Lord, sir, these scruples will blow over. Go to her again, when she is in a better humour. You know we must stand off a little at first, to save appearances.
PENDULOUS
Appearances! _we!_
BETTY
It will be decent to let some time elapse.
PENDULOUS
Time elapse!
Lost, wretched Pendulous! to scorn betrayed,
The scoff alike of mistress and of maid!
What now remains for thee, forsaken man,
But to complete thy fate's abortive plan,
And finish what the feeble law began?
[Exeunt.]
[Re-enter Miss Flyn, with Marian.]
MISS FLYN
Now both our lovers are gone, I hope my friend will have less reserve. You must consider this apartment as yours while you stay here. 'Tis larger and more commodious than your own.
MARIAN
You are kind, Maria. My sad story I have troubled you with. I have some jewels here, which I unintentionally brought away. I have only to beg, that you will take the trouble to restore them to my father; and, without disclosing my present situation, to tell him, that my next step--with or without the concurrence of Mr. Davenport--shall be to throw myself at his feet, and beg to be forgiven. I dare not see him till you have explored the way for me. I am convinced I was tricked into this elopement.
MISS FLYN
Your commands shall be obeyed implicitly.
MARIAN
You are good
(agitated).
MISS FLYN
Moderate your apprehensions, my sweet friend. I too have known my sorrows--(_smiling_).--You have heard of the ridiculous affair.
MARIAN
Between Mr. Pendulous and you? Davenport informed me of it, and we both took the liberty of blaming the over-niceness of your scruples.
MISS FLYN
You mistake. The refinement is entirely on the part of my lover. He thinks me not nice enough. I am obliged to feign a little reluctance, that he may not take quite a distaste to me. Will you believe it, that he turns my very constancy into a reproach, and declares, that a woman must be devoid of all delicacy, that, after a thing of that sort, could endure the sight of her husband in----
MARIAN
In what?
MISS FLYN
The sight of a man at all in----
MARIAN
I comprehend you not.
MISS FLYN
In--in a--
(whispers)
--night cap, my dear; and now the mischief is out.
MARIAN
Is there no way to cure him?
MISS FLYN
None, unless I were to try the experiment, by placing myself in the hands of justice for a little while, how far an equality in misfortune might breed a sympathy in sentiment. Our reputations would be both upon a level, then, you know. What think you of a little innocent
shop-lifting, in sport?
MARIAN
And by that contrivance to be taken before a magistrate? the project sounds oddly.
MISS FLYN
And yet I am more than half persuaded it is feasible.
[Enter Betty.]
BETTY
Mr. Davenport is below, ma'am, and desires to speak with you.
MARIAN
You will excuse me--_(going--turning back.)
--You will remember the casket?
[Exit.]
MISS FLYN
Depend on me.
BETTY
And a strange man desires to see you, ma'am. I do not half like his looks.
MISS FLYN
Shew him in.
(Exit Betty, and returns--with a Police Officer. Betty goes out.)
OFFICER
Your servant, ma'am. Your name is----
MISS FLYN
Flyn, sir. Your business with me?
OFFICER
(Alternately surveying the lady and his paper of instructions.)
Marian Flint.
MISS FLYN
Maria Flyn.
OFFICER
Aye, aye, Flyn or Flint. 'Tis all one. Some write plain Mary, and some put ann after it. I come about a casket.
MISS FLYN
I guess the whole business. He takes me for my friend. Something may come out of this. I will humour him.
OFFICER
_(Aside)_--Answers the description to a tittle. "Soft, grey eyes, pale complexion,"----
MISS FLYN
Yet I have been told by flatterers that my eyes were blue--_(takes out a pocket-glass)_--I hope I look pretty tolerably to-day.
OFFICER
Blue!--they are a sort of blueish-gray, now I look better; and as for colour, that comes and goes. Blushing is often a sign of a hardened offender. Do you know any thing of a casket?
MISS FLYN
Here is one which a friend has just delivered to my keeping.
OFFICER
And which I must beg leave to secure, together with your ladyship's person. "Garnets, pearls, diamond-bracelet,"--here they are, sure enough.
MISS FLYN
Indeed, I am innocent.
OFFICER
Every man is presumed so till he is found otherwise.
MISS FLYN
Police wit! Have you a warrant?
OFFICER
Tolerably cool that! Here it is, signed by Justice Golding, at the requisition of Reuben Flint, who deposes that you have robbed him.
MISS FLYN
How lucky this turns out!
_(aside.)_
--Can I be indulged with a coach?
OFFICER
To Marlborough Street? certainly--an old offender--_(aside.)_ The thing shall be conducted with as much delicacy as is consistent with security.
MISS FLYN
Police manners! I will trust myself to your protection then.
[Exeunt.] _
Read next: Act 2 - Scene 3
Read previous: Act 2 - Scene 1
Table of content of Pawnbroker's Daughter, A Farce
GO TO TOP OF SCREEN
Post your review
Your review will be placed after the table of content of this book
