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_ ACT I. SCENE II.
The park.
[Enter ARMADO and MOTH, his page.]
ARMADO.
Boy, what sign is it when
a man of great spirit grows melancholy?
MOTH.
A great sign, sir, that he will look sad.
ARMADO.
Why, sadness is one and
the self-same thing, dear imp.
MOTH.
No, no; O Lord, sir, no!
ARMADO.
How canst thou part sadness
and melancholy, my tender juvenal?
MOTH.
By a familiar demonstration
of the working, my tough signior.
ARMADO.
Why tough signior? Why tough signior?
MOTH.
Why tender juvenal? Why tender juvenal?
ARMADO.
I spoke it, tender juvenal, as a congruent epitheton
appertaining to thy young days, which we may nominate tender.
MOTH.
And I, tough signior, as an appertinent
title to your old time, which we may name tough.
ARMADO.
Pretty and apt.
MOTH.
How mean you, sir? I pretty, and my saying apt?
or I apt, and my saying pretty?
ARMADO.
Thou pretty, because little.
MOTH.
Little pretty, because little. Wherefore apt?
ARMADO.
And therefore apt, because quick.
MOTH.
Speak you this in my praise, master?
ARMADO.
In thy condign praise.
MOTH.
I will praise an eel with the same praise.
ARMADO.
That an eel is ingenious?
MOTH.
That an eel is quick.
ARMADO.
I do say thou art quick in
answers; thou heat'st my blood.
MOTH.
I am answer'd, sir.
ARMADO.
I love not to be cross'd.
MOTH.
[Aside]
He speaks the mere contrary: crosses love not him.
ARMADO.
I have promised to study three years with the Duke.
MOTH.
You may do it in an hour, sir.
ARMADO.
Impossible.
MOTH.
How many is one thrice told?
ARMADO.
I am ill at reck'ning;
it fitteth the spirit of a tapster.
MOTH.
You are a gentleman and a gamester, sir.
ARMADO.
I confess both; they are both
the varnish of a complete man.
MOTH.
Then I am sure you know how much
the gross sum of deuce-ace amounts to.
ARMADO.
It doth amount to one more than two.
MOTH.
Which the base vulgar do call three.
ARMADO.
True.
MOTH.
Why, sir, is this such a piece of study?
Now here is three studied ere ye'll thrice
wink; and how easy it is to put 'years'
to the word 'three,' and study three years
in two words, the dancing horse will tell you.
ARMADO.
A most fine figure!
MOTH.
[Aside]
To prove you a cipher.
ARMADO.
I will hereupon confess I am in love. And as it is base
for a soldier to love, so am I in love with a base wench. If
drawing my sword against the humour of affection would
deliver me from the reprobate thought of it, I would take
Desire prisoner, and ransom him to any French courtier
for a new-devis'd curtsy. I think scorn to sigh; methinks
I should out-swear Cupid. Comfort me, boy;
what great men have been in love?
MOTH.
Hercules, master.
ARMADO.
Most sweet Hercules! More authority, dear boy, name
more; and, sweet my child, let them be men of
good repute and carriage.
MOTH.
Samson, master; he was a man of good carriage, great
carriage, for he carried the town gates on
his back like a porter; and he was in love.
ARMADO.
O well-knit Samson! strong-jointed Samson! I do excel
thee in my rapier as much as thou didst me in carrying
gates. I am in love too. Who was Samson's love, my dear Moth?
MOTH.
A woman, master.
ARMADO.
Of what complexion?
MOTH.
Of all the four, or the three, or the two, or one of the
four.
ARMADO.
Tell me precisely of what complexion.
MOTH.
Of the sea-water green, sir.
ARMADO.
Is that one of the four complexions?
MOTH.
As I have read, sir; and the best of them too.
ARMADO.
Green, indeed, is the colour of lovers; but to have a
love of that colour, methinks Samson had small reason
for it. He surely affected her for her wit.
MOTH.
It was so, sir; for she had a green wit.
ARMADO.
My love is most immaculate white and red.
MOTH.
Most maculate thoughts,
master, are mask'd under such colours.
ARMADO.
Define, define, well-educated infant.
MOTH.
My father's wit my mother's tongue assist me!
ARMADO.
Sweet invocation of a child; most pretty, and pathetical!
MOTH.
If she be made of white and red,
Her faults will ne'er be known;
For blushing cheeks by faults are bred,
And fears by pale white shown.
Then if she fear, or be to blame,
By this you shall not know;
For still her cheeks possess the same
Which native she doth owe.
A dangerous rhyme, master, against the reason of white and red.
ARMADO.
Is there not a ballad, boy, of the King and the Beggar?
MOTH.
The world was very guilty of such a ballad some three
ages since; but I think now 'tis not to be found; or
if it were, it would neither serve for the writing nor the tune.
ARMADO.
I will have that subject newly writ o'er, that I may
example my digression by some mighty precedent.
Boy, I do love that country girl that I took in the
park with the rational hind Costard; she deserves well.
MOTH.
[Aside]
To be whipt; and yet a better love than my master.
ARMADO.
Sing, boy; my spirit grows heavy in love.
MOTH.
And that's great marvel, loving a light wench.
ARMADO.
I say, sing.
MOTH.
Forbear till this company be past.
[Enter DULL, COSTARD, and JAQUENETTA.]
DULL.
Sir, the Duke's pleasure is that you keep
Costard safe; and you must suffer him to
take no delight nor no penance; but 'a
must fast three days a week. For this
damsel, I must keep her at the park; she
is allow'd for the day-woman. Fare you well.
ARMADO.
I do betray myself with blushing. Maid!
JAQUENETTA.
Man!
ARMADO.
I will visit thee at the lodge.
JAQUENETTA.
That's hereby.
ARMADO.
I know where it is situate.
JAQUENETTA.
Lord, how wise you are!
ARMADO.
I will tell thee wonders.
JAQUENETTA.
With that face?
ARMADO.
I love thee.
JAQUENETTA.
So I heard you say.
ARMADO.
And so, farewell.
JAQUENETTA.
Fair weather after you!
DULL.
Come, Jaquenetta, away.
[Exit with JAQUENETTA.]
ARMADO.
Villain, thou shalt fast
for thy offences ere thou be pardoned.
COSTARD.
Well, sir, I hope when I do it
I shall do it on a full stomach.
ARMADO.
Thou shalt be heavily punished.
COSTARD.
I am more bound to you than your fellows,
for they are but lightly rewarded.
ARMADO.
Take away this villain; shut him up.
MOTH.
Come, you transgressing slave, away.
COSTARD.
Let me not be pent up, sir;
I will fast, being loose.
MOTH.
No, sir; that were fast, and loose.
Thou shalt to prison.
COSTARD.
Well, if ever I do see the merry days
of desolation that I have seen, some shall see.
MOTH.
What shall some see?
COSTARD.
Nay, nothing, Master Moth, but what they look upon.
It is not for prisoners to be too silent in their
words, and therefore I will say nothing. I thank
God I have as little patience as
another man, and therefore I can be quiet.
[Exeunt MOTH and COSTARD.]
ARMADO.
I do affect the very ground, which is base, where her
shoe, which is baser, guided by her foot, which is
basest, doth tread. I shall be forsworn- which is a
great argument of falsehood- if I love. And how can
that be true love which is falsely attempted?
Love is a familiar; Love is a devil. There is no
evil angel but Love. Yet was Samson so tempted,
and he had an excellent strength; yet was Solomon
so seduced, and he had a very good wit.
Cupid's butt-shaft is too hard for Hercules' club,
and therefore too much odds for a Spaniard's rapier.
The first and second cause will not serve my turn;
the passado he respects not, the duello he regards
not; his disgrace is to be called boy, but his
glory is to subdue men. Adieu, valour; rust, rapier;
be still, drum; for your manager is in love; yea, he
loveth. Assist me, some extemporal god of rhyme,
for I am sure I shall turn sonnet.
Devise, wit; write, pen; for I am for whole volumes in folio.
[Exit.] _
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