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"If", a play by Lord Dunsany |
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ACT I - SCENE II |
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_ Yesterday evening. [Curtain rises on JOHN and MARY in JOHN I say, dear. Don't you think we ought to MARY An acacia, what's that, John? JOHN O, it's one of those trees that they have. MARY But why, John? JOHN Well, you see the house is called The Acacias, MARY O, I don't think that matters. Lots of JOHN Yes, but it might help the postman. MARY O, no, it wouldn't, dear. He wouldn't JOHN Quite right, Mary, you're always right. MARY Have I, John? We'll plant an acacia if JOHN MARY No, but he's sure to know where it can be JOHN Where do they grow, Mary? MARY I don't know, John; but I am sure they do, JOHN Somehow I wish sometimes, I almost wish MARY O, would you really, John? JOHN No, not really. But I just think of it MARY Where would you have gone? JOHN O, I don't know. The East or some such MARY The East, John? Not the East. I don't JOHN O well, it's all right, I never went, and MARY [the photographs catching her eye] O, John, I meant to tell you. Such a dreadful JOHN What, Mary? MARY Well, Liza was dusting the photographs, JOHN Ask her not to look at it so hard another MARY O, what do you mean, John? JOHN Well, that's how she broke it; she said so, MARY Well, I can't think she'd tell a lie, John. JOHN No, of course not. But she mustn't look MARY And it's poor little Jane's photograph. JOHN O, that's all right, we'll get it mended. MARY Still, it's a dreadful thing to have happened. JOHN We'll get it mended, and if Jane is unhappy MARY She isn't, John. She'd notice it quick. JOHN Well, George, then. MARY [looking at photo thoughtfully] Well, perhaps George might give up his JOHN Yes, tell Liza to change it. Why not make MARY Not to-day, John. Not on a Sunday. JOHN All right. It might have been worse. MARY It's bad enough. I wish it hadn't happened. JOHN It might have been worse. It might have MARY I'd sooner it had been her than poor little JOHN If it had been Aunt Martha's photograph MARY But, John, how could she have known? JOHN I don't know, but she would have; it's a MARY John! JOHN What's the matter? MARY John! What a dreadful word you used. JOHN O, I'm sorry. It slipped out somehow. [Enter LIZA.] LIZA There's a gentleman to see you, sir, which MARY Not a gentleman! Good gracious, Liza! LIZA He's black. MARY Black? JOHN [reassuring] O . . . yes, that would be Ali. A queer MARY But what is he doing here, John? JOHN Well, one day he turned up in London; MARY Fifty pounds! JOHN Yes, it seems a lot; but it seemed only fair. MARY Well, he doesn't want more? JOHN No, I expect he's come to thank me. He MARY How did he trace you here? JOHN O, got the address at the office. Briggs MARY I don't like letting people in that you don't JOHN O, he comes from the East. MARY Yes, I--I know. But the East doesn't seem JOHN No. MARY It's not like Sydenham or Bromley, some JOHN Perhaps just for once, I don't think there's MARY Well, just for once. But we can't make a JOHN O, it isn't business, you know. He only MARY I hope he won't say it in some queer JOHN O, no. Show him up, Liza. LIZA As you like, mum. MARY And you gave him fifty pounds? JOHN Well, old Briggs agreed to it. So I suppose MARY It seems a lot of money. But I think, as [Enter ALI, shown in by LIZA.] ALI Protector of the Just. JOHN O, er--yes. Good evening. ALI My soul was parched and you bathed it JOHN O, ah, yes. ALI Wherefore the name Briggs, Cater, and Beal JOHN Ha, yes. Very good of you. ALI [advancing, handing trinket] Protector of the Just, my offering. JOHN Your offering? ALI Hush. It is beyond price. I am not JOHN As it came to you?
Yes, it was given me. JOHN I see. Then you had given somebody what ALI Not gold; it was in Sahara. JOHN O, and what do you give in the Sahara ALI Water. JOHN I see. You got it for a glass of water, like. ALI Even so. JOHN And--and what happened? MARY I wouldn't take his only crystal, dear. ALI Even so. JOHN But look here, what does it do? ALI JOHN Well, what? ALI He that taketh this crystal, so, in his hand, MARY John! JOHN I--I don't understand. ALI To-night you wish. All to-morrow you JOHN By Jove! MARY Have nothing to do with it, John. JOHN All right, Mary, I'm not going to. But, Even so. Well, it seems odd, but I'll take your word ALI My master has power over time. MARY John, don't have anything to do with him. JOHN All right, Mary. But who is your master? ALI He is carved of one piece of jade, a god in JOHN Well, really, it's very good of you. MARY Good night, Mr. Ali. We are very much JOHN ALI Start early and you will be here before JOHN Would eight o'clock do! ALI JOHN I don't quite see how ten years could go ALI They will go as dreams go. JOHN Even so, it seems rather unusual, doesn't ALI Time is the slave of my master MARY John! All right, Mary. [In a lower voice.] I'm MARY All right, John, only . . . ALI Is there no step that you would wish JOHN I say, why don't you use it yourself? ALI I? I am afraid of the past. But you JOHN Ha, ha. Well--I wouldn't go quite as far MARY Don't take it, John! Don't take it. JOHN Why, Mary? It won't hurt me. MARY If it can do all that--if it can do all that . . . JOHN Well? MARY Why, you might never have met me. JOHN Never have met you? I never thought of MARY Leave the past alone, John. JOHN All right, Mary. I needn't use it. But I ALI Even so. MARY O, don't do it, John. JOHN But you said--I'll be back here before ALI It is so. JOHN But the Governor of the Bank of England ALI The crystal will bring you to this house JOHN And if the house is not mine? MARY John! John! Don't. ALI Still you will come. JOHN ALI No. JOHN If I want to do anything different to what MARY Don't. Don't do anything different, John. JOHN All right. ALI Choose just before the hour of the step JOHN Five minutes? ALI Even ten. JOHN Then I can change one thing. After that I ALI Even so. One thing. And the rest follows. JOHN Well, it's very good of you to make me this ALI Sell it not. Give it, as I gave it, if the heart JOHN It's very good of you, I'm sure. MARY I don't like it, John. I don't like tampering ALI My master's power is in your hands. [Exit.] JOHN I say, he's gone. MARY O, he's a dreadful man. JOHN I never really meant to take it. MARY O, John, I wish you hadn't JOHN Why? I'm not going to use it. MARY Not going to use it, John? JOHN No, no. Not if you don't want me to. MARY O, I'm so glad. JOHN And besides, I don't want things different. [Points at frowning framed photograph You remember when she first came and MARY O, John, wouldn't you really? JOHN No, I'm contented. Grim old soul, I MARY I'm glad of that, John. I was frightened. JOHN Yes, yes, that's all right. It's only a little MARY I'm so glad you're content, John. Are you JOHN Not a bit of it. Well, I may have at the MARY I'm so glad. And there's nothing you ever JOHN Nothing. And you? Is there nothing you MARY Me? Oh, no. I still think that sofa would JOHN Yes, so I would. No, there's nothing I MARY I don't suppose there's many men can say JOHN No, I don't suppose they can. They're [MARY smiles.] MARY I should think that very few could say JOHN Well, I won't say nothing. MARY What is it you regret, John? JOHN Well, there is one thing. MARY And what is that? JOHN One thing has rankled a bit. MARY Yes, John? JOHN O, it's nothing, it's nothing worth MARY What was it, John? JOHN O, it seems silly to mention it. It was MARY JOHN O, well, if you want to know, it was once MARY Pushed you by the face. Good gracious! JOHN Yes, I'd like to have caught that train in MARY What a brute of a man. JOHN O, I suppose he was doing his silly duty. MARY He'd no right to do any such thing! He'd JOHN O, well, never mind. MARY I should like to have been there. . . JOHN O, well, it can't be helped now; but I'd MARY What is it? JOHN Can't be helped, I said. It's the very thing MARY Can be helped, John? Whatever do you JOHN I mean he'd no right to stop me catching MARY O, John, that's what you said you wouldn't JOHN No. I said I'd do nothing to alter the past. MARY What were you going to catch the train JOHN For London. I wasn't at the office then. MARY John, it may alter your whole life! JOHN Now do listen, Mary, do listen. He never MARY N-no, John. Still, I don't like it. JOHN What difference could it make? MARY Think how we met. We met at ARCHIE's MARY No, I suppose not; still . . JOHN Well, what? MARY I don't like it. O, Mary, I have so longed to catch that MARY I'd rather you didn't, John. JOHN But why? O, John, suppose there's a railway JOHN There wasn't. MARY There wasn't, John? What do you mean? JOHN There wasn't an accident to the eight-fifteen. MARY Why, nor there was. JOHN You see how groundless your fears are. MARY Well, well then all right, John. JOHN And you will remember there wasn't an MARY [resignedly, sadly] O, yes, John. And you won't try to get JOHN No, Mary. I only want to catch that MARY Good night? I shall stay here on the sofa holding the MARY Thinking, John? What about? JOHN Getting it clear in my mind what I want MARY [sadly] Good night, John. JOHN Have supper ready at eleven. MARY Very well, John. JOHN [on the sofa, after a moment or two] I'll catch that infernal train in spite of him. [He takes the crystal and closes it up in I wish to go back ten years, two weeks and [Re-enter MARY in doorway.] MARY John! John! You are sure he did get JOHN Yes. Didn't he come to thank me for the MARY You are sure it wasn't ten shillings? JOHN Cater paid him, I didn't. MARY Are you sure that Cater didn't give him JOHN It's the sort of silly thing Cater would have MARY O, John! JOHN Hmm.
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