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Dear Brutus, a play by James Matthew Barrie |
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ACT II |
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_ We are translated to the depths of the wood in the enchantment of a moonlight night. In some other glade a nightingale is singing, in this one, in proud motoring attire, recline two mortals whom we have known in different conditions; the second chance has converted them into husband and wife. The man, of gross muddy build, lies luxurious on his back exuding affluence, a prominent part of him heaving playfully, like some little wave that will not rest in a still sea. A handkerchief over his face conceals from us what Colossus he may be, but his mate is our Lady Caroline. The nightingale trills on, and Lady Caroline takes up its song. LADY CAROLINE. Is it not a lovely night, Jim. Listen, my own, to (The handkerchief being removed MR. MATEY is revealed; and the MATEY. What do you say I am, Caroliny? LADY CAROLINE (clapping her hands). My own one, don't you think it MATEY (tolerantly). Poems? I never knew such a lass for high-flown LADY CAROLINE. Your lass, dearest. Jim's lass. MATEY (pulling her ear). And don't you forget it. LADY CAROLINE (with the curiosity of woman). What would you do if I MATEY. Take a stick to you. LADY CAROLINE (so proud of him). I love to hear you talk like that; MATEY. It's what you all need. LADY CAROLINE. It is, it is, you knowing wretch. MATEY. Listen, Caroliny. (He touches his money pocket, which emits a LADY CAROLINE. How much have you made this week, you wonderful man? MATEY (blandly). Another two hundred or so. That's all, just two LADY CAROLINE (caressing her wedding ring). My dear golden fetter, MATEY. Wait till I light this cigar. LADY CAROLINE. Let me hold the darling match. MATEY. Tidy-looking Petitey Corona, this. There was a time when one of LADY CAROLINE. How I should have loved, Jim, to know you when you were MATEY (remembering Napoleon and others). We all have our beginnings. LADY CAROLINE (a humourist at last). I am sure you would, Jim; but MATEY (uxoriously wishing that others could have heard this). Very LADY CAROLINE (as they rise). I do hope the ground wasn't damp. MATEY. Don't matter if it was; I was lying on your rug. (Indeed we notice now that he has had all the rug, and she the bare JOANNA (hesitating). I wonder, sir, whether you happen to have seen MATEY. We are strangers in these parts ourselves, missis. Have we LADY CAROLINE (coyly). Should we have noticed, dear? Might it be that JOANNA. Oh no, my husband is quite young. (The woodlander referred to is MR COADE in gala costume; at his mouth MATEY (signing to the unknown that he is wanted). Seems a merry old COADE (with a flourish of his legs). Can't say I have. JOANNA (dolefully). He isn't necessarily by himself; and I don't know- (The more happily married lady smiles, and Joanna is quick to take JOANNA. What do you mean by that? LADY CAROLINE (neatly). Oho--if MATEY. Now, now, now--your manners, Caroliny. COADE. Would he be singing or dancing? JOANNA. Oh no--at least, I hope not. COADE (an artist to the tips). Hope not? Odd! If he is doing neither I JOANNA (gloating not). Purdie; I am Mrs. Purdie. COADE. I will try to keep a look-out, and if I see him . . . but I am JOANNA (looking elsewhere). I am sorry I troubled you. I see him now. LADY CAROLINE. Is he alone? (JOANNA glares at her.) Ah, I see from your face that he isn't. MATEY (who has his wench in training). Caroliny, no awkward (Light-hearted as children they dance after him, while JOANNA behind a MABEL (as he catches her). No, and no, and no. I don't know you nearly PURDIE (whose sincerity is not to be questioned). Surely you might MABEL (heaving). Perhaps, if you are very good, Jack. PURDIE (of noble thoughts compact). If only Joanna were more like MABEL. Like me? You mean her face? It is a--well, if it is not PURDIE (gloomily). Thanks. MABEL (seated with a moonbeam in her lap). What would Joanna have said PURDIE. A wife should be incapable of jealousy. MABEL Joanna jealous? But has she any reason? Jack, tell me, who is PURDIE (restraining himself by a mighty effort, for he wishes always MABEL (faltering, yet not wholly giving up the chase). I can't think PURDIE. Every time you look in a mirror. MABEL (with her head on one side). How odd, Jack, that can't be; when PURDIE (gloating). How adorably innocent you are, Mabel. Joanna would (Slowly his meaning comes to her, and she is appalled.) MABEL. Not that! PURDIE (aflame). Shall I tell you now? MABEL (palpitating exquisitely). I don't know, I am not sure. Jack, (A little moan from JOANNA'S tree is unnoticed.) PURDIE. I would rather not say it at all than that way. (He is MABEL. Jack, you who are so universally admired. PURDIE. That doesn't help; I remain my own judge. I am afraid I am a MABEL. Then you met Joanna. PURDIE. Then I met Joanna. Yes! Foolishly, as I now see, I thought she MABEL. Joanna, how could you. PURDIE (firmly). Not a word against her, Mabel; if blame there is the MABEL. And so you married her. PURDIE. And so I married her. MABEL. Out of pity. PURDIE. I felt it was a man's part. I was such a child in worldly MABEL. Then you met me. PURDIE. Then I met you. MABEL. Too late--never--forever--forever--never. They are the saddest PURDIE. At the time I thought a still sadder word was Joanna. MABEL. What was it you saw in me that made you love me? PURDIE (plumbing the well of his emotions). I think it was the feeling MABEL (with great eyes). Have you noticed that, Jack? Sometimes it has PURDIE. We think the same thoughts; we are not two, Mabel; we are one. MABEL. Joanna knows you admire it, and for a week she did hers in the PURDIE. I never noticed. MABEL. That was why she gave it up. And it didn't really suit her. PURDIE. I was repeating a poem I have written: it is in two words, MABEL (timidly covering his mouth with her little hand). If I were to PURDIE (merciless in his passion). Say it, Mabel, say it. See I write MABEL. If it could be! Jack, I'll whisper it to you. (She is whispering it as they wander, not two but one, farther into MARGARET. Daddy, Daddy. I have won. Here is the place. (He comes. Crack-in-my-eye-Tommy, this engaging fellow in tweeds DEARTH. Yes, that is the tree I stuck my easel under last night, and (The easel is erected, MARGARET helping by getting in the way.) MARGARET (critical, as an artist's daughter should be.) The moon DEARTH. Comes of keeping late hours. MARGARET (showing off). Daddy, watch me, look at me. Please, sweet DEARTH (quickly at work). I oughtn't to have brought you out so late; MARGARET (pursuing a squirrel that isn't there). With the pillow DEARTH. Except in its proper place. MARGARET (wetting the other foot). And the sheet over my face. DEARTH. Where it oughtn't to be. MARGARET (more or less upside down). And Daddy tiptoeing in to take it off. DEARTH. Which is more than you deserve. MARGARET (in a tree). Then why does he stand so long at the door? And DEARTH. That's about it. What a life! But I oughtn't to have brought MARGARET (pelting him with nuts). I can't sleep when the moon's at the DEARTH. Gad, you look it to-night. MARGARET. Do I? Then can't you paint me into the picture as well as DEARTH. O matre pulchra filia pulchrior. That means, 'O Moon--more MARGARET (emerging in an unexpected place). Daddy, do you really DEARTH. 'Sh! She's not a patch on you; it's the sort of thing we say MARGARET (unnecessarily). It's a tear. DEARTH. I should think it is a tear. MARGARET. That boy at the farm did it. He kept calling Snubs after me, DEARTH. He sounds it. Ye Gods, what a night! MARGARET (considering the picture). And what a moon! Dad, she is not DEARTH. 'Sh! I have touched her up. MARGARET. Dad, Dad--what a funny man! (She has seen MR. COADE with whistle, enlivening the wood. He MARGARET. Hold me tight, Daddy, I 'm frightened. I think they want to DEARTH. Who, gosling? MARGARET. I don't know. It's too lovely, Daddy; I won't be able to DEARTH. What is? MARGARET. The world--everything--and you, Daddy, most of all. Things DEARTH (who knows it). Now, how did you find that out? MARGARET (still in his arms). I don't know, Daddy, am I sometimes DEARTH. More of a madcap, perhaps. MARGARET (solemnly). Do you think I am sometimes too full of DEARTH. My sweetheart, you do sometimes run over with it. (He is at MARGARET (persisting). To be very gay, dearest dear, is so near to DEARTH (who knows it). How did you find that out, child? MARGARET. I don't know. From something in me that's afraid. DEARTH. A might-have-been? They are ghosts, Margaret. I daresay I MARGARET (laughing). You! MARGARET. So am I. (She conceives a funny picture.) The poor old DEARTH. And there are other 'might-have-beens'--lovely ones, but MARGARET (jigging about). I am so glad I am not a shade. How awful it DEARTH. It would, dear. MARGARET. Daddy, wouldn't it be awful. I think men need daughters. DEARTH. They do. MARGARET. Especially artists. DEARTH. Yes, especially artists. MARGARET. Especially artists. DEARTH. Especially artists. MARGARET (covering herself with leaves and kicking them off). Fame is DEARTH. Fame is rot; daughters are the thing. MARGARET. Daughters are the thing. DEARTH. Daughters are the thing. MARGARET. I wonder if sons would be even nicer? DEARTH. Not a patch on daughters. The awful thing about a son is that MARGARET. But if you were a mother, Dad, I daresay he would let you do DEARTH. Think so? MARGARET. I mean when no one was looking. Sons are not so bad. Signed, DEARTH. Eh? That's a poser. I think you were nicest when you were two MARGARET (awestruck). Did I? DEARTH. Such was your answer. (Struggling with the momentous MARGARET (topheavy with pride in herself). I suppose that is a DEARTH. Is there, darling? MARGARET. Daddy, the year she does put up her hair! DEARTH. (with arrested brush). Puts it up for ever? You know, I am MARGARET (rushing at him). No, no, it will be lucky you, for it isn't DEARTH. (wryly). I see you have been thinking it out. MARGARET (gleaming). I have been doing more than that. Shut your eyes, DEARTH. I don't know that I want that: the present is so good. MARGARET. Shut your eyes, please. DEARTH. No, Margaret. MARGARET. Please, Daddy. DEARTH. Oh, all right. They are shut. MARGARET. Don't open them till I tell you. What finger is that? DEARTH. The dirty one. MARGARET (on her knees among the leaves). Daddy, now I am putting up DEARTH. Pooh. Where are my matches, dear? MARGARET, Top pocket, waistcoat. DEARTH (trying to light his pipe in darkness). You were meaning to MARGARET. No. I am just preparing you. You see, darling, I can't call DEARTH. Shut up, Margaret. MARGARET. Now I must be more distant to you; more like a boy who could DEARTH. See here, I want to go on painting. Shall I look now? MARGARET. I am not quite sure whether I want you to. It makes such a DEARTH. Stand still, dear, and let me look my fill. The Margaret that MARGARET (the change in his voice falling clammy on her). You'll see DEARTH. (with an odd tremor). Was I? Surely it isn't to be that. MARGARET. Be gay, Dad. (Bumping into him and round him and over him.) DEARTH. I expect so. MARGARET. Shut up, Daddy. (She waggles her head, and down comes her DEARTH. Well, I guess she is. MARGARET (surveying him from another angle). Now you are thinking DEARTH (with unnecessary warmth). Rot! MARGARET (reassuringly). I won't, you know; no, never. Oh, I have DEARTH (at work). Whom? MARGARET. Well, if there was? DEARTH. If there was what, darling? MARGARET. You know the kind of thing I mean, quite well. Would you DEARTH. I hope not. I should want to strangle him, but I wouldn't hate MARGARET. _I_ would. That is to say, if I liked him. DEARTH. If you liked him how could you hate him? MARGARET. For daring! DEARTH. Daring what? MARTARET. You know. (Sighing.) But of course I shall have no say in DEARTH (with a groan). I can't help it. MARGARET. You will even write my love-letters, if I ever have any to DEARTH (ashamed). Surely to goodness, Margaret, I will leave you alone MARGARET. Not you; you will try to, but you won't be able. DEARTH (in a hopeless attempt at self-defence). I want you, you see, MARGARET (severely). Not you; so sure you could do it better yourself. DEARTH (sadly). Did I? MARGARET. You called me Rover. DEARTH. I deny that. MARGARET. And when you said 'snap' I caught the biscuit in my mouth. DEARTH. Horrible. MARGARET (gleaming). Daddy, I can do it still! (Putting a biscuit on DEARTH. Not I. MARGARET. Say 'snap,' please. DEARTH. I refuse. MARGARET. Daddy! DEARTH. Snap. (She catches the biscuit in her mouth.) Let that be the MARGARET. Except just once more. I don't mean now, but when my hair is DEARTH (turning away his head). Right O. MARGARET. Dad, if I ever should marry, not that I will but if I DEARTH. I suppose I deserve this. MARGARET (coaxingly). You think I 'm pretty, don't you, Dad, whatever DEARTH. Not so bad. MARGARET. I _know_ I have nice ears. DEARTH. They are all right now, but I had to work on them for months. MARGARET. You don't mean to say that you did my ears? DEARTH. Rather! MARGARET (grown humble). My dimple is my own. DEARTH. I am glad you think so. I wore out the point of my little MARGARET. Even my dimple! Have I anything that is really mine? A bit MARGARET. Haven't I it now? DEARTH. It's gone. (He looks ruefully at her.) I'll tell you how it MARGARET (gasping). I can't believe that. DEARTH. Yes, it sounds extraordinary, but I did. It gave you a shock, MARGARET. Silly! (Bewildered) But what has that to do with my laugh, DEARTH. The laugh that children are born with lasts just so long as MARGARET. Don't, dear. I am sure the laugh just went off with the tear DEARTH. I was determined your earliest should be a good one. MARGARET (blankly). Do you mean to say you planned it? DEARTH. Rather! Most people's earliest recollection is of some trivial MARGARET (clutching him round the legs). Oh, how you love me, DEARTH. Yes, I do, rather. (A vagrant woman has wandered in their direction, one whom the shrill MARGARET (nicely, as becomes an artist's daughter.) Good evening. ALICE. Good evening, Missy; evening, Mister. DEARTH (seeing that her eyes search the ground). Lost anything? ALICE. Sometimes when the tourists have had their sandwiches there are DEARTH. You don't tell me you are as hungry as that? ALICE (with spirit). Try me. (Strange that he should not know that MARGARET (rushing at her father and feeling all his pockets.) Daddy, DEARTH. We must think of something else. MARGARET (taking her hand). Yes, wait a bit, we are sure to think of ALICE (sharply). Your father doesn't like you to touch the likes of MARGARET. Oh yes, he does. (Defiantly) And if he didn't, I'd do it all DEARTH. That is all you know. ALICE (whining). You needn't be angry with her. Mister; I'm all DEARTH. I am not angry with her; I am very sorry for you. ALICE (flaring). if I had my rights, I would be as good as you--and DEARTH. I daresay. ALICE. I have had men-servants and a motor-car. DEARTH. Margaret and MARGARET (stung). I have been in a taxi several times, and Dad often DEARTH. Margaret! MARGARET. I'm sorry I boasted. ALICE. That's nothing. I have a town house--at least I had . . . At MARGARET (interested). Fancy his not knowing for certain. ALICE. The Honourable Mrs. Finch-Fallowe--that's who I am. MARGARET (cordially). It's a lovely name. ALICE. Curse him. MARGARET. Don't you like him? DEARTH. We won't go into that. I have nothing to do with your past, ALICE. You haven't a flask? DEARTH. No, I don't take anything myself. But let me see. . . . MARGARET (sparkling). I know! You said we had five pounds. (To the DEARTH. Darling, don't be stupid; we haven't paid our bill at the ALICE (with bravado). All right; I never asked you for anything. DEARTH. Don't take me up in that way: I have had my ups and downs (He surreptitiously slips a coin into MARGARET'S hand.) MARGARET. And I have half a crown. It is quite easy for us. Dad will DEARTH. Margaret! ALICE. It's kind of you. I'm richer this minute than I have been for DEARTH. It's nothing; I am sure you would do the same for us. ALICE. I wish I was as sure. DEARTH. Of course you would. Glad to be of any help. Get some victuals ALICE. Same to you, and may yours go on. MARGARET. Good-night. ALICE. What is her name, Mister? DEARTH (who has returned to his easel). Margaret. ALICE. Margaret. You drew something good out of the lucky bag when you DEARTH. Yes. ALICE. Take care of her; they are easily lost. (She shuffles away.) DEARTH. Poor soul. I expect she has had a rough time, and that some MARGARET (gleefully). Yes, let's. DEARTH. Margaret, always feel sorry for the failures, the ones who are MARGARET. Topping. DEARTH. Topping. MARGARET. Oh, topping. How could we do it, Dad? DEARTH. By letter. 'To poor old Tom Broken Heart, Top Attic, Garret MARGARET. 'P.S.--I am sending the money in a sack so as you can hear DEARTH. What could we do for our friend who passed just now? I can't MARGARET. You have made me forget her. (Plaintively) Dad, I didn't DEARTH. Didn't like what, dear? MARGARET (shuddering). I didn't like her saying that about your losing DEARTH (the one thing of which he is sure). I shan't lose you. MARGARET (hugging his arm). It would be hard for me if you lost me, DEARTH (almost sharply). Don't talk like that, dear. It is wicked and MARGARET. Let's get out of the wood; it frightens me. DEARTH. And you loved it a moment ago. Hullo! (He has seen a distant MARGARET (tingling). Daddy, I feel sure there wasn't a house there! DEARTH. Goose. It is just that we didn't look: our old way of letting MARGARET. Let's get out of the wood. DEARTH. Yes, but my idea first. It is to rouse these people and get MARGARET (clinging to him). She is too far away now. DEARTH. I can overtake her. MARGARET (in a frenzy). Don't go into that house, Daddy! I don't know (He waggles a reproving finger at her.) DEARTH. There is a kiss for each moment until I come back. (She wipes (She tries hard not to smile, but she smiles and he smiles, and they I shall be back before you can count a hundred. (He goes off humming his song so that she may still hear him when he MARGARET (Out of the impalpable that is carrying her away). Daddy, |