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The Shopkeeper Turned Gentleman, a play by Moliere |
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Act 4 |
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_ ACT IV SCENE I.--DORIMENE, MR. JOURDAIN, DORANTE, THREE SINGERS, A SERVANT.
MR. JOUR. You are pleased to say So, Madam, but I only wish it were more worthy of your acceptance. (DORIMENE, MR. JOURDAIN, DORANTE, _and the_ THREE SINGERS _sit down_.) DOR. Mr. Jourdain is right, Madam, in what he says; and he obliges me by doing so well the honours of his house to you. I agree with him that the dinner is not worthy of you. As it was I who ordered it, and as I have not for this kind of thing the knowledge of some of our friends, you will not find here a well studied repast, but will meet with many incongruities of good eating and some barbarisms against good taste. If our good friend Damis had ordered it, all would be according to rule; there would be elegance and erudition everywhere; and he would not fail to exaggerate to you the excellence of every dish, and to make you acknowledge his high capacity in the science of good eating. He would speak to you of a loaf with golden sides, crusty all over, and yielding tenderly under the teeth; of wine full-bodied and of not too perceptible an acidity; of a saddle of mutton stewed with parsley; of a loin of Normandy veal, long, white, tender, and which is, as it were, an almond paste between the teeth; of partridges wonderful in flavour; and as his masterpiece, a pearl broth reinforced with a large turkey flanked with young pigeons, and crowned with white onions blended with endive. For my part I confess my ignorance; and as Mr. Jourdain has very well said, I wish the repast were more worthy of your acceptance. DORI. Well, I can only answer to this compliment by eating as I am doing. MR. JOUR. Ah! what beautiful hands! DORI. The hands have not much to boast of, Mr. Jourdain; it is the diamond which you wish to speak of; it is indeed very beautiful. MR. JOUR. I, Madam? Heaven forbid that I should speak of it. It would be ungentlemanly to do so, and the diamond is but a trifle. DOR. You are difficult to please. MR. JOUR. You are too kind, and.... DOR. (_after having made signs to_ MR. JOURDAIN). Come, come, give a little wine to Mr. Jourdain and to these gentlemen, who will do us the pleasure of singing us a drinking song. DORI. It is a most charming thought to make good music accompany good food, and I find myself most kindly entertained here. MR. JOUR. Madam, it is not.... DOR. Mr. Jourdain, let us listen to the music; what these gentlemen will tell us is better than all you and I could say. 1ST and 2ND SINGERS together, each with a glass in his hand. Ruby-red, the blushing wine, Drinking Song. Fill your glass, fill your glass, my friends, When we cross the waves of the river, What though fools spend their time in thinking And glory, wisdom, and wealth,
MR. JOUR. I see something still more beautiful here, Madam. DORI. Why, Mr. Jourdain, you are a greater flatterer than I should have thought. DOR. And for what, Madam, do you take Mr. Jourdain? MR. JOUR. I wish she would take me for what I could name. DORI. Again! DOR. (_to_ DORIMENE). You do not know him. MR. JOUR. But she will know me whenever it pleases her. DORI. Oh, I give up. DOR. He is a man always ready with an answer. But do you not see, Madam, that Mr. Jourdain eats all the pieces you have touched. DORI. Mr. Jourdain is a man I am charmed with. MR. JOUR. If I could only charm your heart, I should be.... SCENE II.--MRS. JOURDAIN, MR. JOURDAIN, DORIMENE, DORANTE, SINGERS, SERVANTS. MRS. JOUR. Ah! ah! I find charming company here, and I see clearly that I was not expected. It is for this fine piece of business, Sir, that you showed such anxiety to pack me off to my sister; was it? I have just seen a theatre down below, and here I find a banquet worthy of a wedding. That is the way you spend your money, and thus it is that you feast ladies in my absence, and give them music and the comedy, whilst you send me, trotting. DOR. What do you mean, Mrs. Jourdain, and what fancies are you taking into your head to go and imagine that your husband is spending his money and giving the dinner to this lady? I beg to tell you that he has only lent me his house, and that it is I who give this feast, and not he. You should be a little more cautious in what you say. MR. JOUR. Yes, rude woman that you are, it is the count who gives all that to this lady, who is a lady of rank. He does me the honour of making use of my house, and of wishing me to be with him. MRS. JOUR. All this is rubbish; I know what I know. DOR. Put on better spectacles, Mrs. Jourdain. MRS. JOUR. I have no need of spectacles, Sir, and I see clearly enough what is going on. It is some time since I have seen things as they are, and I am no fool. It is very wrong of you, a great lord, to encourage my husband in his delusion. And for you, Madam, a great lady, it is neither handsome nor honest to sow dissension in a family, and to allow my husband to be in love with you. DORI. What does all this mean? How very wrong of you, Dorante, to expose me to the preposterous fancies of this foolish woman. DOR. (_following_ DORIMENE, _who is going away_). Madam, stop, I pray; where are you going? MR. JOUR. Madam.... My Lord the Count, present my humblest apologies to her and try to bring her back. SCENE III.--MRS. JOURDAIN, MR. JOURDAIN, A SERVANT. MR. JOUR. Ah! insolent woman that you are; these are your fine doings. You come and abuse me before everybody, and send away from my house persons of quality. MRS. JOUR. I don't care a pin for their quality. MR. JOUR. I don't know, accursed woman that you are, what prevents me from beating your skull in with what remains of the feast you have come and disturbed. MRS. JOUR. (_going away_). I despise your threats. I come here to defend my own rights, and all wives will be on my side. MR. JOUR. You do wisely to avoid my anger, I can tell you. SCENE IV.--MR. JOURDAIN (_alone_). She came in at a most unlucky moment. I was in a mood to tell her very pretty things, and I never felt so full of wit. But what does this mean? SCENE V.--MR. JOURDAIN, COVIELLE (_disguised_). COV. Sir, I am not sure if I have the honour of being known to you. MR. JOUR. No, Sir. COV. (_putting his hand about a foot from the ground_). I saw you when you were not taller than that. MR. JOUR. Me? COV. Yes! You were the most beautiful child in the world, and all the ladies used to lift you up in their arms to kiss you. MR. JOUR. To kiss me? COV. Yes. I was a great friend of the late nobleman your father. MR. JOUR. Of the late nobleman my father? COV. Yes, he was a most kind gentleman. MR. JOUR. What do you say? COV. I say that he was a most kind gentleman. MR. JOUR. My father? COV. Your father. MR. JOUR. You knew him well? COV. Very well indeed. MR. JOUR. And you know him to have been a nobleman? COV. Undoubtedly. MR. JOUR. Well, I don't understand what the world means. COV. What do you say? MR. JOUR. There are some stupid people who try to persuade me that he was a shopkeeper. COV. He a shopkeeper! It is sheer calumny. All he did was this: he was extremely kind and obliging, and understood different kinds of stuff very well; therefore he used to go everywhere and choose some; then, he had them brought to his house, and was in the habit of letting his friends have some for money if they chose. MR. JOUR. I am delighted to have made your acquaintance, so that you may testify that my father was a nobleman. COV. I will maintain it before the whole world. MR. JOUR. You will oblige me greatly; may I know what business brings you here? COV. Since my acquaintance with your late father--a perfect gentleman, as I was telling you--I have travelled to the end of the world. MR. JOUR. To the end of the world? COV. Yes. MR. JOUR. I suppose it is a very far-off country. COV. Very far off. I only returned four days ago, and owing to the interest I take in all that concerns you, I have come to give you the best news possible. MR. JOUR. What can it be? COV. You know that the son of the Grand Turk is here. [Footnote: There seems to have been a Turkish envoy in Paris at that time.] MR. JOUR. No, I didn't know. COV. You didn't know! He has a most magnificent retinue of attendants. Everybody goes to see him, and he has been received in this country as a personage of the greatest importance. MR. JOUR. Indeed? I have heard nothing of it. COV. What is of great concern to you is that he is in love with your daughter. MR. JOUR. The son of the Grand Turk? COV. Yes, and that he wishes to, become your son-in-law. MR. JOUR. My son-in-law, the son of the Grand Turk! COV. The son of the Grand Turk your son-in-law When I went to see him, as I understand his language perfectly, we had a long chat together; and after having talked of different things, he told me, _Acciam croc soler onch alla moustaph gidelum amanahem varahini oussere carbulath_? that is to say, "Have you not seen a beautiful young girl who is the daughter of Mr. Jourdain, a nobleman of Paris?" MR. JOUR. The son of the Grand Turk said that of me? COV. Yes. Then I answered him that I knew you perfectly well, and that I had seen your daughter. Ah! said he, _marababa sahem_! which is to say, "Ah! how much I love her!" MR. JOUR. _Marababa sahem_! means, "Ah! how I love her!" COV. Yes. MR. JOUR. Indeed, you do right to tell me; for I should never have known that _Marababa sahem_! meant, "Ah I how much I love her!" This Turkish language is admirable. COV. More admirable than you would ever imagine. For instance, do you know what _Cacaracamouchen_ means? MR. JOUR. _Cacaracamouchen_? No. COV. It means, "My dear love." MR. JOUR. _Cacaracamouchen_ means, "My dear love"? COV. Yes. MR. JOUR. It is wonderful! _Cacaracamouchen_, "My dear love." Who would ever have thought it? I am perfectly astounded. COV. In short, in order to end my embassy, I must tell you that he is coming to ask your daughter in marriage; and in order to have a father-in-law worthy of him, he wants to make you a _mamamouchi_, which is a great dignity in his country. MR. JOUR. _Mamamouchi_? COV. _Mamamouchi_; that is to say in our own language, a paladin. Paladin, you know those ancient paladins; in short, there is nothing more noble than that in the whole world, and you will take rank with the greatest lords upon the earth. MR. JOUR. The son of the Grand Turk honours me greatly, and I beg of you to take me to his house, that I may return him my thanks. COV. Not at all; he is just coming here. MR. JOUR. He is coming here? COV. Yes, and he is bringing with him everything necessary for the ceremony. MR. JOUR. It is doing things rather quickly. COV. Yes, his love will suffer no delay. MR. JOUR. All that perplexes me in this affair is that my daughter is a very obstinate girl, who has taken it into her head to have a certain Cleonte for her husband, and vows she will marry no other. COV. She is sure to change her mind when she sees the son of the Grand Turk; besides, wonderful to relate, the son of the Grand Turk has a strong likeness to that very Cleonte. People showed him to me, and I have just seen him; the love she feels for the one is sure to pass to the other, and ... I hear him coming! Lo, here he is. SCENE VI.--CLEONTE (_dressed as a Turk_), THREE PAGES (_carrying the vest of_ CLEONTE), MR. JOURDAIN, COVIELLE. CLE. _Ambousahim oqui boraf, Giourdina, salamatequi_. COV. (_to_ MR. JOURDAIN). That is to say, "Mr. Jourdain, may your heart be all the year round a budding rose tree." It is a way of speaking they have in that country. MR. JOUR. I am your Turkish highness's humble servant. COV. _Carigar camboto oustin moraf_. CLE. _Oustin yoc catamalequi basum base alla moran_. COV. He says, "May heaven grant you the strength of the lion and the prudence of the serpent." MR. JOUR. His Turkish highness does me too much honour, and I wish him all manner of prosperity. COV. _Ossa binamen sadoc baballi oracaf ouram_. CLE. _Belmen_. COV. He says you must go quickly with him to prepare for the ceremony, in order afterwards to see your daughter and conclude the marriage. MR. JOUR. So many things comprised in two words? COV. Yes, The Turkish language is like that, it says a good deal in a few words. Go quickly where he wishes you. SCENE VII.--COVIELLE (_alone_). Ah! ah! ah! Upon my soul, this is most absurd. What a dupe! Had he learnt his part by heart, he would not have played it better. Ah! ah! ah! SCENE VIII.--DORANTE, COVIELLE. COV. I beg of you, Sir, to help us here in a little affair we have in hand. DOR. Hallo! Covielle, who would have known you again? What a get up! COV. As you see. Ah! ah! ah! DOR. What are you laughing at? COV. At a thing worth laughing at, I can tell you. DOR. What is it? COV. You would never guess the stratagem we have invented to induce Mr. Jourdain to give my master his daughter in marriage. DOR. I certainly can't guess what it is, but I can guess that it will succeed since you are at the head of affairs. COV. I know, Sir, that the animal is appreciated by you. DOR. Tell me what you are about. COV. Kindly go a little on one side to make room for what I see coming. You will be able to have a view of a part of the business whilst I explain the rest to you. SCENE IX.--THE TURKISH CEREMONY. [Footnote: Lulli composed the music, and acted the part of the Mufti.] [THE MUFTI, DERVISHES, TURKS (_assisting the_ MUFTI), SINGERS and DANCERS.] SIX TURKS _enter gravely, two and two at the sound of instruments. They carry three carpets which they lift very high as they dance several dances The_ TURKS _pass under the carpets, singing and range themselves on each side of the stage. The_ MUFTI, _accompanied by_ DERVISHES, _closes the march. The_ TURKS _then spread the carpets on the ground, and kneel down upon them. The_ MUFTI _and the_ DERVISHES _stand up in the middle of them; and while the_ MUFTI _invokes Mahomet in dumb contortions and grimaces the_ TURKS _prostrate themselves to the ground, singing_ Alli, _raising their hands to heaven, singing_ Alla, _and continue so alternately to the end of the invocation; after which they all rise up, singing_, Alla eckber, _and two_ DERVISHES _go and fetch_ MR. JOURDAIN. SCENE X.--THE MUFTI, DERVISH, TURKISH SINGERS and DANCERS. MR. JOURDAIN, dressed like a Turk, his head shaved, without any turban or sword . [1] Se ti sabir, Mi star muphti, [1] [2] (TWO DERVISHES _retire with_ MR. JOURDAIN.)
MUF. Dice, Turque, qui star quista? Anabatista? anabatista? [Say, Turk, who is this? Is he Anabaptist? Anabaptist?] TUR. Ioc. [No.] MUF. Zuinglista? [A Zwinglian?] TUR. Ioc. [No.] MUF. Coffita? [A Capht?] TUR. Ioc. [No.] MUF. Hussita? Morista? Fronista? [A Hussite? a Moor? a Phronist?] TUR. Ioc, ioc; ioc. [No, no, no.] MUF. Ioc, ioc, ioc. Star pagana? [No, no, no. Is he a pagan?] TUR. Ioc. [No.] MUF. Luterana? [A Lutheran?] TUR. Ioc. [No.] MUF. Puritana? [A Puritan?] TUR. Ioc. [No.] MUF. Bramina? Moffina? Zurina? [A Brahmin? a Moffian? a Zurian?] TUR. Ioc, ioc, ioc. [No, no, no.] MUF. Ioc, ioc, ioc. Mahametana? Mahametana? [No, no, no. A Mahometan? a Mahometan?] TUR. Hi Valla. Hi Valla. [There you have it. There you have it.] MUF. Como chamara? Como chamara? [How is he called? How is he called?] TUR. Giourdina, Giourdina. [Jourdain, Jourdain.] MUF. (_jumping_). Giourdina, Giourdina. [Jourdain, Jourdain.] TUR. Giourdina, Giourdina. [Jourdain, Jourdain.] Mahameta, per Giourdina,
MUF. (_singing and dancing_). Ha la ba, ba la chou, ba la ba, ba la da. TUR. Ha la ba, ba la chou, ba la ba ba la da. [2] [2] Thus separated, these words have no sense; but by joining and correcting them, we have: _Allah baba, hou, Allah hou_, which are really Turkish, and which signify, "_God my Father; God my Father_." (_Auger_.) SCENE XI.--TURKS, singing and dancing. Second entry of the BALLET. SCENE XIII.--THE MUFTI, DERVISHES, MR. JOURDAIN, TURKS, _singing and dancing_. [The MUFTI _returns, wearing on his head the state turban, which is of enormous size, and adorned with lighted candles, four or five rows deep; he is accompanied by TWO DERVISHES bearing the Koran, and wearing cone-shaped caps also adorned with lighted candles. The two other DERVISHES lead in MR. JOURDAIN, and make him kneel down, his two hands on the ground, so that his back, on which the Koran is placed, serves for a desk for the MUFTI, who makes a second burlesque invocation, knitting his eyebrows, striking from time to time on the Koran, and turning over the pages with precipitation; after which, lifting up his hands, he cries with a loud voice, "HOU." During this second invocation, the other TURKS, bowing down and raising themselves alternately, sing likewise, "Hou, hou, hou."] MR. JOUR. (_after they have taken the Koran from off his back_). Ouf! THE MUFTI (_to_ MR. JOURDAIN). Ti non star furba? [Thou wilt not be a knave?] THE TURKS. No, no, no. THE MUFTI. Non star forfanta? [Nor be a thief?] THE TURKS. No, no, no. [Give the turban.] Third entry of the BALLET. [The TURKS, dancing, put the turban on_ MR. JOURDAIN'S head at the sound of the instruments. THE MUFTI THE TURKS
[The TURKS, dancing, strike MR. JOURDAIN _several times with their swords, keeping time with the music.] THE TURKS.
[The Turks, dancing, give MR. JOURDAIN several blows with a stick, keeping time meanwhile.] THE TURKS.
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