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Christian Science, a non-fiction book by Mark Twain

BOOK II - CHAPTER VII - BOARD OF EDUCATION--PUBLIC TEACHERS--BOARD OF LECTURESHIP--MISSIONARIES--THE BY-LAWS--THE CREED

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_ BOARD OF EDUCATION

It consists of four members, one of whom is President of it. Its members
are elected annually. Subject to Mrs. Eddy's approval. Art. XXX., Sec. 2.

She owns the Board--is the Board.

Mrs. Eddy is President of the Metaphysical College. If at any time she
shall vacate that office, the Directors of the College (that is to say,
Mrs. Eddy) "shall" elect to the vacancy the President of the Board of
Education (which is merely re-electing herself).

It is another case of "Pastor Emeritus." She gives up the shadow of
authority, but keeps a good firm hold on the substance.

 

PUBLIC TEACHERS

Applicants for admission to this industry must pass a thorough three
days' examination before the Board of Education "in Science and Health,
chapter on 'Recapitulation'; the Platform of Christian Science; page 403
of Christian Science Practice, from line second to the second paragraph
of page 405; and page 488, second and third paragraphs."

 

BOARD OF LECTURESHIP

The lecturers are exceedingly important servants of Mrs. Eddy, and she
chooses them with great care. Each of them has an appointed territory in
which to perform his duties--in the North, the South, the East, the West,
in Canada, in Great Britain, and so on--and each must stick to his own
territory and not forage beyond its boundaries. I think it goes without
saying--from what we have seen of Mrs. Eddy--that no lecture is delivered
until she has examined and approved it, and that the lecturer is not
allowed to change it afterwards.

The members of the Board of Lectureship are elected annually--

"Subject to the approval of Rev. Mary Baker G. Eddy."

 


MISSIONARIES

There are but four. They are elected--like the rest of the domestics--
annually. So far as I can discover, not a single servant of the Sacred
Household has a steady job except Mrs. Eddy. It is plain that she trusts
no human being but herself.

 


THE BY-LAWS

The branch Churches are strictly forbidden to use them.

So far as I can see, they could not do it if they wanted to. The By-laws
are merely the voice of the master issuing commands to the servants.
There is nothing and nobody for the servants to re-utter them to.

That useless edict is repeated in the little book, a few pages farther
on. There are several other repetitions of prohibitions in the book that
could be spared-they only take up room for nothing.

 


THE CREED
It is copyrighted. I do not know why, but I suppose it is to keep
adventurers from some day claiming that they invented it, and not Mrs.
Eddy and that "strange Providence" that has suggested so many clever
things to her.

No Change. It is forbidden to change the Creed. That is important, at
any rate. _

Read next: BOOK II: CHAPTER VII - COPYRIGHT

Read previous: BOOK II: CHAPTER VII - MORE SELF-PROTECTIONS

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