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Christian Science, a non-fiction book by Mark Twain

BOOK II - CHAPTER VII - THE NEW UNPARDONABLE SIN

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_ "Working Against the Cause. Sec. 2. If a member of this Church shall
work against the accomplishment of what the Discoverer and Founder of
Christian Science understands is advantageous to the individual, to this
Church, and to the Cause of Christian Science"--out he goes. Forever.

The member may think that what he is doing will advance the Cause, but he
is not invited to do any thinking. More than that, he is not permitted
to do any--as he will clearly gather from this By-law. When a person
joins Mrs. Eddy's Church he must leave his thinker at home. Leave it
permanently. To make sure that it will not go off some time or other
when he is not watching, it will be safest for him to spike it. If he
should forget himself and think just once, the By-law provides that he
shall be fired out-instantly-forever-no return.

"It shall be the duty of this Church immediately to call a meeting, and
drop forever the name of this member from its records."

My, but it breathes a towering indignation!

There are forgivable offenses, but this is not one of them; there are
admonitions, probations, suspensions, in several minor cases; mercy is
shown the derelict, in those cases he is gently used, and in time he can
get back into the fold--even when he has repeated his offence. But let
him think, just once, without getting his thinker set to Eddy time, and
that is enough; his head comes off. There is no second offence, and
there is no gate open to that lost sheep, ever again.

"This rule cannot be changed, amended, or annulled, except by unanimous
vote of all the First Members."

The same being Mrs. Eddy. It is naively sly and pretty to see her keep
putting forward First Members, and Boards of This and That, and other
broideries and ruffles of her raiment, as if they were independent
entities, instead of a part of her clothes, and could do things all by
themselves when she was outside of them.

Mrs. Eddy did not need to copyright the sentence just quoted, its English
would protect it. None but she would have shovelled that comically
superfluous "all" in there.

The former Unpardonable Sin has gone out of service. We may frame the
new Christian Science one thus:

"Whatsoever Member shall think, and without Our Mother's permission act
upon his think, the same shall be cut off from the Church forever."

It has been said that I make many mistakes about Christian Science
through being ignorant of the spiritual meanings of its terminology. I
believe it is true. I have been misled all this time by that word
Member, because there was no one to tell me that its spiritual meaning
was Slave. _

Read next: BOOK II: CHAPTER VII - AXE AND BLOCK

Read previous: BOOK II: CHAPTER VII - PRAYER AND THE LORD'S PRAYER-AMENDED

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