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_ Before Vronsky's departure for the elections, Anna had reflected
that the scenes constantly repeated between them each time he
left home, might only make him cold to her instead of attaching
him to her, and resolved to do all she could to control herself
so as to bear the parting with composure. But the cold, severe
glance with which he had looked at her when he came to tell her
he was going had wounded her, and before he had started her peace
of mind was destroyed.
In solitude afterwards, thinking over that glance which had
expressed his right to freedom, she came, as she always did, to
the same point--the sense of her own humiliation. "He has the
right to go away when and where he chooses. Not simply to go
away, but to leave me. He has every right, and I have none. But
knowing that, he ought not to do it. What has he done, though? .
. . He looked at me with a cold, severe expression. Of course
that is something indefinable, impalpable, but it has never been
so before, and that glance means a great deal," she thought.
"That glance shows the beginning of indifference."
And though she felt sure that a coldness was beginning, there was
nothing she could do, she could not in any way alter her
relations to him. Just as before, only by love and by charm could
she keep him. And so, just as before, only by occupation in the
day, by morphine at night, could she stifle the fearful thought
of what would be if he ceased to love her. It is true there was
still one means; not to keep him--for that she wanted nothing
more than his love--but to be nearer to him, to be in such a
position that he would not leave her. That means was divorce and
marriage. And she began to long for that, and made up her mind to
agree to it the first time he or Stiva approached her on the
subject.
Absorbed in such thoughts, she passed five days without him, the
five days that he was to be at the elections.
Walks, conversation with Princess Varvara, visits to the
hospital, and, most of all, reading--reading of one book after
another--filled up her time. But on the sixth day, when the
coachman came back without him, she felt that now she was utterly
incapable of stifling the thought of him and of what he was doing
there, just at that time her little girl was taken ill. Anna
began to look after her, but even that did not distract her mind,
especially as the illness was not serious. However hard she
tried, she could not love this little child, and to feign love
was beyond her powers. Towards the evening of that day, still
alone, Anna was in such a panic about him that she decided to
start for the town, but on second thoughts wrote him the
contradictory letter that Vronsky received, and without reading
it through, sent it off by a special messenger. The next morning
she received his letter and regretted her own. She dreaded a
repetition of the severe look he had flung at her at parting,
especially when he knew that the baby was not dangerously ill.
But stin she was glad she had written to him. At this moment Anna
was positively admitting to herself that she was a burden to
him, that he would relinquish his freedom regretfully to return
to her, and in spite of that she was glad he was coming. Let him
weary of her, but he would be here with her, so that she would
see him, would know of every action he took.
She was sitting in the drawing-room near a lamp, with a new
volume of Taine, and as she read, listening to the sound of the
wind outside, and every minute expecting the carriage to arrive.
Several times she had fancied she heard the sound of wheels, but
she had been mistaken. At last she heard not the sound of wheels,
but the coachman's shout and the dull rumble in the covered
entry. Even Princess Varvara, playing patience, confirmed this,
and Anna, flushing hotly, got up; but instead of going down, as
she had done twice before, she stood still. She suddenly felt
ashamed of her duplicity, but even more she dreaded how he might
meet her. All feeling of wounded pride had passed now; she was
only afraid of the expression of his displeasure. She remembered
that her child had been perfectly well again for the last two
days. She felt positively vexed with her for getting better from
the very moment her letter was sent off. Then she thought of him,
that he was here, all of him, with his hands, his eyes. She heard
his voice. And forgetting everything, she ran joyfully to meet
him.
"Well, how is Annie?" he said timidly from below, looking up to
Anna as she ran down to him.
He was sitting on a chair, and a footman was pulling off his warm
over-boot.
"Oh, she is better."
"And you?" he said, shaking himself.
She took his hand in both of hers, and drew it to her waist,
never taking her eyes off him.
"Well, I'm glad," he said, coldly scanning her, herhair, her
dress, which he knew she had put on for him. All was charming,
but how many times it had charmed him! And the stern, stony
expression that she so dreaded settled upon his face.
"Well, I'm glad. And are you well?" he said, wiping his damp
beard with his handkerchief and kissing her hand.
"Never mind," she thought, "only let him be here, and so long as
he's here he cannot, he dare not, cease to love me."
The evening was spent happily and gaily in the presence of
Princess Varvara, who complained to him that Anna had been taking
morphine in his absence.
"What am I to do? I couldn't sleep.... My thoughts prevented me.
When he's here I never take it--hardly ever."
He told her about the election, and Anna knew how by adroit ques-
tions to bring him to what gave him most pleasure--his own
success.
She told him of everything that interested him at home; and all
that she told him was of the most cheerful description.
But late in the evening, when they were alone, Anna, seeing that
she had regained complete possession of him, wanted to erase the
painful impression of the glance he had given her for her letter.
She said:
"Tell me frankly, you were vexed at getting my letter, and you
didn't believe me?"
As soon as she had said it, she felt that however warm his
feelings were to her, he had not forgiven her for that.
"Yes," he said, "the letter was so strange. First, Annie ill, and
then you thought of coming yourself."
"It was all the truth."
"Oh, I don't doubt it."
"Yes, you do doubt it. You are vexed, I see."
"Not for one moment. I'm only vexed, that's true, that you seem
somehow unwilling to admit that there are duties . . .'~
"The duty of going to a concert . . ."
"But we won't talk about it," he said.
"Why not talk about it?" she said.
"I only meant to say that matters of real importance may turn up.
Now, for instance, I shall have to go to Moscow to arrange about
the house.... Oh, Anna, why are you so irritable? Don't you know
that I can't live without you?"
"If so," said Anna, her voice suddenly changing, "it means that
you are sick of this life.... Yes, you will come for a day and go
away, as men do . . ."
"Anna, that's cruel. I am ready to give up my whole life."
But she did not hear him.
"If you go to Moscow, I will go too. I will not stay here. Either
we must separate or else live together."
"Why, you know, that's my one desire. But for that . . ."
"We must get a divorce. I will write to him. I see I cannot go on
like this.... But Twill come with you to Moscow."
"You talk as if you were threatening me. But I desire nothing so
much as never to be parted from you," said Vronsky, smiling.
But as he said these words there gleamed in his eyes not merely a
cold look, but the vindictive look of a man persecuted and made
cruel.
She saw the look and correctly divined its meaning.
"If so, it's a calamity!" that glance told her. It was a moment's
im- pression, but she never forgot it.
Anna wrote to her husband asking him about a divorce, and towards
the end of November, taking leave of Princess Varvara, who wanted
to go to Petersburg, she went with Vronsky to Moscow. Expecting
every day an answer from Alexey Alexandrovitch, and after that
the divorce, they now established themselves together like
married people. _
Read next: Part Seven: Chapter 1
Read previous: Part six: Chapter 31
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