________________________________________________
_ "THE Clarks have invited some folks to their house to meet
us, tonight," said Kennicott, as he unpacked his suit-case.
"Oh, that is nice of them!"
"You bet. I told you you'd like 'em. Squarest people on
earth. Uh, Carrie---- Would you mind if I sneaked down to
the office for an hour, just to see how things are?"
"Why, no. Of course not. I know you're keen to get back
to work."
"Sure you don't mind?"
"Not a bit. Out of my way. Let me unpack."
But the advocate of freedom in marriage was as much
disappointed as a drooping bride at the alacrity with which he
took that freedom and escaped to the world of men's affairs.
She gazed about their bedroom, and its full dismalness crawled
over her: the awkward knuckly L-shape of it; the black walnut
bed with apples and spotty pears carved on the headboard; the
imitation maple bureau, with pink-daubed scent-bottles and a
petticoated pin-cushion on a marble slab uncomfortably like a
gravestone; the plain pine washstand and the garlanded water-
pitcher and bowl. The scent was of horsehair and plush and
Florida Water.
"How could people ever live with things like this?" she
shuddered. She saw the furniture as a circle of elderly judges,
condemning her to death by smothering. The tottering brocade
chair squeaked, "Choke her--choke her--smother her."
The old linen smelled of the tomb. She was alone in this
house, this strange still house, among the shadows of dead
thoughts and haunting repressions. "I hate it! I hate it!"
she panted. "Why did I ever----"
She remembered that Kennicott's mother had brought these
family relics from the old home in Lac-qui-Meurt. "Stop it!
They're perfectly comfortable things. They're--comfortable.
Besides---- Oh, they're horrible! We'll change them, right away."
Then, "But of course he HAS to see how things are at the office----"
She made a pretense of busying herself with unpacking. The
chintz-lined, silver-fitted bag which had seemed so desirable a
luxury in St. Paul was an extravagant vanity here. The daring
black chemise of frail chiffon and lace was a hussy at
which the deep-bosomed bed stiffened in disgust, and she
hurled it into a bureau drawer, hid it beneath a sensible linen
blouse.
She gave up unpacking. She went to the window, with a
purely literary thought of village charm--hollyhocks and lanes
and apple-cheeked cottagers. What she saw was the side of
the Seventh-Day Adventist Church--a plain clapboard wall
of a sour liver color; the ash-pile back of the church; an
unpainted stable; and an alley in which a Ford delivery-wagon
had been stranded. This was the terraced garden below her
boudoir; this was to be her scenery for----
"I mustn't! I mustn't! I'm nervous this afternoon. Am
I sick? . . . Good Lord, I hope it isn't that! Not now!
How people lie! How these stories lie! They say the bride
is always so blushing and proud and happy when she finds that
out, but--I'd hate it! I'd be scared to death! Some day
but---- Please, dear nebulous Lord, not now! Bearded sniffy
old men sitting and demanding that we bear children. If
THEY had to bear them----! I wish they did have to! Not now!
Not till I've got hold of this job of liking the ash-pile out
there! . . . I must shut up. I'm mildly insane. I'm
going out for a walk. I'll see the town by myself. My first
view of the empire I'm going to conquer!"
She fled from the house.
She stared with seriousness at every concrete crossing, every
hitching-post, every rake for leaves; and to each house she
devoted all her speculation. What would they come to mean?
How would they look six months from now? In which of
them would she be dining? Which of these people whom she
passed, now mere arrangements of hair and clothes, would turn
into intimates, loved or dreaded, different from all the other
people in the world?
As she came into the small business-section she inspected
a broad-beamed grocer in an alpaca coat who was bending over
the apples and celery on a slanted platform in front of his
store. Would she ever talk to him? What would he say if
she stopped and stated, "I am Mrs. Dr. Kennicott. Some
day I hope to confide that a heap of extremely dubious pumpkins
as a window-display doesn't exhilarate me much."
(The grocer was Mr. Frederick F. Ludelmeyer, whose market
is at the corner of Main Street and Lincoln Avenue. In
supposing that only she was observant Carol was ignorant,
misled by the indifference of cities. She fancied that she was
slipping through the streets invisible; but when she had
passed, Mr. Ludelmeyer puffed into the store and coughed at
his clerk, "I seen a young woman, she come along the side
street. I bet she iss Doc Kennicott's new bride, good-looker,
nice legs, but she wore a hell of a plain suit, no style, I wonder
will she pay cash, I bet she goes to Howland & Gould's more
as she does here, what you done with the poster for Fluffed
Oats?")
II
When Carol had walked for thirty-two minutes she had
completely covered the town, east and west, north and south; and
she stood at the corner of Main Street and Washington Avenue
and despaired.
Main Street with its two-story brick shops, its story-and-a-
half wooden residences, its muddy expanse from concrete walk
to walk, its huddle of Fords and lumber-wagons, was too
small to absorb her. The broad, straight, unenticing gashes
of the streets let in the grasping prairie on every side. She
realized the vastness and the emptiness of the land. The
skeleton iron windmill on the farm a few blocks away, at the
north end of Main Street, was like the ribs of a dead cow.
She thought of the coming of the Northern winter, when the
unprotected houses would crouch together in terror of storms
galloping out of that wild waste. They were so small and
weak, the little brown houses. They were shelters for sparrows,
not homes for warm laughing people.
She told herself that down the street the leaves were a
splendor. The maples were orange; the oaks a solid tint
of raspberry. And the lawns had been nursed with love. But
the thought would not hold. At best the trees resembled a
thinned woodlot. There was no park to rest the eyes. And
since not Gopher Prairie but Wakamin was the county-seat,
there was no court-house with its grounds.
She glanced through the fly-specked windows of the most
pretentious building in sight, the one place which welcomed
strangers and determined their opinion of the charm and
luxury of Gopher Prairie--the Minniemashie House. It was
a tall lean shabby structure, three stories of yellow-streaked
wood, the corners covered with sanded pine slabs purporting
to symbolize stone. In the hotel office she could see a stretch
of bare unclean floor, a line of rickety chairs with brass
cuspidors between, a writing-desk with advertisements in
mother-of-pearl letters upon the glass-covered back. The
dining-room beyond was a jungle of stained table-cloths and
catsup bottles.
She looked no more at the Minniemashie House.
A man in cuffless shirt-sleeves with pink arm-garters, wearing
a linen collar but no tie, yawned his way from Dyer's Drug
Store across to the hotel. He leaned against the wall, scratched
a while, sighed, and in a bored way gossiped with a man tilted
back in a chair. A lumber-wagon, its long green box filled
with large spools of barbed-wire fencing, creaked down the
block. A Ford, in reverse, sounded as though it were shaking
to pieces, then recovered and rattled away. In the Greek
candy-store was the whine of a peanut-roaster, and the oily
smell of nuts.
There was no other sound nor sign of life.
She wanted to run, fleeing from the encroaching prairie,
demanding the security of a great city. Her dreams of creating
a beautiful town were ludicrous. Oozing out from every
drab wall, she felt a forbidding spirit which she could never
conquer.
She trailed down the street on one side, back on the other,
glancing into the cross streets. It was a private Seeing Main
Street tour. She was within ten minutes beholding not only
the heart of a place called Gopher Prairie, but ten thousand
towns from Albany to San Diego:
Dyer's Drug Store, a corner building of regular and unreal
blocks of artificial stone. Inside the store, a greasy marble
soda-fountain with an electric lamp of red and green and
curdled-yellow mosaic shade. Pawed-over heaps of tooth-
brushes and combs and packages of shaving-soap. Shelves
of soap-cartons teething-rings, garden-seeds, and patent
medicines in yellow packages-nostrums for consumption, for
"women's diseases"--notorious mixtures of opium and alco-
hol, in the very shop to which her husband sent patients for
the filling of prescriptions.
From a second-story window the sign "W. P. Kennicott,
Phys. & Surgeon," gilt on black sand.
A small wooden motion-picture theater called "The
Rosebud Movie Palace." Lithographs announcing a film called
"Fatty in Love."
Howland & Gould's Grocery. In the display window, black,
overripe bananas and lettuce on which a cat was sleeping.
Shelves lined with red crepe paper which was now faded and
torn and concentrically spotted. Flat against the wall of the
second story the signs of lodges--the Knights of Pythias,
the Maccabees, the Woodmen, the Masons.
Dahl & Oleson's Meat Market--a reek of blood.
A jewelry shop with tinny-looking wrist-watches for women.
In front of it, at the curb, a huge wooden clock which did not
go.
A fly-buzzing saloon with a brilliant gold and enamel whisky
sign across the front. Other saloons down the block. From
them a stink of stale beer, and thick voices bellowing pidgin
German or trolling out dirty songs--vice gone feeble and
unenterprising and dull--the delicacy of a mining-camp minus its
vigor. In front of the saloons, farmwives sitting on the seats of
wagons, waiting for their husbands to become drunk and ready
to start home.
A tobacco shop called "The Smoke House," filled with young
men shaking dice for cigarettes. Racks of magazines, and
pictures of coy fat prostitutes in striped bathing-suits.
A clothing store with a display of "ox-blood-shade Oxfords
with bull-dog toes." Suits which looked worn and glossless
while they were still new, flabbily draped on dummies like
corpses with painted cheeks.
The Bon Ton Store--Haydock & Simons'--the largest shop
in town. The first-story front of clear glass, the plates cleverly
bound at the edges with brass. The second story of pleasant
tapestry brick. One window of excellent clothes for men,
interspersed with collars of floral pique which showed mauve
daisies on a saffron ground. Newness and an obvious notion
of neatness and service. Haydock & Simons. Haydock. She
had met a Haydock at the station; Harry Haydock; an active
person of thirty-five. He seemed great to her, now, and very
like a saint. His shop was clean!
Axel Egge's General Store, frequented by Scandinavian
farmers. In the shallow dark window-space heaps of sleazy
sateens, badly woven galateas, canvas shoes designed for
women with bulging ankles, steel and red glass buttons upon
cards with broken edges, a cottony blanket, a granite-ware
frying-pan reposing on a sun-faded crepe blouse.
Sam Clark's Hardware Store. An air of frankly metallic
enterprise. Guns and churns and barrels of nails and beautiful
shiny butcher knives.
Chester Dashaway's House Furnishing Emporium. A vista
of heavy oak rockers with leather seats, asleep in a dismal
row.
Billy's Lunch. Thick handleless cups on the wet oilcloth-
covered counter. An odor of onions and the smoke of hot
lard. In the doorway a young man audibly sucking a toothpick.
The warehouse of the buyer of cream and potatoes. The
sour smell of a dairy.
The Ford Garage and the Buick Garage, competent one-
story brick and cement buildings opposite each other. Old
and new cars on grease-blackened concrete floors. Tire
advertisements. The roaring of a tested motor; a racket which
beat at the nerves. Surly young men in khaki union-overalls.
The most energetic and vital places in town.
A large warehouse for agricultural implements. An impressive
barricade of green and gold wheels, of shafts and sulky
seats, belonging to machinery of which Carol knew nothing--
potato-planters, manure-spreaders, silage-cutters, disk-harrows,
breaking-plows.
A feed store, its windows opaque with the dust of bran, a
patent medicine advertisement painted on its roof.
Ye Art Shoppe, Prop. Mrs. Mary Ellen Wilks, Christian
Science Library open daily free. A touching fumble at beauty.
A one-room shanty of boards recently covered with rough
stucco. A show-window delicately rich in error: vases starting
out to imitate tree-trunks but running off into blobs of gilt--
an aluminum ash-tray labeled "Greetings from Gopher Prairie"
--a Christian Science magazine--a stamped sofa-cushion
portraying a large ribbon tied to a small poppy, the correct
skeins of embroidery-silk lying on the pillow. Inside the shop,
a glimpse of bad carbon prints of bad and famous pictures,
shelves of phonograph records and camera films, wooden toys,
and in the midst an anxious small woman sitting in a padded
rocking chair.
A barber shop and pool room. A man in shirt sleeves,
presumably Del Snafflin the proprietor, shaving a man who had
a large Adam's apple.
Nat Hicks's Tailor Shop, on a side street off Main. A one-
story building. A fashion-plate showing human pitchforks
in garments which looked as hard as steel plate.
On another side street a raw red-brick Catholic Church with
a varnished yellow door.
The post-office--merely a partition of glass and brass
shutting off the rear of a mildewed room which must once have
been a shop. A tilted writing-shelf against a wall rubbed black
and scattered with official notices and army recruiting-posters.
The damp, yellow-brick schoolbuilding in its cindery grounds.
The State Bank, stucco masking wood.
The Farmers' National Bank. An Ionic temple of marble.
Pure, exquisite, solitary. A brass plate with "Ezra Stowbody,
Pres't."
A score of similar shops and establishments.
Behind them and mixed with them, the houses, meek cottages
or large, comfortable, soundly uninteresting symbols of prosperity.
In all the town not one building save the Ionic bank which
gave pleasure to Carol's eyes; not a dozen buildings which
suggested that, in the fifty years of Gopher Prairie's existence, the
citizens had realized that it was either desirable or possible to
make this, their common home, amusing or attractive.
It was not only the unsparing unapologetic ugliness and the
rigid straightness which overwhelmed her. It was the planlessness,
the flimsy temporariness of the buildings, their faded
unpleasant colors. The street was cluttered with electric-
light poles, telephone poles, gasoline pumps for motor cars,
boxes of goods. Each man had built with the most valiant
disregard of all the others. Between a large new "block" of
two-story brick shops on one side, and the fire-brick Overland
garage on the other side, was a one-story cottage turned into
a millinery shop. The white temple of the Farmers' Bank
was elbowed back by a grocery of glaring yellow brick. One
store-building had a patchy galvanized iron cornice; the
building beside it was crowned with battlements and pyramids of
brick capped with blocks of red sandstone.
She escaped from Main Street, fled home.
She wouldn't have cared, she insisted, if the people had
been comely. She had noted a young man loafing before a
shop, one unwashed hand holding the cord of an awning; a
middle-aged man who had a way of staring at women as
though he had been married too long and too prosaically; an
old farmer, solid, wholesome, but not clean--his face like a
potato fresh from the earth. None of them had shaved for three
days.
"If they can't build shrines, out here on the prairie, surely
there's nothing to prevent their buying safety-razors!" she
raged.
She fought herself: "I must be wrong. People do live here.
It CAN'T be as ugly as--as I know it is! I must be wrong.
But I can't do it. I can't go through with it."
She came home too seriously worried for hysteria; and when
she found Kennicott waiting for her, and exulting, "Have a
walk? Well, like the town? Great lawns and trees, eh?"
she was able to say, with a self-protective maturity new to
her, "It's very interesting."
III
The train which brought Carol to Gopher Prairie also
brought Miss Bea Sorenson.
Miss Bea was a stalwart, corn-colored, laughing young
woman, and she was bored by farm-work. She desired the
excitements of city-life, and the way to enjoy city-life was,
she had decided, to "go get a yob as hired girl in Gopher
Prairie." She contentedly lugged her pasteboard telescope from
the station to her cousin, Tina Malmquist, maid of all work
in the residence of Mrs. Luke Dawson.
"Vell, so you come to town," said Tina.
"Ya. Ay get a yob," said Bea.
"Vell. . . . You got a fella now?"
"Ya. Yim Yacobson."
"Vell. I'm glat to see you. How much you vant a veek?"
"Sex dollar."
"There ain't nobody pay dat. Vait! Dr. Kennicott, I
t'ink he marry a girl from de Cities. Maybe she pay dat.
Vell. You go take a valk."
"Ya," said Bea.
So it chanced that Carol Kennicott and Bea Sorenson were
viewing Main Street at the same time.
Bea had never before been in a town larger than Scandia
Crossing, which has sixty-seven inhabitants.
As she marched up the street she was meditating that it
didn't hardly seem like it was possible there could be so
many folks all in one place at the same time. My! It
would take years to get acquainted with them all. And swell
people, too! A fine big gentleman in a new pink shirt with
a diamond, and not no washed-out blue denim working-shirt.
A lovely lady in a longery dress (but it must be an awful hard
dress to wash). And the stores!
Not just three of them, like there were at Scandia Crossing,
but more than four whole blocks!
The Bon Ton Store--big as four barns--my! it would
simply scare a person to go in there, with seven or eight
clerks all looking at you. And the men's suits, on figures just
like human. And Axel Egge's, like home, lots of Swedes and
Norskes in there, and a card of dandy buttons, like rubies.
A drug store with a soda fountain that was just huge, awful
long, and all lovely marble; and on it there was a great big
lamp with the biggest shade you ever saw--all different kinds
colored glass stuck together; and the soda spouts, they were
silver, and they came right out of the bottom of the lamp-
stand! Behind the fountain there were glass shelves, and
bottles of new kinds of soft drinks, that nobody ever heard of.
Suppose a fella took you THERE!
A hotel, awful high, higher than Oscar Tollefson's new red barn;
three stories, one right on top of another; you had to stick your
head back to look clear up to the top. There was a swell
traveling man in there--probably been to Chicago, lots of times.
Oh, the dandiest people to know here! There was a lady
going by, you wouldn't hardly say she was any older than Bea
herself; she wore a dandy new gray suit and black pumps.
She almost looked like she was looking over the town, too.
But you couldn't tell what she thought. Bea would like to
be that way--kind of quiet, so nobody would get fresh. Kind
of--oh, elegant.
A Lutheran Church. Here in the city there'd be lovely
sermons, and church twice on Sunday, EVERY Sunday!
And a movie show!
A regular theater, just for movies. With the sign "Change
of bill every evening." Pictures every evening!
There were movies in Scandia Crossing, but only once every
two weeks, and it took the Sorensons an hour to drive in--
papa was such a tightwad he wouldn't get a Ford. But here
she could put on her hat any evening, and in three minutes'
walk be to the movies, and see lovely fellows in dress-suits
and Bill Hart and everything!
How could they have so many stores? Why! There was
one just for tobacco alone, and one (a lovely one--the Art
Shoppy it was) for pictures and vases and stuff, with oh, the
dandiest vase made so it looked just like a tree trunk!
Bea stood on the corner of Main Street and Washington
Avenue. The roar of the city began to frighten her. There
were five automobuls on the street all at the same time--and
one of 'em was a great big car that must of cost two thousand
dollars--and the 'bus was starting for a train with five elegant-
dressed fellows, and a man was pasting up red bills with lovely
pictures of washing-machines on them. and the jeweler was laying
out bracelets and wrist-watches and EVERYTHING on real velvet.
What did she care if she got six dollars a week? Or two!
It was worth while working for nothing, to be allowed to stay
here. And think how it would be in the evening, all lighted
up--and not with no lamps, but with electrics! And maybe a
gentleman friend taking you to the movies and buying you a
strawberry ice cream soda!
Bea trudged back.
"Vell? You lak it?" said Tina.
"Ya. Ay lak it. Ay t'ink maybe Ay stay here," said Bea.
IV
The recently built house of Sam Clark, in which was given
the party to welcome Carol, was one of the largest in Gopher
Prairie. It had a clean sweep of clapboards, a solid squareness,
a small tower, and a large screened porch. Inside, it was as
shiny, as hard, and as cheerful as a new oak upright piano.
Carol looked imploringly at Sam Clark as he rolled to the
door and shouted, "Welcome, little lady! The keys of the
city are yourn!"
Beyond him, in the hallway and the living-room, sitting in
a vast prim circle as though they were attending a funeral,
she saw the guests. They were WAITING so! They were waiting
for her! The determination to be all one pretty flowerlet
of appreciation leaked away. She begged of Sam, "I don't
dare face them! They expect so much. They'll swallow me
in one mouthful--glump!--like that!"
"Why, sister, they're going to love you--same as I would
if I didn't think the doc here would beat me up!"
"B-but---- I don't dare! Faces to the right of me, faces
in front of me, volley and wonder!"
She sounded hysterical to herself; she fancied that to Sam
Clark she sounded insane. But he chuckled, "Now you just
cuddle under Sam's wing, and if anybody rubbers at you too
long, I'll shoo 'em off. Here we go! Watch my smoke--
Sam'l, the ladies' delight and the bridegrooms' terror!"
His arm about her, he led her in and bawled, "Ladies and
worser halves, the bride! We won't introduce her round yet,
because she'll never get your bum names straight anyway.
Now bust up this star-chamber!"
They tittered politely, but they did not move from the social
security of their circle, and they did not cease staring.
Carol had given creative energy to dressing for the event.
Her hair was demure, low on her forehead with a parting and
a coiled braid. Now she wished that she had piled it high.
Her frock was an ingenue slip of lawn, with a wide gold sash
and a low square neck, which gave a suggestion of throat and
molded shoulders. But as they looked her over she was
certain that it was all wrong. She wished alternately that she
had worn a spinsterish high-necked dress, and that she had
dared to shock them with a violent brick-red scarf which she
had bought in Chicago.
She was led about the circle. Her voice mechanically
produced safe remarks:
"Oh, I'm sure I'm going to like it here ever so much," and
"Yes, we did have the best time in Colorado--mountains,"
and "Yes, I lived in St. Paul several years. Euclid P. Tinker?
No, I don't REMEMBER meeting him, but I'm pretty sure I've
heard of him."
Kennicott took her aside and whispered, "Now I'll introduce
you to them, one at a time."
"Tell me about them first."
"Well, the nice-looking couple over there are Harry Hay-
dock and his wife, Juanita. Harry's dad owns most of the
Bon Ton, but it's Harry who runs it and gives it the pep.
He's a hustler. Next to him is Dave Dyer the druggist--you
met him this afternoon--mighty good duck-shot. The tall
husk beyond him is Jack Elder--Jackson Elder--owns the
planing-mill, and the Minniemashie House, and quite a share
in the Farmers' National Bank. Him and his wife are good
sports--him and Sam and I go hunting together a lot. The
old cheese there is Luke Dawson, the richest man in town.
Next to him is Nat Hicks, the tailor."
"Really? A tailor?"
"Sure. Why not? Maybe we're slow, but we are democratic.
I go hunting with Nat same as I do with Jack Elder."
"I'm glad. I've never met a tailor socially. It must be
charming to meet one and not have to think about what you
owe him. And do you---- Would you go hunting with your
barber, too?"
"No but---- No use running this democracy thing into the
ground. Besides, I've known Nat for years, and besides, he's
a mighty good shot and---- That's the way it is, see? Next
to Nat is Chet Dashaway. Great fellow for chinning. He'll
talk your arm off, about religion or politics or books or
anything."
Carol gazed with a polite approximation to interest at
Mr. Dashaway, a tan person with a wide mouth. "Oh, I
know! He's the furniture-store man!" She was much pleased
with herself.
"Yump, and he's the undertaker. You'll like him. Come
shake hands with him."
"Oh no, no! He doesn't--he doesn't do the embalming
and all that--himself? I couldn't shake hands with an undertaker!"
"Why not? You'd be proud to shake hands with a great
surgeon, just after he'd been carving up people's bellies."
She sought to regain her afternoon's calm of maturity.
"Yes. You're right. I want--oh, my dear, do you know how
much I want to like the people you like? I want to see people
as they are."
"Well, don't forget to see people as other folks see them
as they are! They have the stuff. Did you know that Percy
Bresnahan came from here? Born and brought up here!"
"Bresnahan?"
"Yes--you know--president of the Velvet Motor Company
of Boston, Mass.--make the Velvet Twelve--biggest automobile
factory in New England."
"I think I've heard of him."
"Sure you have. Why, he's a millionaire several times over!
Well, Perce comes back here for the black-bass fishing almost
every summer, and he says if he could get away from business,
he'd rather live here than in Boston or New York or any of
those places. HE doesn't mind Chet's undertaking."
"Please! I'll--I'll like everybody! I'll be the community sunbeam!"
He led her to the Dawsons.
Luke Dawson, lender of money on mortgages, owner of
Northern cut-over land, was a hesitant man in unpressed
soft gray clothes, with bulging eyes in a milky face. His wife
had bleached cheeks, bleached hair, bleached voice, and a
bleached manner. She wore her expensive green frock, with
its passementeried bosom, bead tassels, and gaps between the
buttons down the back, as though she had bought it second-
hand and was afraid of meeting the former owner. They were
shy. It was "Professor" George Edwin Mott, superintendent
of schools, a Chinese mandarin turned brown, who held
Carol's hand and made her welcome.
When the Dawsons and Mr. Mott had stated that they were
"pleased to meet her," there seemed to be nothing else to say,
but the conversation went on automatically.
"Do you like Gopher Prairie?" whimpered Mrs. Dawson.
"Oh, I'm sure I'm going to be ever so happy."
"There's so many nice people." Mrs. Dawson looked to
Mr. Mott for social and intellectual aid. He lectured:
"There's a fine class of people. I don't like some of these
retired farmers who come here to spend their last days--
especially the Germans. They hate to pay school-taxes. They
hate to spend a cent. But the rest are a fine class of people.
Did you know that Percy Bresnahan came from here? Used
to go to school right at the old building!"
"I heard he did."
"Yes. He's a prince. He and I went fishing together, last
time he was here.
The Dawsons and Mr. Mott teetered upon weary feet, and
smiled at Carol with crystallized expressions. She went on:
"Tell me, Mr. Mott: Have you ever tried any experiments
with any of the new educational systems? The modern kindergarten
methods or the Gary system?"
"Oh. Those. Most of these would-be reformers are simply
notoriety-seekers. I believe in manual training, but Latin and
mathematics always will be the backbone of sound Americanism,
no matter what these faddists advocate--heaven knows
what they do want--knitting, I suppose, and classes in wiggling
the ears!"
The Dawsons smiled their appreciation of listening to a
savant. Carol waited till Kennicott should rescue her. The
rest of the party waited for the miracle of being amused.
Harry and Juanita Haydock, Rita Simons and Dr. Terry
Gould--the young smart set of Gopher Prairie. She was led
to them. Juanita Haydock flung at her in a high, cackling,
friendly voice:
"Well, this is SO nice to have you here. We'll have some
good parties--dances and everything. You'll have to join the
Jolly Seventeen. We play bridge and we have a supper once
a month. You play, of course?"
"N-no, I don't."
"Really? In St. Paul?"
"I've always been such a book-worm."
"We'll have to teach you. Bridge is half the fun of life."
Juanita had become patronizing, and she glanced disrespectfully
at Carol's golden sash, which she had previously admired.
Harry Haydock said politely, "How do you think you're
going to like the old burg?"
"I'm sure I shall like it tremendously."
"Best people on earth here. Great hustlers, too. Course
I've had lots of chances to go live in Minneapolis, but we
like it here. Real he-town. Did you know that Percy Bresnahan
came from here?"
Carol perceived that she had been weakened in the biological
struggle by disclosing her lack of bridge. Roused to nervous
desire to regain her position she turned on Dr. Terry Gould,
the young and pool-playing competitor of her husband. Her
eyes coquetted with him while she gushed:
"I'll learn bridge. But what I really love most is the
outdoors. Can't we all get up a boating party, and fish, or
whatever you do, and have a picnic supper afterwards?"
"Now you're talking!" Dr. Gould affirmed. He looked
rather too obviously at the cream-smooth slope of her shoulder.
"Like fishing?. Fishing is my middle name. I'll teach you
bridge. Like cards at all?"
"I used to be rather good at bezique."
She knew that bezique was a game of cards--or a game of
something else. Roulette, possibly. But her lie was a triumph.
Juanita's handsome, high-colored, horsey face showed doubt.
Harry stroked his nose and said humbly, "Bezique? Used
to be great gambling game, wasn't it?"
While others drifted to her group, Carol snatched up the
conversation. She laughed and was frivolous and rather brittle.
She could not distinguish their eyes. They were a blurry
theater-audience before which she self-consciously enacted the
comedy of being the Clever Little Bride of Doc Kennicott:
"These-here celebrated Open Spaces, that's what I'm going
out for. I'll never read anything but the sporting-page again.
Will converted me on our Colorado trip. There were so
many mousey tourists who were afraid to get out of the motor
'bus that I decided to be Annie Oakley, the Wild Western
Wampire, and I bought oh! a vociferous skirt which revealed
my perfectly nice ankles to the Presbyterian glare of all the
Ioway schoolma'ams, and I leaped from peak to peak like the
nimble chamoys, and---- You may think that Herr Doctor
Kennicott is a Nimrod, but you ought to have seen me daring
him to strip to his B. V. D.'s and go swimming in an icy
mountain brook."
She knew that they were thinking of becoming shocked, but
Juanita Haydock was admiring, at least. She swaggered on:
"I'm sure I'm going to ruin Will as a respectable
practitioner---- Is he a good doctor, Dr. Gould?"
Kennicott's rival gasped at this insult to professional ethics,
and he took an appreciable second before he recovered his
social manner. "I'll tell you, Mrs. Kennicott." He smiled
at Kennicott, to imply that whatever he might say in the
stress of being witty was not to count against him in the
commercio-medical warfare. "There's some people in town
that say the doc is a fair to middlin' diagnostician and
prescription-writer, but let me whisper this to you--but for
heaven's sake don't tell him I said so--don't you ever go to
him for anything more serious than a pendectomy of the left
ear or a strabismus of the cardiograph."
No one save Kennicott knew exactly what this meant, but
they laughed, and Sam Clark's party assumed a glittering
lemon-yellow color of brocade panels and champagne and tulle
and crystal chandeliers and sporting duchesses. Carol saw
that George Edwin Mott and the blanched Mr. and Mrs.
Dawson were not yet hypnotized. They looked as though they
wondered whether they ought to look as though they
disapproved. She concentrated on them:
"But I know whom I wouldn't have dared to go to Colorado
with! Mr. Dawson there! I'm sure he's a regular heart-
breaker. When we were introduced he held my hand and
squeezed it frightfully."
"Haw! Haw! Haw!" The entire company applauded. Mr.
Dawson was beatified. He had been called many things--
loan-shark, skinflint, tightwad, pussyfoot--but he had never
before been called a flirt.
"He is wicked, isn't he, Mrs. Dawson? Don't you have to
lock him up?"
"Oh no, but maybe I better," attempted Mrs. Dawson, a
tint on her pallid face.
For fifteen minutes Carol kept it up. She asserted that she
was going to stage a musical comedy, that she preferred cafe
parfait to beefsteak, that she hoped Dr. Kennicott would never
lose his ability to make love to charming women, and that
she had a pair of gold stockings. They gaped for more. But
she could not keep it up. She retired to a chair behind Sam
Clark's bulk. The smile-wrinkles solemnly flattened out in
the faces of all the other collaborators in having a party, and
again they stood about hoping but not expecting to be amused.
Carol listened. She discovered that conversation did not
exist in Gopher Prairie. Even at this affair, which brought
out the young smart set, the hunting squire set, the respectable
intellectual set, and the solid financial set, they sat up
with gaiety as with a corpse.
Juanita Haydock talked a good deal in her rattling voice
but it was invariably of personalities: the rumor that Raymie
Wutherspoon was going to send for a pair of patent leather
shoes with gray buttoned tops; the rheumatism of Champ
Perry; the state of Guy Pollock's grippe; and the dementia of
Jim Howland in painting his fence salmon-pink.
Sam Clark had been talking to Carol about motor cars,
but he felt his duties as host. While he droned, his brows
popped up and down. He interrupted himself, "Must stir
'em up." He worried at his wife, "Don't you think I better
stir 'em up?" He shouldered into the center of the room, and
cried:
"Let's have some stunts, folks."
"Yes, let's!" shrieked Juanita Haydock.
"Say, Dave, give us that stunt about the Norwegian catching
a hen."
"You bet; that's a slick stunt; do that, Dave!" cheered
Chet Dashaway.
Mr. Dave Dyer obliged.
All the guests moved their lips in anticipation of being called
on for their own stunts.
"Ella, come on and recite `Old Sweetheart of Mine,' for
us," demanded Sam.
Miss Ella Stowbody, the spinster daughter of the Ionic bank,
scratched her dry palms and blushed. "Oh, you don't want
to hear that old thing again."
"Sure we do! You bet!" asserted Sam.
"My voice is in terrible shape tonight."
"Tut! Come on!"
Sam loudly explained to Carol, "Ella is our shark at
elocuting. She's had professional training. She studied singing and
oratory and dramatic art and shorthand for a year, in Milwaukee."
Miss Stowbody was reciting. As encore to "An Old Sweetheart
of Mine," she gave a peculiarly optimistic poem regarding
the value of smiles.
There were four other stunts: one Jewish, one Irish, one
juvenile, and Nat Hicks's parody of Mark Antony's funeral
oration.
During the winter Carol was to hear Dave Dyer's hen-
catching impersonation seven times, "An Old Sweetheart of
Mine" nine times, the Jewish story and the funeral oration
twice; but now she was ardent and, because she did so want
to be happy and simple-hearted, she was as disappointed as
the others when the stunts were finished, and the party
instantly sank back into coma.
They gave up trying to be festive; they began to talk
naturally, as they did at their shops and homes.
The men and women divided, as they had been tending to
do all evening. Carol was deserted by the men, left to a
group of matrons who steadily pattered of children, sickness,
and cooks--their own shop-talk. She was piqued. She re-
membered visions of herself as a smart married woman in a
drawing-room, fencing with clever men. Her dejection was
relieved by speculation as to what the men were discussing, in
the corner between the piano and the phonograph. Did they
rise from these housewifely personalities to a larger world
of abstractions and affairs?
She made her best curtsy to Mrs. Dawson; she twittered,
"I won't have my husband leaving me so soon! I'm going
over and pull the wretch's ears." She rose with a jeune fille
bow. She was self-absorbed and self-approving because she
had attained that quality of sentimentality. She proudly
dipped across the room and, to the interest and commendation
of all beholders, sat on the arm of Kennicott's chair.
He was gossiping with Sam Clark, Luke Dawson, Jackson
Elder of the planing-mill, Chet Dashaway, Dave Dyer, Harry
Haydock, and Ezra Stowbody, president of the Ionic bank.
Ezra Stowbody was a troglodyte. He had come to Gopher
Prairie in 1865. He was a distinguished bird of prey--
swooping thin nose, turtle mouth, thick brows, port-wine
cheeks, floss of white hair, contemptuous eyes. He was not
happy in the social changes of thirty years. Three decades
ago, Dr. Westlake, Julius Flickerbaugh the lawyer, Merriman
Peedy the Congregational pastor and himself had been the
arbiters. That was as it should be; the fine arts--medicine,
law, religion, and finance--recognized as aristocratic; four
Yankees democratically chatting with but ruling the Ohioans
and Illini and Swedes and Germans who had ventured to
follow them. But Westlake was old, almost retired; Julius
Flickerbaugh had lost much of his practice to livelier attorneys;
Reverend (not The Reverend) Peedy was dead; and nobody
was impressed in this rotten age of automobiles by the
"spanking grays" which Ezra still drove. The town was as
heterogeneous as Chicago. Norwegians and Germans owned stores.
The social leaders were common merchants. Selling nails was
considered as sacred as banking. These upstarts--the Clarks,
the Haydocks--had no dignity. They were sound and
conservative in politics, but they talked about motor cars and
pump-guns and heaven only knew what new-fangled fads. Mr.
Stowbody felt out of place with them. But his brick house
with the mansard roof was still the largest residence in town,
and he held his position as squire by occasionally appearing
among the younger men and reminding them by a wintry eye
that without the banker none of them could carry on their
vulgar businesses.
As Carol defied decency by sitting down with the men, Mr.
Stowbody was piping to Mr. Dawson, "Say, Luke, when was't
Biggins first settled in Winnebago Township? Wa'n't it in
1879?"
"Why no 'twa'n't!" Mr. Dawson was indignant. "He
come out from Vermont in 1867--no, wait, in 1868, it must
have been--and took a claim on the Rum River, quite a ways
above Anoka."
"He did not!" roared Mr. Stowbody. "He settled first
in Blue Earth County, him and his father!"
("What's the point at issue?" Carol whispered to Kennicott.
("Whether this old duck Biggins had an English setter or
a Llewellyn. They've been arguing it all evening!")
Dave Dyer interrupted to give tidings, "D' tell you that
Clara Biggins was in town couple days ago? She bought a
hot-water bottle--expensive one, too--two dollars and thirty
cents!"
"Yaaaaaah!" snarled Mr. Stowbody. "Course. She's just
like her grandad was. Never save a cent. Two dollars and
twenty--thirty, was it?--two dollars and thirty cents for a
hot-water bottle! Brick wrapped up in a flannel petticoat just
as good, anyway!"
"How's Ella's tonsils, Mr. Stowbody?" yawned Chet Dashaway.
While Mr. Stowbody gave a somatic and psychic study of
them, Carol reflected, "Are they really so terribly interested
in Ella's tonsils, or even in Ella's esophagus? I wonder if I
could get them away from personalities? Let's risk damnation
and try."
"There hasn't been much labor trouble around here, has
there, Mr. Stowbody?" she asked innocently.
"No, ma'am, thank God, we've been free from that, except
maybe with hired girls and farm-hands. Trouble enough with
these foreign farmers; if you don't watch these Swedes they
turn socialist or populist or some fool thing on you in a
minute. Of course, if they have loans you can make 'em
listen to reason. I just have 'em come into the bank for a
talk, and tell 'em a few things. I don't mind their being
democrats, so much, but I won't stand having socialists around.
But thank God, we ain't got the labor trouble they have in
these cities. Even Jack Elder here gets along pretty well, in
the planing-mill, don't you, Jack?"
"Yep. Sure. Don't need so many skilled workmen in my
place, and it's a lot of these cranky, wage-hogging, half-
baked skilled mechanics that start trouble--reading a lot of
this anarchist literature and union papers and all."
"Do you approve of union labor?" Carol inquired of Mr.
Elder.
"Me? I should say not! It's like this: I don't mind
dealing with my men if they think they've got any grievances--
though Lord knows what's come over workmen, nowadays--
don't appreciate a good job. But still, if they come to me
honestly, as man to man, I'll talk things over with them.
But I'm not going to have any outsider, any of these walking
delegates, or whatever fancy names they call themselves now--
bunch of rich grafters, living on the ignorant workmen! Not
going to have any of those fellows butting in and telling ME
how to run MY business!"
Mr. Elder was growing more excited, more belligerent and
patriotic. "I stand for freedom and constitutional rights. If
any man don't like my shop, he can get up and git. Same way,
if I don't like him, he gits. And that's all there is to it. I
simply can't understand all these complications and hoop-te-
doodles and government reports and wage-scales and God
knows what all that these fellows are balling up the labor
situation with, when it's all perfectly simple. They like what
I pay 'em, or they get out. That's all there is to it!"
"What do you think of profit-sharing?" Carol ventured.
Mr. Elder thundered his answer, while the others nodded,
solemnly and in tune, like a shop-window of flexible toys,
comic mandarins and judges and ducks and clowns, set quivering
by a breeze from the open door:
"All this profit-sharing and welfare work and insurance and
old-age pension is simply poppycock. Enfeebles a workman's
independence--and wastes a lot of honest profit. The half-
baked thinker that isn't dry behind the ears yet, and these
suffragettes and God knows what all buttinskis there are that
are trying to tell a business man how to run his business, and
some of these college professors are just about as bad, the
whole kit and bilin' of 'em are nothing in God's world but
socialism in disguise! And it's my bounden duty as a pro-
ducer to resist every attack on the integrity of American
industry to the last ditch. Yes--SIR!"
Mr. Elder wiped his brow.
Dave Dyer added, "Sure! You bet! What they ought to
do is simply to hang every one of these agitators, and that
would settle the whole thing right off. Don't you think so,
doc?"
"You bet," agreed Kennicott.
The conversation was at last relieved of the plague of Carol's
intrusions and they settled down to the question of whether
the justice of the peace had sent that hobo drunk to jail for
ten days or twelve. It was a matter not readily determined.
Then Dave Dyer communicated his carefree adventures on the
gipsy trail:
"Yep. I get good time out of the flivver. 'Bout a week
ago I motored down to New Wurttemberg. That's forty-
three---- No, let's see: It's seventeen miles to Belldale, and
'bout six and three-quarters, call it seven, to Torgenquist, and
it's a good nineteen miles from there to New Wurttemberg--
seventeen and seven and nineteen, that makes, uh, let me see:
seventeen and seven 's twenty-four, plus nineteen, well say
plus twenty, that makes forty-four, well anyway, say about
forty-three or -four miles from here to New Wurttemberg. We
got started about seven-fifteen, prob'ly seven-twenty, because
I had to stop and fill the radiator, and we ran along, just keeping
up a good steady gait----"
Mr. Dyer did finally, for reasons and purposes admitted and
justified, attain to New Wurttemberg.
Once--only once--the presence of the alien Carol was
recognized. Chet Dashaway leaned over and said asthmatically,
"Say, uh, have you been reading this serial `Two Out' in
Tingling Tales? Corking yarn! Gosh, the fellow that wrote
it certainly can sling baseball slang!"
The others tried to look literary. Harry Haydock offered,
"Juanita is a great hand for reading high-class stuff, like
`Mid the Magnolias' by this Sara Hetwiggin Butts, and
`Riders of Ranch Reckless.' Books. But me," he glanced
about importantly, as one convinced that no other hero had
ever been in so strange a plight, "I'm so darn busy I don't
have much time to read."
"I never read anything I can't check against," said Sam Clark.
Thus ended the literary portion of the conversation, and
for seven minutes Jackson Elder outlined reasons for believing
that the pike-fishing was better on the west shore of Lake
Minniemashie than on the east--though it was indeed quite
true that on the east shore Nat Hicks had caught a pike
altogether admirable.
The talk went on. It did go on! Their voices were
monotonous, thick, emphatic. They were harshly pompous, like
men in the smoking-compartments of Pullman cars. They did
not bore Carol. They frightened her. She panted, "They
will be cordial to me, because my man belongs to their tribe.
God help me if I were an outsider!"
Smiling as changelessly as an ivory figurine she sat quiescent,
avoiding thought, glancing about the living-room and hall, noting
their betrayal of unimaginative commercial prosperity.
Kennicott said, "Dandy interior, eh? My idea of how a
place ought to be furnished. Modern." She looked polite,
and observed the oiled floors, hard-wood staircase, unused
fireplace with tiles which resembled brown linoleum, cut-glass
vases standing upon doilies, and the barred, shut, forbidding
unit bookcases that were half filled with swashbuckler novels
and unread-looking sets of Dickens, Kipling, O. Henry, and
Elbert Hubbard.
She perceived that even personalities were failing to hold
the party. The room filled with hesitancy as with a fog.
People cleared their throats, tried to choke down yawns. The
men shot their cuffs and the women stuck their combs more
firmly into their back hair.
Then a rattle, a daring hope in every eye, the swinging of
a door, the smell of strong coffee, Dave Dyer's mewing voice
in a triumphant, "The eats!" They began to chatter. They
had something to do; They could escape from themselves.
They fell upon the food--chicken sandwiches, maple cake,
drug-store ice cream. Even when the food was gone they
remained cheerful. They could go home, any time now, and go
to bed!
They went, with a flutter of coats, chiffon scarfs, and good-
bys.
Carol and Kennicott walked home.
"Did you like them?" he asked.
"They were terribly sweet to me."
"Uh, Carrie---- You ought to be more careful about
shocking folks. Talking about gold stockings, and about
showing your ankles to schoolteachers and all!" More
mildly: "You gave 'em a good time, but I'd watch out for
that, 'f I were you. Juanita Haydock is such a damn cat. I
wouldn't give her a chance to criticize me."
"My poor effort to lift up the party! Was I wrong to
try to amuse them?"
"No! No! Honey, I didn't mean---- You were the only
up-and-coming person in the bunch. I just mean---- Don't
get onto legs and all that immoral stuff. Pretty conservative
crowd."
She was silent, raw with the shameful thought that the
attentive circle might have been criticizing her, laughing at
her.
"Don't, please don't worry!" he pleaded.
Silence
"Gosh; I'm sorry I spoke about it. I just meant---- But
they were crazy about you. Sam said to me, `That little
lady of yours is the slickest thing that ever came to this
town,' he said; and Ma Dawson--I didn't hardly know
whether she'd like you or not, she's such a dried-up old bird,
but she said, `Your bride is so quick and bright, I declare,
she just wakes me up.' "
Carol liked praise, the flavor and fatness of it, but she was
so energetically being sorry for herself that she could not
taste this commendation.
"Please! Come on! Cheer up!" His lips said it, his
anxious shoulder said it, his arm about her said it, as they
halted on the obscure porch of their house.
"Do you care if they think I'm flighty, Will?"
"Me? Why, I wouldn't care if the whole world thought
you were this or that or anything else. You're my--well,
you're my soul!"
He was an undefined mass, as solid-seeming as rock. She
found his sleeve, pinched it, cried, "I'm glad! It's sweet to
be wanted! You must tolerate my frivolousness. You're all
I have!"
He lifted her, carried her into the house, and with her
arms about his neck she forgot Main Street. _
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