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How It All Came Round, a fiction by L. T. Meade |
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Chapter 41. No Wedding On The Twentieth |
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_ CHAPTER XLI. NO WEDDING ON THE TWENTIETH Charlotte was quite right in saying that now she could cry; a great tension had been removed, an immediate agony lightened. From the time she had left the doctor's presence until she had met Sandy Wilson, most intolerable had been her feelings. She would sink all pride when she saw him; for her father's sake, she would plead for mercy; but knowing nothing of the character of the man, how could she tell that she would be successful? How could she tell that he might not harden his heart against her plea? When she left him, however, she knew that her cause was won. Charlotte Home was to be the arbitrator of her fate; she had never in all her life seen such a hunger for money in any eyes as she had done in Charlotte's, and yet she felt a moral certainty that with Charlotte she was safe. In the immediate relief of this she could cry, and those tears were delicious to her. Returning from her drive, and in the solitude of her own room, she indulged in them, weeping on until no more tears would flow. They took the maddening pressure of heart and brain, and after them she felt strong and even calm. She had washed her face and smoothed her hair, and though she could not at once remove all trace of the storm through which she had just passed, she still looked better than she had done at breakfast that morning, when a tap came to her door, and Ward, her maid, waited outside. "If you please, Miss Harman, the dressmaker has called again. Will you have the wedding dress fitted now?" At the same instant and before Charlotte could reply, a footman appeared at the head of the stairs--"Mr. Hinton had arrived and was waiting for Miss Harman, in her own sitting-room." "Say, I will be with him directly," she answered to the man, then she turned to Ward. "I will send you with a message to the dressmaker this evening; tell her I am engaged now." The two messengers left, and Charlotte turned back into her room. She had to go through another fire. Well! the sooner it was over the better. She scarcely would give herself time for any thought as she ran quickly down the stairs and along the familiar corridor, and in a moment found herself in Hinton's presence. They had not met since yesterday morning, when they had parted in apparent coldness; but Hinton had long forgotten it, and now, when he saw her face, a great terror of pity and love came over him. "My darling! my own darling!" he said. He came up to her and put his arms round her. "Charlotte, what is it? You are in trouble? Tell me." Ah! how sweet it was to feel the pressure of his arms, to lay her head on his breast. She was silent for quite a minute, saying to herself, "It is for the last time." "You are in great trouble, Charlotte? Charlotte, what is it?" questioned her lover. "Yes, I am in great trouble," she said then, raising her head and looking at him. Her eyes were clear and frank and open as of old, and yet at that moment she meant to deceive him; she would not tell him the real reason which induced her to break off her engagement. She would shelter her father in the eyes of the man she loved, at any cost. "You are in great trouble," he repeated, seeing that she paused. "Yes, John--for myself--for my father--for--for you. Dear John, we cannot be married on the twentieth, we must part." "Charlotte!" he stepped back a pace or two in his astonishment, and her arms fell heavily to her sides. "Charlotte!" he repeated; he had failed to understand her. He gave a short laugh. She began to tremble when she heard him laugh, and seeing a chair near, she sunk into it. "Yes, John, we must part," she repeated. He went down on his knees then by her side, and looked into her face. "My poor darling, you are really not well; you are in trouble, and don't know what you are saying. Tell me all your trouble, Charlotte, but don't mind those other words. It is impossible that you and I can part. Have we not plighted our troth before God? We cannot take that back. Therefore we cannot part." "In heart we may be one, but outwardly we must part," she repeated, and then she began to cry feebly, for she was all unstrung. Hinton's words were too much for her. "Tell me all," he said then, very tenderly. "John, a dark thing was kept from me, but I have discovered it. My father is dying. How can I marry on the twentieth, when my father is dying?" Hinton instantly felt a sense of relief. Was this all the meaning of this great trouble? This objection meant, at the most, postponement, scarcely that, when Charlotte knew all. "How did you learn that about your father?" he said. "I went to see some poor people yesterday, and they told me; but that was not enough. To-day I visited the great doctor. My father has seen Sir George Anderson; he told me all. My father is a dying man. John, can you ask me to marry when my father is dying?" "I could not, Charlotte, if it were not his own wish." "His own wish?" she repeated. "Yes! some time ago he told me of this; he said the one great thing he longed for was to see you and me--you and me, my own Charlotte--husband and wife before he died." "Why did he keep his state of health as a secret from me?" "I begged of him to tell you, but he wanted you to be his own bright Charlotte to the end." Then Hinton told her of that first interview he had with her father. He told it well, but she hardly listened. Must she tell him the truth after all? No! she would not. During her father's lifetime she would shield him at any cost. Afterwards, ah! afterwards all the world would know. When Hinton had ceased speaking, she laid her hand on his arm. "Nevertheless, my darling, I cannot marry next week. I know you will fail to understand me. I know my father will fail to understand me. That is hard--the hardest part, but I am doing right. Some day you will acknowledge that. With my father dying I cannot stand up in white and call myself a bride. My marriage-day was to have been the entrance into Paradise to me. With a funeral so near, and so certain, it cannot be that. John--John--I--cannot--I cannot. We must not marry next week." "You put it off, then? You deny your dying father his dearest wish? That is not like you, Charlotte." "No, it is unlike me. Everything, always, again, will be unlike me. If you put it so, I deny my father his dearest wish." "Charlotte, I fail to understand you. You will not marry during your father's lifetime. But it may be very quiet--very--very quiet, I can manage that; and you need not leave him, you can still be altogether his daughter, and yet make him happy by letting him feel that you are also my wife; that I have the right to shield you, the right to love and comfort you. Come, Charlotte! come, my darling! we won't have any outward festivity, any outward rejoicing. This is but natural, this can be managed, and yet we may have that which is above and beyond it all--one another. We may be one in our sorrow instead of our joy." "Oh! if it could be," she sobbed; and now again she laid her head on his shoulder. "It shall be, Charlotte; we will marry like that on the twentieth. I will manage it with your father." "No John! no, my dearest, my best beloved, I cannot be your wife. Loving you as I never--never--loved you before, I give you up; it is worse than the agony of death to me. But I give you up." "You postpone our marriage during your father's lifetime?" "I postpone it--I do more--I break it off. Oh! John, don't look at me like that; pity me--pity me, my heart will break." But he had pushed her a little away from him. Pale as death he rose to his feet. "Charlotte! you are deceiving me; you have another reason for this?" "If you will have it so," she said. "You are keeping a secret from me." "I do not say so, but you are likely enough to think this," she repeated. "Can you deny it?" "I will not try, I know we must part." "If this is so, we must. A secret between husband and wife is fatal." "It would be, but I admit nothing, we cannot be husband and wife." "Never, Charlotte?" "Never!" she said. Hinton thought for a moment, and then he came up and again took her hand. "Lottie, tell me that secret; trust me; I know there is a secret, tell it to me, all of it, let me decide whether it must part us." "I cannot, my darling--my darling--I can say nothing, explain nothing, except that you and I must part." "If that is so, we must," he said. He was pained, shocked, and angry, beyond words. He left the room and the house without even another look. _ |
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