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Not George Washington: An Autobiographical Novel, a fiction by P G Wodehouse |
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Narrative Resumed By James Orlebar Cloyster - Chapter 24. A Rift In The Clouds |
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_ O perfidy of woman! O feminine inconstancy! That is the only allusion I shall permit to escape me on the subject of Eva Eversleigh's engagement to that scoundrel Julian. I had the news by telegraph, and the heavens darkened above me, whilst the solid earth rocked below. I had been trapped into dishonour, and even the bait had been withheld from me. But it was not the loss of Eva that troubled me most. It should have outweighed all my other misfortunes and made them seem of no account, but it did not. Man is essentially a materialist. The prospect of an empty stomach is more serious to him than a broken heart. A broken heart is the luxury of the well-to-do. What troubled me more than all other things at this juncture was the thought that I was face to face with starvation, and that only the grimmest of fights could enable me to avoid it. I quaked at the prospect. The early struggles of the writer to keep his head above water form an experience which does not bear repetition. The hopeless feeling of chipping a little niche for oneself out of the solid rock with a nib is a nightmare even in times of prosperity. I remembered the grey days of my literary apprenticeship, and I shivered at the thought that I must go through them again. I examined my position dispassionately over a cup of coffee at Groom's, in Fleet Street. Groom's was a recognised _Orb rendezvous_. When I was doing "On Your Way," one or two of us used to go down Fleet Street for coffee after the morning's work with the regularity of machines. It formed a recognised break in the day. I thought things over. How did I stand? Holiday work at the _Orb_ would begin very shortly, so that I should get a good start in my race. Fermin would be going away in a few weeks, then Gresham, and after that Fane, the man who did the "People and Things" column. With luck I ought to get a clear fifteen weeks of regular work. It would just save me. In fifteen weeks I ought to have got going again. The difficulty was that I had dropped out. Editors had forgotten my work. John Hatton they knew, and Sidney Price they knew; but who was James Orlebar Cloyster? There would be much creaking of joints and wobbling of wheels before my triumphal car could gather speed again. But, with a regular salary coming in week by week from the _Orb_, I could endure this. I became almost cheerful. It is an exhilarating sensation having one's back against the wall. Then there was Briggs, the actor. The very thought of him was a tonic. A born fighter, with the energy of six men, he was an ideal model for me. If I could work with a sixth of his dash and pluck, I should be safe. He was giving me work. He might give me more. The new edition of the _Belle of Wells_ was due in another fortnight. My lyrics would be used, and I should get paid for them. Add this to my _Orb_ salary, and I should be a man of substance. I glared over my coffee-cup at an imaginary John Hatton. "You thought you'd done me, did you?" I said to him. "By Gad! I'll have the laugh of you all yet." I was shaking my fist at him when the door opened. I hurriedly tilted back my chair, and looked out of the window. "Hullo, Cloyster." I looked round. It was Fermin. Just the man I wanted to see. He seemed depressed. Even embarrassed. "How's the column?" I asked. "Oh, all right," he said awkwardly. "I wanted to see you about that. I was going to write to you." "Oh, yes," I said, "of course. About the holiday work. When are you off?" "I was thinking of starting next week." "Good. Sorry to lose you, of course, but----" He shuffled his feet. "You're doing pretty well now at the game, aren't you, Cloyster?" he said. It was not to my interests to cry myself down, so I said that I was doing quite decently. He seemed relieved. "You're making quite a good income, I suppose? I mean, no difficulty about placing your stuff?" "Editors squeal for it." "Because, otherwise what I wanted to say to you might have been something of a blow. But it won't affect you much if you're doing plenty of work elsewhere." A cold hand seemed laid upon my heart. My mind leaped to what he meant. Something had gone wrong with the _Orb_ holiday work, my sheet-anchor. "Do you remember writing a par about Stickney, the butter-scotch man, you know, ragging him when he got his peerage?" "Yes." It was one of the best paragraphs I had ever done. A two-line thing, full of point and sting. I had been editing "On Your Way" that day, Fermin being on a holiday and Gresham ill; and I had put the paragraph conspicuously at the top of the column. "Well," said Fermin, "I'm afraid there was rather trouble about it. Hamilton came into our room yesterday, and asked if I should be seeing you. I said I thought I should. 'Well, tell him,' said Hamilton, 'that that paragraph of his about Stickney has only cost us five hundred pounds. That's all.' And he went out again. Apparently Stickney was on the point of advertising largely with the _Orb_, and had backed out in a huff. Today, I went to see him about my holiday, and he wanted to know who was coming in to do my work. I mentioned you, and he absolutely refused to have you in. I'm awfully sorry about it." I was silent. The shock was too great. Instead of drifting easily into my struggle on a comfortable weekly salary, I should have to start the tooth-and-nail fighting at once. I wanted to get away somewhere by myself, and grapple with the position. I said good-bye to Fermin, retaining sufficient presence of mind to treat the thing lightly, and walked swiftly along the restless Strand, marvelling at what I had suffered at the hands of Fortune. The deceiver of Margaret, deceived by Eva, a pauper! I covered the distance between Groom's and Walpole Street in sombre meditation. In a sort of dull panic I sat down immediately on my arrival, and tried to work. I told myself that I must turn out something, that it would be madness to waste a moment. I sat and chewed my pen from two o'clock till five, but not a page of printable stuff could I turn out. Looking back at myself at that moment, I am not surprised that my ideas did not flow. It would have been a wonderful triumph of strength of mind if I had been able to write after all that had happened. Dr. Johnson has laid it down that a man can write at any time, if he sets himself to it earnestly; but mine were exceptional circumstances. My life's happiness and my means for supporting life at all, happy or otherwise, had been swept away in a single morning; and I found myself utterly unable to pen a coherent sentence. At five o'clock I gave up the struggle, and rang for tea. While I was having tea there was a ring at the bell, and my landlady brought in a large parcel. I recognised the writing on the label. The hand was Margaret's. I wondered in an impersonal sort of way what Margaret could be sending to me. From the feel of it the contents were paper. It amuses me now to think that it was a good half-hour before I took the trouble to cut the string. Fortune and happiness were waiting for me in that parcel, and I would not bother to open it. I sat in my chair, smoking and thinking, and occasionally cast a gloomy eye at the parcel. But I did not open it. Then my pipe went out, and I found that I had no matches in my pocket. There were some at the farther end of the mantelpiece. I had to get up to reach them, and, once up, I found myself filled with a sufficient amount of energy to take a knife from the table and cut the string. Languidly I undid the brown paper. The contents were a pile of typewritten pages and a letter. It was the letter over which my glassy eyes travelled first. "My own dear, brave, old darling James," it began, and its purport was that she had written a play, and wished me to put my name to it and hawk it round: to pass off as my work her own amateurish effort at playwriting. Ludicrous. And so immoral, too. I had always imagined that Margaret had a perfectly flawless sense of honesty. Yet here she was asking me deliberately to impose on the credulity of some poor, trusting theatrical manager. The dreadful disillusionment of it shocked me. Most men would have salved their wounded susceptibilities by putting a match to the manuscript without further thought or investigation. But I have ever been haunted by a somewhat over-strict conscience, and I sat down there and then to read the stupid stuff. At seven o'clock I was still reading. My dinner was brought in. I bolted it with Margaret's play propped up against the potato dish. I read on and on. I could not leave it. Incredible as it would appear from anyone but me, I solemnly assure you that the typewritten nonsense I read that evening was nothing else than _The Girl who Waited_. _ |
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