________________________________________________
_ WE had not been many days ashore, when Doctor Johnson was espied
coming along the Broom Road.
We had heard that he meditated a visit, and suspected what he was
after. Being upon the consul's hands, all our expenses were of course
payable by him in his official capacity; and, therefore, as a friend
of Wilson, and sure of good pay, the shore doctor had some idea of
allowing us to run up a bill with him. True, it was rather awkward to
ask us to take medicines which, on board the ship, he told us were
not needed. However, he resolved to put a bold face on the matter, and
give us a call.
His approach was announced by one of the scouts, upon which someone
suggested that we should let him enter, and then put him in the
stocks. But Long Ghost proposed better sport. What it was, we shall
presently see.
Very bland and amiable, Doctor Johnson advanced, and, resting his cane
on the stocks, glanced to right and left, as we lay before him.
"Well, my lads"--he began--"how do you find yourselves to-day?"
Looking very demure, the men made some rejoinder; and he went on.
"Those poor fellows I saw the other day--the sick, I mean--how are
they?" and he scrutinized the company. At last, he singled out one
who was assuming a most unearthly appearance, and remarked that he
looked as if he were extremely ill. "Yes," said the sailor dolefully,
"I'm afeard, doctor, I'll soon be losing the number of my mess!" (a
sea phrase, for departing this life) and he closed his eyes, and
moaned.
"What does he say?" said Johnson, turning round eagerly.
"Why," exclaimed Flash Jack, who volunteered as interpreter, "he
means he's going to croak" (die).
"Croak! and what does that mean, applied to a patient?"
"Oh! I understand," said he, when the word was explained; and he
stepped over the stocks, and felt the man's pulse.
"What's his name?" he asked, turning this time to old Navy Bob.
"We calls him Jingling Joe," replied that worthy.
"Well then, men, you must take good care of poor Joseph; and I will
send him a powder, which must be taken according to the directions.
Some of you know how to read, I presume?"
"That ere young cove does," replied Bob, pointing toward the place
where I lay, as if he were directing attention to a sail at sea.
After examining the rest--some of whom were really invalids, but
convalescent, and others only pretending to be labouring under divers
maladies, Johnson turned round, and addressed the party.
"Men," said he, "if any more of you are ailing, speak up, and let me
know. By order of the consul, I'm to call every day; so if any of you
are at all sick, it's my duty to prescribe for you. This sudden
change from ship fare to shore living plays the deuce with you
sailors, so be cautious about eating fruit. Good-day! I'll send you
the medicines the first thing in the morning."
Now, I am inclined to suspect that with all his want of understanding,
Johnson must have had some idea that we were quizzing him. Still,
that was nothing, so long as it answered his purpose; and therefore,
if he did see through us, he never showed it.
Sure enough, at the time appointed, along came a native lad with a
small basket of cocoa-nut stalks, filled with powders, pill-boxes,
and-vials, each with names and directions written in a large, round
hand. The sailors, one and all, made a snatch at the collection,
under the strange impression that some of the vials were seasoned
with spirits. But, asserting his privilege as physician to the first
reading of the labels, Doctor Long Ghost was at last permitted to
take possession of the basket.
The first thing lighted upon was a large vial, labelled--"For William
--rub well in."
This vial certainly had a spirituous smell; and upon handing it to the
patient, he made a summary internal application of its contents. The
doctor looked aghast.
There was now a mighty commotion. Powders and pills were voted mere
drugs in the market, and the holders of vials were pronounced lucky
dogs. Johnson must have known enough of sailors to make some of his
medicines palatable--this, at least, Long Ghost suspected. Certain it
was, everyone took to the vials; if at all spicy, directions were
unheeded, their contents all going one road.
The largest one of all, quite a bottle indeed, and having a sort of
burnt brandy odour, was labelled--"For Daniel, drink freely, and
until relieved." This Black Dan proceeded to do; and would have made
an end of it at once, had not the bottle, after a hard struggle, been
snatched from his hands, and passed round, like a jovial decanter.
The old tar had complained of the effects of an immoderate eating of
fruit.
Upon calling the following morning, our physician found his precious
row of patients reclining behind the stocks, and doing "as well as
could be expected."
But the pills and powders were found to have been perfectly inactive:
probably because none had been taken. To make them efficacious, it
was suggested that, for the future, a bottle of Pisco should be sent
along with them. According to Flash Jack's notions, unmitigated
medical compounds were but dry stuff at the best, and needed
something good to wash them down.
Thus far, our own M.D., Doctor Long Ghost, after starting the frolic,
had taken no further part in it; but on the physician's third visit,
he took him to one side, and had a private confabulation. What it
was, exactly, we could not tell; but from certain illustrative signs
and gestures, I fancied that he was describing the symptoms of some
mysterious disorganization of the vitals, which must have come on
within the hour. Assisted by his familiarity with medical terms, he
seemed to produce a marked impression. At last, Johnson went his way,
promising aloud that he would send Long Ghost what he desired.
When the medicine boy came along the following morning, the doctor was
the first to accost him, walking off with a small purple vial. This
time, there was little else in the basket but a case-bottle of the
burnt brandy cordial, which, after much debate, was finally disposed
of by someone pouring the contents, little by little, into the half of
a cocoa-nut shell, and so giving all who desired a glass. No further
medicinal cheer remaining, the men dispersed.
An hour or two passed, when Flash Jack directed attention to my long
friend, who, since the medicine boy left, had not been noticed till
now. With eyes closed, he was lying behind the stocks, and Jack was
lifting his arm and letting it fall as if life were extinct. On
running up with the rest, I at once connected the phenomenon with the
mysterious vial. Searching his pocket, I found it, and holding it up,
it proved to be laudanum. Flash Jack, snatching it from my hand in a
rapture, quickly informed all present what it was; and with much
glee, proposed a nap for the company. Some of them not comprehending
him exactly, the apparently defunct Long Ghost--who lay so still that
I a little suspected the genuineness of his sleep--was rolled about as
an illustration of the virtues of the vial's contents. The idea
tickled everybody mightily; and throwing themselves down, the magic
draught was passed from hand to hand. Thinking that, as a matter of
course, they must at once become insensible, each man, upon taking
his sip, fell back, and closed his eyes.
There was little fear of the result, since the narcotic was equally
distributed. But, curious to see how it would operate, I raised
myself gently after a while, and looked around. It was about noon,
and perfectly still; and as we all daily took the siesta, I was not
much surprised to find everyone quiet. Still, in one or two instances,
I thought I detected a little peeping.
Presently, I heard a footstep, and saw Doctor Johnson approaching.
And perplexed enough did he look at the sight of his prostrate file of
patients, plunged, apparently, in such unaccountable slumbers.
"Daniel," he cried, at last, punching in the side with his cane the
individual thus designated--"Daniel, my good fellow, get up! do you
hear?"
But Black Dan was immovable; and he poked the next sleeper.
"Joseph, Joseph! come, wake up! it's me, Doctor Johnson."
But Jingling Joe, with mouth open, and eyes shut, was not to be
started.
"Bless my soul!" he exclaimed, with uplifted hands and cane, "what's
got into 'em? I say, men"--he shouted, running up and down--"come to
life, men! what under the sun's the matter with you?" and he struck
the stocks, and bawled with increased vigour.
At last he paused, folded his hands over the head of his cane, and
steadfastly gazed upon us. The notes of the nasal orchestra were
rising and falling upon his ear, and a new idea suggested itself.
"Yes, yes; the rascals must have been getting boozy. Well, it's none
of my business--I'll be off;" and off he went.
No sooner was he out of sight, than nearly all started to their feet,
and a hearty laugh ensued.
Like myself, most of them had been watching the event from under a sly
eyelid. By this time, too, Doctor Long Ghost was as wide awake as
anybody. What were his reasons for taking laudanum,--if, indeed, he
took any whatever,--is best known to himself; and, as it is neither
mine nor the reader's business, we will say no more about it. _
Read next: PART I: CHAPTER XXXVI. WE ARE CARRIED BEFORE THE CONSUL AND CAPTAIN
Read previous: PART I: CHAPTER XXXIV. LIFE AT THE CALABOOZA
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