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Two Men of Sandy Bar: A Drama, a play by Bret Harte |
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Act 2 Scene 1 |
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_ ACT II SCENE 1 [SCENE 1. Red Gulch. Canyon of river, and distant view of Sierras, snow-ravined. Schoolhouse of logs in right middle distance. Ledge of rocks in centre. On steps of schoolhouse two large bunches of flowers. Enter STARBOTTLE, slowly climbing rocks L., panting and exhausted. Seats himself on rock, foreground, and wipes his face with his pocket-handkerchief.] STARBOTTLE. This is evidently the er--locality. Here are the--er--groves of Academus--the heights of er--Ida! I should say that the unwillingness which the--er--divine Shakespeare points out in the--er--"whining schoolboy" is intensified in--er--climbing this height, and the--er--alacrity of his departure must be in exact ratio to his gravitation. Good idea. Ged! say it to schoolma'am. Wonder what she's like? Humph! the usual thin, weazened, hatchet-faced Yankee spinster, with an indecent familiarity with Webster's Dictionary! And this is the woman, Star, you're expected to discover, and bring back to affluence and plenty. This is the new fanaticism of Mr. Alexander Morton, sen. Ged! not satisfied with dragging his prodigal son out of merited obscurity, this miserable old lunatic commissions ME to hunt up another of his abused relatives; some forty-fifth cousin, whose mother he had frozen, beaten, or starved to death! And all this to please his prodigal! Ged! if that prodigal hadn't presented himself that morning, I'd have picked up--er--some--er--reduced gentleman--Ged, that knew how to spend the old man's money to better advantage. (Musing.) If this schoolmistress were barely good-looking, Star,--and she's sure to have fifty thousand from the old man,--Ged, you might get even with Alexander, sen., for betrothing his prodigal to Dona Jovita, in spite of the--er--evident preference that the girl showed for you. Capital idea! If she's not positively hideous I'll do it! Ged! I'll reconnoitre first! (Musing.) I could stand one eye; yes--er--single eye would not be positively objectionable in the--er--present experiments of science toward the--er--the substitution of glass. Red hair, Star, is--er--Venetian,--the beauty of Giorgione. (Goes up to schoolhouse window, and looks in.) Too early! Seven empty benches; seven desks splashed with ink. The--er--rostrum of the awful Minerva empty, but--er--adorned with flowers, nosegays--demn me! And here, here on the--er--very threshold (looking down), floral tributes. The--er--conceit of these New England schoolma'ams, and their--er--evident Jesuitical influence over the young, is fraught, sir, fraught with--er--darkly political significance. Eh, Ged! there's a caricature on the blackboard. (Laughing.) Ha, ha! Absurd chalk outline of ridiculous fat person. Evidently the schoolma'am's admirer. Ged! immensely funny! Ah! boys will be boys. Like you, Star, just like you,--always up to tricks like that. A sentence scrawled below the figure seems to be--er--explanation. Hem! (Takes out eyeglass.) Let's see (reading.) "This is old"--old--er--old--demme, sir!--"Starbottle!" This is infamous. I haven't been forty-eight hours in the place, and to my certain knowledge haven't spoken to a child. Ged, sir, it's the--er--posting of a libel! The woman, the--er--female, who permits this kind of thing, should be made responsible--er--personally responsible. Eh, hush! What have we here? (Retires to ledge of rocks.) [Enter MISS MARY L., reading letter.] MISS MARY. Strange! Is it all a dream? No! here are the familiar rocks, the distant snow-peaks, the schoolhouse, the spring below. An hour ago I was the poor schoolmistress of Red Gulch, with no ambition nor hope beyond this mountain wall; and now--oh, it must be a dream! But here is the letter. Certainly this is no delusion: it is too plain, formal, business-like. (Reads.) MY DEAR COUSIN--I address the only surviving child of my cousin Mary and her husband John Morris, both deceased. It is my duty as a Christian relative to provide you with a home--to share with you that wealth and those blessings that a kind providence has vouchsafed me. I am aware that my conduct to your father and mother, while in my sinful and unregenerate state, is no warrantee for my present promise; but my legal adviser, Col. Starbottle, who is empowered to treat with you, will assure you of the sincerity of my intention, and my legal ability to perform it. He will conduct you to my house; you will share its roof with me and my prodigal son Alexander, now by the grace of God restored, and mindful of the error of his ways. I enclose a draft for one thousand dollars: if you require more, draw upon me for the same. Your cousin, ALEXANDER MORTON, SEN. My mother's cousin--so! Cousin Alexander! a rich man, and reunited to the son he drove into shameful exile. Well! we will see this confidential lawyer; and until then--until then--why, we are the schoolmistress of Red Gulch, and responsible for its youthful prodigals. (Going to schoolhouse door.) MISS MARY (stopping to examine flowers). Poor, poor Sandy! Another offering, and, as he fondly believes, unknown and anonymous! As if he were not visible in every petal and leaf! The mariposa blossom of the plain. The snowflower I longed for, from those cool snowdrifts beyond the ridge. And I really believe he was sober when he arranged them. Poor fellow! I begin to think that the dissipated portion of this community are the most interesting. Ah! some one behind the rock,--Sandy, I'll wager. No! a stranger! COL. STARBOTTLE (aside, and advancing). If I could make her think I left those flowers! (Aloud.) When I state that--er--I am perhaps--er--stranger-- MISS MARY (interrupting him coldly). You explain, sir, your appearance on a spot which the rude courtesy of even this rude miner's camp has preserved from intrusion. STARBOTTLE (slightly abashed, but recovering himself). Yes--Ged!--that is, I--er--saw you admiring--er--tribute--er--humble tribute of flowers. I am myself passionately devoted to flowers. Ged! I've spent hours--in--er--bending over the--er--graceful sunflower, in--er--plucking the timid violet from the overhanging but reluctant bough, in collecting the--er--er--fauna--I mean the--er--flora--of this--er--district. MISS MARY (who has been regarding him intently). Permit me to leave you in uninterrupted admiration of them. (Handing him flowers.) You will have ample time in your journey down the gulch to indulge your curiosity! Hands STARBOTTLE flowers, enters schoolhouse, and quietly closes door on STARBOTTLE as SANDY MORTON enters cautiously and sheepishly from left. SANDY stops in astonishment on observing STARBOTTLE, and remains by wing left. STARBOTTLE (smelling flowers, and not noticing MISS MARY'S absence). Beautiful--er--exquisite. (Looking up at closed door.) Ged! Most extraordinary disappearance! (Looks around, and discovers SANDY; examines him for a moment through his eyeglass, and then, after a pause, inflates his chest, turns his back on SANDY, and advances to schoolhouse door. SANDY comes quickly, and, as STARBOTTLE raises his cane to rap on door, seizes his arm. Both men, regarding each other fixedly, holding each other, retreat slowly and cautiously to centre. Then STARBOTTLE disengages his arm.) SANDY (embarrassedly but determinedly). Look yer, stranger. By the rules of this camp, this place is sacred to the schoolma'am and her children. STARBOTTLE (with lofty severity). It is! Then--er--permit me to ask, sir, what YOU are doing here. SANDY (embarrassed, and dropping his head in confusion). I was--passing. There is no school to-day. STARBOTTLE. Then, sir, Ged! permit me to--er--DEMAND--DEMAND, sir--an apology. You have laid, sir, your hand upon my person--demn me! Not the first time, sir, either; for, if I am not mistaken, you are the--er--inebriated menial, sir, who two months ago jostled me, sir,--demn me,--as I entered the rancho of my friend Don Jose Castro. SANDY (starting, aside). Don Jose! (Aloud.) Hush, hush! She will hear you. No--that is--(stops, confused and embarrassed. Aside.) She will hear of my disgrace. He will tell her the whole story. STARBOTTLE. I shall await your apology one hour. At the end of that time, if it is not forthcoming, I shall--er--er--waive your menial antecedents, and expect the--er--satisfaction of a gentleman. Good-morning, sir. (Turns to schoolhouse.) SANDY. No, no: you shall not go! STARBOTTLE. Who will prevent me? SANDY (grappling him). I will. (Appealingly.) Look yer, stranger, don't provoke me, I, a desperate man, desperate and crazed with drink,--don't ye, don't ye do it! For God's sake, take your hands off me! Ye don't know what ye do. Ah! (Wildly, holding STARBOTTLE firmly, and forcing him backward to precipice beyond ledge of rocks.) Hear me. Three years ago, in a moment like this, I dragged a man--my friend--to this precipice. I--I--no! no!--don't anger me now! (Sandy's grip on STARBOTTLE relaxes slightly, and his head droops.) STARBOTTLE (coolly). Permit me to remark, sir, that any reminiscence of your--er--friend--or any other man is--er--at this moment, irrelevant and impertinent. Permit me to point out the--er--fact, sir, that your hand is pressing heavily, demned heavily, on my shoulder. SANDY (fiercely). You shall not go! STARBOTTLE (fiercely). Shall not? Struggle. STARBOTTLE draws derringer from his breast-pocket, and SANDY seizes his arm. In this position both parties struggle to ledge of rocks, and COL. STARBOTTLE is forced partly over. MISS MARY (opening schoolhouse door). I thought I heard voices. (Looking toward ledge of rocks, where COL. STARBOTTLE and SANDY are partly hidden by trees. Both men relax grasp of each other at MISS MARY'S voice.) COL. STARBOTTLE (aloud and with voice slightly raised, to SANDY). By--er--leaning over this way a moment, a single moment, you will--er--perceive the trail I speak of. It follows the canyon to the right. It will bring you to--er--the settlement in an hour. (To MISS MARY, as if observing her for the first time.) I believe I am--er--right; but, being--er--more familiar with the locality, you can direct the gentleman better. SANDY slowly sinks on his knees beside rock, with his face averted from schoolhouse, as COL. STARBOTTLE disengages himself, and advances jauntily and gallantly to schoolhouse. COL. STARBOTTLE. In--er--er--showing the stranger the--er--way, I perhaps interrupted our interview. The--er--observances of--er--civility and humanity must not be foregone, even for--er--the ladies. I--er--believe I address Miss Mary Morris. When I--er--state that my name is Col. Starbottle, charged on mission of--er--delicate nature, I believe I--er--explain MY intrusion. MISS MARY bows, and motions to schoolhouse door; COL. STARBOTTLE, bowing deeply, enters; but MISS MARY remains standing by door, looking toward trees that hide SANDY. MISS MARY (aside). I am sure it was Sandy's voice! But why does he conceal himself? SANDY (aside, rising slowly to his feet, with his back to schoolhouse door). Even this conceited bully overcomes me, and shames me with his readiness and tact. He was quick to spare her--a stranger--the spectacle of two angry men. I--I--must needs wrangle before her very door! Well, well! better out of her sight forever, than an object of pity or terror. [Exit slowly, and with downcast eyes, right. MISS MARY (watching the trail). It WAS Sandy! and this concealment means something more than bashfulness. Perhaps the stranger can explain. [Enters schoolhouse, and closes door.] _ |
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